Limerick of the Week (96)
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Chris Doyle, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
At beriths, Rabbi Cohen would claim,
“I’m not in this for fortune or fame.
Though a mohel takes joy
In each circumcised boy,
It’s the kid who has skin in the game.”
Congratulations to Boysan Faletusi, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow would frequently claim,
“I’m hung and you’re not, what a shame.”
His friend said, “Don’t brag,
Your hag is a ‘drag,’
And mine is a fine-lookin’ dame!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Bill Klein, Colleen Murphy, Scott Crowder, Steve Whitred, Tim James, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A woman would piously claim
That her husband was easy to tame.
No more Internet porn
Or gambling he’d sworn,
But he kept it up using her name.
Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly:
A hunter would frequently claim
“Always making clean kills is my game.”
As a kid, a pet kitten
He’d grievously smitten–
Since then, he has been anti-maim.
A woman would loudly exclaim
At great volume whenever she came.
But her man was a fool
Who thought her a jewel
‘Til that night she cried out the wrong name.
My three-year old often would claim
He tinkled with accurate aim.
When asked why the potty
Was always so spotty,
He said that his dad was to blame.
A woman would frequently claim.
Her husband was lazy and lame.
I’m sorry, my dear,
Now fetch me a beer,
And let me get back to the game.
A fellow would frequently claim
That all women he knew were the same.
Always early, he’d wait
With concern for each date,
And thank god if they finally came.
Some athletes would frequently claim,
“I’d never use steroids! That’s lame!”
They resembled in bulk
The Incredible Hulk.
Too bad there’s no Drug Hall of Fame.
Mr. Christie had put in a claim
For a hurricane (Sandy, by name),
Which his buddy, the Speaker,
Delayed by a week or
A month, to his evident shame.
Our mother would frequently claim
That my brother and I were to blame.
“You boys broke what encloses
My painting of roses.”
Together we cried: “It’s a frame!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
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Tags: Bill Klein, Boysan Faletusi, Byron Miller, Chris Doyle, Colleen Murphy, David Lefkovits, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Steve Whitred, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest