Limerick Peek (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was sneaking a peek…*

or

A woman was showing her pique…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Peek
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A scent expert, sneaking a peek
At some formulas, heard a loud creak.
Though he hid just in time,
He was caught at his crime
When he farted, emitting a reek.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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79 Responses to “Limerick Peek (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Lisa Doherty says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    At the site Limerick of the Week
    He gave it a go
    And won best in show
    Now his friends call him Larry the geek

  2. Ira Bloom says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek,
    At a gal with an awesome physique.
    Such a treat for the eyes:
    Perfect breasts! Perfect thighs!
    It’s too bad that his prospects were bleak.

  3. Axe Man was sneaking a peek

    At some ladies so sexy and chic

    Axe is a bit dumb and can’t understand

    How ladies so gorgeously glam

    Could have such a broad-shouldered physique

  4. A fellow was sneaking a peek
    At the news he had missed from last week.
    Saw the shutdown and Miley and a spinning O’Reilly.
    ‘It’s too much,’ he cried. ‘I’ll just go Gleek.’

  5. Diane Groothuis says:

    Cinderella was taking a peak
    At Prince Charming so handsome and sleek
    And later that night
    When she rushed home in fright
    He brought her a shoe from lalique.

  6. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    While taking a leak
    He missed the seat
    Wanting to hit delete
    When he got chased out and had to streak

  7. Kirk Miller says:

    The commercials and ads sure do pique.
    Don’t like shopping; it makes me just shriek.
    The highways and buy ways
    Are sigh ways and cry ways.
    I don’t buy it — the spending mystique.

  8. Kirk Miller says:

    He would count to one hundred, not peek.
    Dr. Jekyll was rather unique.
    Somewhere deep in his mind,
    Alter ego he’d find
    When the doctor would play Hyde and seek.

  9. Kirk Miller says:

    When she talked of the mountainous peak,
    She was able to suddenly pique
    My adventurous streak.
    And she knew I would seek
    Its location to gather a peek.

  10. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peak
    At a gal with a striking physique.
    She dropped her sarong.
    Exposed a string thong.
    The sneak in shock peeped a week squeak.

  11. John Sardo says:

    A woman was showing her pique
    At a guy who was sneaking a peak
    At her decollette
    When her breasts would sway
    From her chest to her chin to her cheek.

  12. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peak
    At a gal in a Belgian boutique
    She batted her eyes
    And to his surprise
    Said her name was Monique Dominique.

  13. OwenKL says:

    A woman was showing her pique
    At misuse of the homophone peek.
    One means to provoke,
    One’s a sly look to cloak.
    From frustration, she could jump off a peak!

  14. Mark Kane says:

    She’s nearing her sexual peak,
    And finding it harder to speak.
    As sighs grow to moans,
    And moans to deep groans,
    She ends with a sacred shriek.

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    At a dress sketch, both private and chic!
    The design is all MINE,
    You untalented swine!”
    Said the artist, who was indeed piqued!

  16. Mark Kane says:

    Her stripping is simply to pique
    Some interest in her fine physique.
    A flash of her thigh,
    She catches his eye,
    Then renders the poor fellow weak.

  17. Phyllis L says:

    A woman was sneaking a peek
    At the limerick theme for next week.
    She said, “I will show ‘em,
    I’m writing a poem,
    For the prize won’t be won by the meek!”

  18. rbasler says:

    A fellow was climbing a peak
    To get to the top took a week
    He said, with a frown
    “It’s much quicker down
    “I just untie this knot, then I – eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!”

  19. Fred Bortz says:

    Peek at the peak of pique:

    The couple finds erotic pique
    In make-up sex three times a week.
    They reach rapture, delights,
    And frisson on the nights
    When they rage so much they cannot speak.

  20. Fred Bortz says:

    My grandtwins on Facebook may peek
    At your limericks here every week.
    When your rhymes mention sex,
    I am sure that connects.
    To teens, yes, that topic does speak.

  21. UL says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek,
    At Mad Kane’s limerick week,
    Inspiration struck –
    Imagination snuck-
    He drew the words, with a silver streak.

  22. Ailsa McKillop says:

    Whistleblowers our interest did pique
    With details revealed very bleak.
    As for the founder
    Is he hero or bounder?
    And what is the next WikiLeak?

  23. Ailsa McKillop says:

    A schoolgirl was smitten with pique
    It was hard to be mild; to be meek.
    She was not of the chosen;
    From their ranks she was frozen:
    The oh-so-cool, glamorous clique.

  24. Ailsa McKillop says:

    Did you see the French chef’s fit of pique
    In his bistro in Britain last week?
    Oh boy, was he skittish!
    Haute cuisine isn’t British
    They’d asked him for bubble and squeak.

    (Bubble and squeak is a meal made by shallow frying leftover potatoes and other vegetables. Traditionally the leftover vegetables from the Sunday roast would be used.)

  25. Ailsa McKillop says:

    A tourist was sneaking a peek
    At new stock in the Paris boutique.
    “It’s hideous!” she grunted.
    Said the vendeuse, affronted,
    C’est tout ce qu’il y a de plus chic!”

  26. Fred Bortz says:

    From a fit of political pique,
    We may default someday this week.
    We’ll know who to blame
    For this national shame,
    As our finances Cruz up the creek.

  27. Tom Harris says:

    The fellow was taking a peek
    At the gal, who let loose a shriek.
    “You make me feel lewd!”
    “In my mind you are nude,
    And, by god, it’s making me weak.”

  28. Ira Bloom says:

    A Bedouin, her interest to pique,
    Spoke to her in a manner oblique:
    “Do you know, lovely miss,
    How the French like to kiss?”
    Which she thought, overall, tongue-in-sheik.

  29. John Peter Larkin says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    at a woman displaying her pique.
    She’d seen him before
    and said, “Hey! No more!
    Your sneaking has just reached its peak.”

  30. Bob Kennedy says:

    Our oil reserves are past peak.
    The prospects for more? Kind of weak.
    The industry’s crackin’
    Our shale, plus they’re fraction’.
    (Don’t drink anything from this creek!)

  31. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A woman was showing her pique
    To a man at his physical peak
    So for hours they ground
    And when finished he found
    He’d become very shaky and weak

  32. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    At Madeleine’s Limerick technique
    In a big secret drawer
    She stores verses galore
    Releasing a new one each week.

  33. Ailsa McKillop says:

    The ’70s crazes hit a peak
    (or “abyss”?) of repellence unique:
    Bell bottoms. Cheese fondue.
    Roller skating—quite beyond you.
    On the plus side? Less bloody batik!

  34. Jim says:

    Watch Where You Step

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    While he was playing hide and seek
    What he then saw
    Was pretty raw
    Spoiled and rotten, it sure did reek

    ..
    Sorry about the duplicate, Mad. This one has the correct URL.

  35. John Armstrong says:

    A woman was showing her pique
    After her neighbor ventured a peek
    You are quite asymmetric
    I measured using metric
    And your left peak is higher than your right peak

  36. Diane Groothuis says:

    Humpty Dumpty was taking a peek
    At a very nice piece of antique
    But distracted he fell
    And fractured his shell
    Saying “This is no yolk, I’m a freak”.

  37. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A fellow sneaking a peak
    At another guy having a leak
    Suffered shock and surprise
    At the member’s great size
    Compared with his own little pipsqueak.

  38. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    On the toilet lid trying to peek
    Stood this nosey old stickybeak
    But bad luck for him
    The lid broke! He fell in
    And was flushed with chagrin so to speak.

  39. brian miller says:

    a fellow was sneaking a peek
    when he got a bonk on the beak
    how dare you
    look into the lew,
    oh my how it did reak…

    lol

  40. Bone says:

    A woman was nearing her peak
    When her beau let out with a shriek
    He began apologizin’
    She only rolled her eyes and
    Said “That’s OK, honey. Maybe next week.”

  41. grapeling says:

    a couple was sneaking a peek
    at images that may be called “Greek”
    he pushed and he prodded
    til she finally nodded
    and in to the back door he sneaked

  42. Craig says:

    He had wanted to get just a peek,
    At her cleavage so tan, soft and sleek.
    But his fingers had flown
    With a mind of their own –
    Now his cast won’t come off ’til next week.

  43. Souris Krauss says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    The guy’s tush – “It’s magnifique!”
    But unbeknownst to him
    Someone else was looking in
    His girlfriend was really quite piqued!

  44. Tim James says:

    A woman exclaimed in her pique:
    “It’s a grasp of James Joyce that I seek.
    I tried Finnegan’s Wake;
    It’s a mess, for God’s sake!
    Irish writers like Joyce are O’Blique.”

  45. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Sorry Madeleine for this repeat but after having a peek at the original I noticed I had spelled peek as peak.

    A fellow sneaking a peek
    At another guy having a leak
    Suffered shock and surprise
    At the member’s great size
    Compared with his own little pipsqueak.

  46. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An ugly sheila to calm down her pique
    Set off on a hike for a week
    As she walked down a track
    Out jumped a sex maniac
    Took one look and off he did streak

  47. Tim James says:

    A gal at her physical peak
    Can make love twenty times in a week.
    In my youth that was nifty,
    But now that I’m fifty
    Be careful. You’ll break this antique.

  48. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An old hooker was showing her pique
    To the Vicar down by the creek
    He yelled, “My God Nell,
    It’s the size of a well
    If I went in I’d be lost for a week.

  49. shanyn says:

    A fellow sneaking a peek
    Missed his mark taking a leak.
    He had to go outside to pee,
    and had a chance to see
    A dog and cat starting to speak.

  50. Kathy El-Assal says:

    She picked up the book, took a peek:
    Inside was a Freudian critique.
    Penis envy, it stated,
    Was over-inflated–
    Vaginas, too, have their “Mystique”.

  51. Diane Groothuis says:

    The onion patch nearing its peak
    Was planted quite close to a leek
    But a solitary rose
    Offended the nose
    It just wasn’t part of the clique.

  52. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An old hooker was showing her pique
    By blowing her top so to speak
    Cos the bum she’d been laying
    Shot through without paying
    While the old girl was taking a leak.

  53. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young virgin was showing her pique
    Cos she thought she was sexually weak
    But when a fellow named Horace
    Touched her clitoris
    She entered the world of mystique.

  54. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An old hooker was showing her pique
    By blowing her top, so to speak
    Cos the bum she’d been laying
    Shot through without paying
    While the old girl was taking a leak.

  55. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A sexy young chick showed her pique
    Encouraged by males who peek
    So by wearing a TuTu
    And panties to see through
    All the oglers knees became weak.

  56. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A fat girl was showing her pique
    As her weight was reaching it’s peak
    She growled with chagrin
    “Curse the state I am in
    And that bastard who shagged me the freak.”

  57. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young lady showing her pique
    Said her attraction to men was unique
    “They uncover my bust
    Not from sexual lust
    They just like to observe my physique.”

  58. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A woman was showing her pique
    Using mirror to give boobs a tweak
    Checking silicon state
    And not knowing her date
    At the keyhole was sneaking a peek.

  59. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    At the roast in the ‘fridge, but the squeak
    Of the floor made him turn.
    Wife stood glaring, face stern:
    “No more beef for you now, for a week!”

  60. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    Through the curtain: his knees soon grew weak.
    Cakes and pies, drool – oh my!
    “They’re for church,” wife strode by;
    “Hands off, bucko!” He let out a sigh.

  61. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Oops, Mad, rhymed the last line wrong – ack!

    Sub this:
    “Hands off, bucko!” Sigh: hungry but meek.

  62. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was showing her pique
    By buying up every antique
    She could find — Take that, Don,
    Til your money is gone!
    But her anger’s just starting to peak.

    He had dared to stray, boinking a floozy:
    Bleached blonde, double D’s, a real doozy.
    Gone hog wild, her smile brittle,
    She “charged” on, saying little –
    In their settlement plan, she’d be choosy.

  63. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was starting to peak
    When his wife called him selfish and weak:
    “You don’t wait for me, Ed!
    Did you hear what I said?”
    Further prospects for sex appeared bleak.

  64. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    The voyeur was spotted mid-peek
    And her victim let out a loud squeak
    Where, enthroned in the stall,
    He glared, baring his all
    While she sniggered: a rare female freak

    Who, well known to the cops as a tweaker,
    Was also a persistent peeker.
    She giggled and leered,
    But it was as she feared:
    He wasn’t enough of a shrieker :(

  65. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    The sisters had gotten a peek:
    Delighted, they let out a shriek
    At the size of his balls,
    Then emitted catcalls:
    Batter, batter! The pitcher’s a phreak!

  66. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    At a woman’s bodacious physique.
    “You are busted,” said she,
    “(As am I, I’ll agree)
    Now tell me your honest critique.”

  67. Dr. Goose says:

    A woman was sneaking a peak
    At a gentleman’s robust physique.
    “He may have, as a rule,
    An adequate tool,
    But want for the proper technique.”

  68. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was sneaking a peek
    With his wife at Victoria’s Sec-
    ret, Tagging along
    As she tried on a thong
    And showed ‘im a fair bit o’cheek.

  69. Dr. Goose says:

    A dachshund was sneaking a peek
    At a Doberman taking a leak:
    “I get lots of tail
    Out on the dog trail;
    Though small, I am not very meek.”

  70. Dr. Goose says:

    A gander was taking a peek
    At a goose with a bright orange beak:
    “I’m a regular chap
    Who won’t easily flap,
    But her waddle is making me weak.”

  71. Dr. Goose says:

    A poet was sneaking a peak
    At the limerick rhymes of the week:
    “I follow them, though
    Strictly on the down low,
    Lest I ruin my high-class mystique.”

  72. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    At aged 70 was showing her pique
    In the Harem to husband The Sheik
    But her ranting and tears
    Just fell on deaf ears
    For now she was just too antique.

  73. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young hooker was showing her pique
    In the cot with a fellow named Zeke
    Who said, “Please don’t worry
    For I’m in no hurry
    While your mouth is full don’t try to speak

  74. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An ugly nympho was showing her pique
    With a hairy guy from Mozambique
    Their constant hot mating
    Resulted in creating
    A being of which we don’t speak.

  75. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A new wife was showing her pique
    With her cooking which turned out real bleak
    For her husband young Fred’s
    Now confined to his bed
    After eating her home made quiche

  76. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An athletic guy at his peak
    Did an elusive cold weather streak
    To explain his success
    He said, “I confess
    I’m faster when the weather is bleak.”

  77. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A sheep farmer whose brain’s at it’s peak
    Is regarded by some as a geek
    By mating a ewe
    With a large kangaroo
    It’s brown woolly jumpers he’ll seek

  78. A lady was having a peek
    at two sports fans sharing streak.
    But this public matter
    made the free show non grata
    having removed all mystique.

  79. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners:
    Limerick of the Week 136

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Ham