Crowing About Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman refused to eat crow…*


A woman would frequently crow…*


A fellow refused to eat crow…*


A fellow would frequently crow…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Crowing About Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman refused to eat crow
At the end of a fight with her beau:
“Your point’s for the birds.
I will NOT eat my words.
You’re a dodo. My answer’s still no.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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103 Responses to “Crowing About Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. rbasler says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    Or haggis, or broiled escargot
    The quite picky maven
    Said, “Once I ate raven,
    But never again! Never-mo!”

  2. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An old hooker would frequently crow
    She preferred to give head in the snow
    And woud say with a sniff
    They’re continually stiff
    Before and after they blow.

  3. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman would frequently crow
    That the Senate’s her garden to hoe.
    Her public miscues
    Had appeal for Fox News,
    Who reported it all, blow by blow.

  4. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A woman would frequently blow / when point blank refusal to grow / offended her senses / there were no compenses / her show was defeated by dough.

  5. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young fellow would frequently crow
    That his old feller outclassed a marrow
    And so great was it’s size
    He was forced to devise
    A specially designed wheelbarrow.

  6. Pat Hatt says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    For it gave her a green glow
    Which was rather ick
    As she really got sick
    Throwing up on passerby’s from head to toe

  7. Eugene Fedorov says:

    A lady refused to eat crow
    Well stewed with white truffles in Bordeaux:
    “With such fine cuisine
    I opt for canteen!
    Maxim’s is not where I would go!”

  8. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A hooker who refused to eat crow
    Ate her meal then the dessert to follow
    Was a bloody great dong
    12 inches long
    Which she found she could’nt quite swallow

  9. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A young fellow would frequently crow
    That to climax he used his big toe
    Which in time wove a spell
    Made his loving heart swell
    So he christened his toe Mary Jo.

  10. Bill Klein says:

    A fellow refused to eat crow
    When he vowed to Hawaii he’d row
    But his boat ran ashore
    Somewhere near Baltimore
    So he said he just rolled with the flow

  11. Bill Klein says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    When reviews of her one-woman show
    Said “Alas and alack!
    She’s a talentless hack!”
    She replied “What the hell do they know?”

  12. Hansi says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    Made her sick, don’t-cha know.
    She tried to eat pheasant
    But found it unpleasant
    So decided on a plate of spar-row.

  13. Eugene Fedorov says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    When husband accused her to blow
    Their pretty-faced neighbor
    When man went to labor:
    “That’s not to my taste, you know!”

  14. Mike Dailey says:

    I guess I will have to eat crow
    I thought I was good don’t you know
    But I’ve run out of luck
    Or my limericks suck
    For I never win, place or show

  15. Mike Dailey says:

    To the fellow who frequently crowed
    About all the women he’d “toed”
    That was pure fantasy
    For I tried and “GEE!”
    The cramp in my foot had me snowed

  16. Mike Dailey says:

    The old hooker who couldn’t stop crowing
    About how great she was when it’s snowing
    She couldn’t give squat
    When the going got hot
    so she finally had to quit HOing

  17. Claudia says:

    a woman refused to eat crow
    instead loved to play card games, mau-mau
    to be exact
    with smartness and tact
    which in german is really quite schlau

  18. Mike Dailey says:

    A hooker rrefused to eat crow?
    That’s not like the hookers I know
    They would down anything
    From a toe to a wing
    And smile while they put on a show

    Now mind you a whole freaking crow
    Would challenge most hookers I know
    But they wouldn’t flinch
    You can bet inch by inch
    They’d take care of that crow blow by blow

  19. John Sardo says:

    A fellow refused to eat crow
    Though his gal was in the know
    His behavior was crude
    He’d party till nude
    But the dude so rude “said go with he flow.

  20. Mike Dailey says:

    As a poet I often eat crow
    When my rhythm and rhyme doesn’t flow
    And I miss the mark
    When I try to write “dark”
    And it comes out more Seuss than Poe

  21. John Sardo says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    After performing nude in a show.
    Her guy was upset
    Tried to make her regret
    But she said “honey, it’s quite apropos.

  22. Mike Dailey says:

    I hear Alache girls never eat crows
    No Sioux nor Araphos
    No Hopi or Cree
    Chipewayan, Cherokees
    But man what they’ll do with your toes

  23. Kathy El-Assal says:

    Ann Coulter refused to eat crow
    Finding left-wing critique oh-so-faux.
    She just doubled down
    Knowing Fox News renown
    Was the source from whence fortune would flow.

  24. Veralynne says:

    A woman would frequently crow
    About this ‘n’ that, don’tcha know.
    It was all about her
    (To her YOU were a blur)
    ‘Cuz, Oh, my! She really must go!

  25. Laurie Baker says:

    A fine artist refused to eat crow
    Instead he would rather lay low
    Not prepared to be humble
    He might fumble and stumble
    Or worse, end up like Van Gogh!

  26. zongrik says:

    The Treasurer had to eat crow
    when he did not have enough dough
    he tried to cut spending
    excess borrowing and lending
    but the economy just didn’t grow.

    Treasurer Limerick <- check out the cartoon that goes with this. :)

  27. Don says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    when reminded of what she didn’t know
    said she in a fit,
    “That’s a strange way to hit
    on me and left with her pride in tow”.

  28. Don says:

    A fellow refused to eat crow
    when his pride began to show
    he sulked and he balked
    and felt he’d been stalked
    then smiled, as he rosined up his bow.

  29. Don says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    when reminded of what she should know
    said she in a fit
    “That’s a strange way to hit
    on me.” and left with her pride in tow.

  30. Don says:

    A fellow named Don refused to eat crow
    when a typo occurred to show
    writing is a process
    and revision can bring progress
    as every good writer should know

  31. brian miller says:

    a man who refused to eat crow
    unless on the side it had roe
    to complete the dish
    and it mattered the fish
    tying dinner all in a bow.

  32. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman would frequently crow
    There was nothing that she didn’t know
    So she always said
    but with hubby in bed
    she just couldn’t make the thing grow.

  33. colonialist says:

    A woman refused to eat crow,
    No matter how wrong she would go,
    But was adamant, quite,
    She was always right,
    ‘It’s just in my nature, you know!’

    A bloke who refused to eat crow –
    Was ravin’ that you never know
    What overripe carrion
    They might choose to tarry on,
    Quoth he, ‘Nevermore! No, no, no!’

  34. Manicddaily says:

    Hi Madeleine!

    A woman would frequently crow
    that she was someone in the know.
    Without my yoohoo
    “Who’s Who”‘d be a zoo–
    The high muckies mucked with the low–.”

    Thanks for all your fun.

  35. John Larkin says:

    A woman refused to eat crow.
    Her excuse was that she didn’t know
    that the fiction she panned
    was really quite grand
    and was written by Edgar A. Poe.

  36. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A young fellow refused to eat crow
    But a 69 couldn’t forego
    And then just for fun
    A 1-8-1
    Which both went down well don’t you know.

  37. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    An Eskimo who refused to eat crow
    From his squaw, decided to go
    Slipped out of his Igloo
    To look for a whore who
    Could help him make hay in the snow.

  38. Sue Dulley says:

    A baker refused to eat crow
    For letting her business run low.
    The bread wouldn’t rise
    To a suitable size
    ‘Cos the banker had frozen her dough.

  39. A fellow refused to eat crow
    And for him this was quite apropos
    Crow’s unclean, unlike pigeon
    Based on his religion
    Leviticus ‘leven or so

  40. Dick Morris refused to eat crow
    He’s been wrong umpteen times in a row
    But for him to admit
    That he’s been full of sh#t
    Would compel him cojones to grow

  41. A fellow refused to eat crow
    For a very good reason, he’d show
    Both his foot and a bird
    In his mouth, was absurd
    Clearly, one of the two had to go

  42. A woman refused to eat crow
    For the row that she’d chosen to hoe
    And she carried with grace
    Every line in her face
    While she reaped every seed that she’d sow

  43. Kirk Miller says:

    Ornithologist often would crow
    When he fought a black bird full of woe.
    Since the bird that he fought
    Was off course and distraught,
    He had fought a lost caws, don’t you know.

  44. Kirk Miller says:

    “There’s a raven that’s dead down below,”
    Said the vulture. The eagle said, “No,
    You are wrong as can be.”
    So they flew down to see,
    And the vulture was forced to eat crow.

  45. Hoot Gibson says:

    A poet who refused to eat crow
    Said, “It takes a lot of time, you know…
    There’s the feath’s claws, and beak
    (It could take a week,)
    And I’ve got places to go.”

  46. Charley Simmons says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    Felt wronged by her obnoxious beau
    “If I’m wrong you prove that
    And I”ll then eat my hat”
    Then kicked his butt out in the snow.

  47. Charley Simmons says:

    A rooster too often would crow
    All night ‘neath the moon’s silver glow
    The farmer, a sleepless wreck
    Grabbed him by his scrawney neck
    To dinner the neighbors did go.

  48. Emma says:

    A woman would frequently crow
    That her man never did show
    How much he loved her
    He n’er bought her no fur
    So he found a more grateful ho

    Crowing Woman

  49. Tom Harris says:

    A woman would frequently crow
    About the assets of her beau.
    She said you’d be wowed,
    The way he’s endowed.
    “Just look at the size of his toe.”

  50. Tom Harris says:

    A fellow refused to eat crow.
    Said the fowl was causing his woe,
    Some was urinary
    The rest coronary:
    He didn’t have the heart to go.

  51. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An Arab would frequently crow
    Of his prowess at fucking and so
    He’d say, “Women are fine,
    and gays are divine,
    but a good looking camels the go.

  52. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A Spermatazoa did crow
    He was picked from the seminal flow
    But what he didn’t say
    Was it all went astray
    And down someone’s throat he did go.

  53. A woman refused to eat crow
    When she knew she was in the know
    When the boys all got fussy
    And called her a “hussy”
    She told them that they could self-blow.

  54. scott says:

    A fellow refused to eat crow,
    For statements fallacious and low,
    Yes, Todd Akin’s word,
    About rape was absurd,
    His loss was legitimate though.

  55. Tim James says:

    A seamstress refused to eat crow
    When she bungled a woman’s trousseau.
    The bride, quite undone,
    Filed a suit, which she won
    Thereby proving you reap what you sew.


    A fellow refused to eat crow
    Despite all the facts that we know
    An obvious error
    Caused him no terror
    It was all just a part of the show

  57. Johanna Richmond says:

    Mitt Romney refused to eat crow;
    He denied his unnatural glow.
    When, despite spray-on tan,
    Folks of color scoffed, Ann
    Cried,”You people should know he’s no faux!”

  58. Rich (In Name Only) in Reno says:

    A woman would frequently crow
    That her man bought her diamonds to show
    His undying devotion
    Was as deep as the ocean
    But they proved to be glass; what a blow.

  59. Johanna Richmond says:

    LaPierre just refused to eat crow,
    Seized the moment to let parents know
    If they want their kids whole
    They’d be wiser to dole
    Out more cash than to let gun sales slow.

  60. A woman would frequently crow
    That SHE could make anything grow,
    Not only her plants
    But also men’s pants
    And fellows she knew swore ’twas so!

  61. A woman would frequently crow
    That SHE dressed in rags, not for show.
    When looked at askance
    She relished each glance
    And hoarded ‘most all of her dough.

  62. A woman would frequently crow
    Of wealth that she’d someday bestow
    And jewels so rare
    They tempted each heir.
    Who murdered her? Read book to know!

  63. And just for fun…

    A women would often be crow-
    Ing that she had great wealth for bestow-
    Ing, with ingots to spare
    Thus her heirs didn’t care
    When she passed away without know-

  64. Johanna Richmond says:

    A professor who hates to eat crow
    When his students sneer, “You didn’t know…?”
    Now gives thanks for his lap
    Where a well-concealed app
    Whispers “Just swipe my screen to and fro…”

  65. JulesPaige says:

    A fellow would frequently crow
    Braggin’ on his ‘Deer’ he’d use to mow
    His lawn was the best
    ‘till drought won the test
    And now this John’s tools are so-so.

  66. A man who refused to eat crow
    Was strung up in a tree by his toe
    All she wanted to hear
    Was ‘I’m sorry my dear’
    Now the grass looks much greener below.

  67. A chicken would frequently crow
    ‘I’m the cock of the walk don’t you know’
    Said her sister ‘But, Megs,
    You’d far better lay eggs,
    Or into the pot you will go!’

  68. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    A fellow would frequently crow:
    “The marriage game’s mere tick-tack-toe!”
    And with each winning stroke
    The scoundrel went broke—
    His exes were all in a row.

  69. Steve Earp says:

    A raven was mocked by a crow
    “You don’t know Mark Twain from van Gough”
    But the crow could have cried
    When the raven replied
    “Have you been the subject of Poe?”

  70. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A Fox Hunter would frequently crow
    Of his technique when shagging a Pro
    When climax is nigh
    Instead of a sigh
    He shouts “Yoiks”and then “Tallyho”

  71. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A dusky lass would frequently crow
    Re effect hormones had down below
    Brown thighs and right there
    Long thick black hair
    Hanging right down to her toe.

  72. kaykuala says:

    A fellow refused to eat crow
    Thought he could put in more
    Showed his prowess
    In trying to impress
    But fell flat with nothing to show


  73. A fellow enjoyed eating crow.
    “It’s tasty with stuffing you know.”
    But there was no question
    It caused indigestion.
    Gas-fired, all systems said GO!

  74. Sue Dulley says:

    A fellow would frequently crow
    That he was too manly to sew.
    With clothes he’d been wearing
    That needed repairing
    It’s off to his momma’s he’d go.

  75. Tim James says:

    Election Night Follies

    Karl Rove just refused to eat crow
    On the Channel of News that is Faux.
    He aimed his derision
    At the guys in Decision.
    In the end, he came off like a schmo.

  76. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A fussy young bridegroom did crow
    That in semen he never would wallow
    So he ordered new wife
    For the rest of her life
    To just give him head and then swallow

  77. Gary Hallock says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    But a lass, as most men surely know
    Will often not eat
    The sort of raw meat
    That might cause their thigh sighs to grow

  78. Edmund Conti says:

    A cohort would frequently crow
    “I just won the Limerick-off, Bro!”
    Did I come to a boil?
    No, I smiled and said, “Doyle,
    No way that I’ll go toe-to-toe.”

  79. Edmund Conti says:

    A classmate would frequently crow
    About his next great Tell-and-Show.
    I said, “What the hell,
    It’s called Show-and-Tell.”
    That’s how we talked: fro-and-to.

  80. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow would frequently crow
    Of the words that he knew meaning “snow”
    In Chinese and Greek
    And from South Martinique
    And oddly though, not Eskimo.

  81. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young nympho would frequently crow
    Of her prowess in bed with her beau
    At the sight of his bum
    Five times she would come
    Then lost count when his leg he did throw

  82. lessandra says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    When she preened ’bout her fabulous ‘fro
    Even though it dropped off
    When she happened to cough
    And fell in the soup of her beaux

  83. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow would frequently crow.
    A clear case of braggadocio.
    He boasted and brayed.
    And once, I’m afraid,
    He counted to ten just for show.

  84. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow would frequently crow
    That he loved that French dish, escargot.
    When I said, “That’s a snail,”
    He turned three shades of pale
    Excusing himself, “I must go.”

  85. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow would frequently crow
    Of his skill in the game, tick-tack-toe.
    While he lined up his x’s
    I offered that sex is
    Much more to the point. He said ooo.

  86. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A Loony to a Farmer did crow
    “You put manure on rhubarb, why so”?
    Then went on to say,
    “In our Shelter come and stay,
    We put custard on ours, don’t you know.

  87. A corn-loving vegan was crow
    Who could fly to where best kernels grow.
    He’s unlike flattened raven
    Slain by roadkill-meat cravin’.
    Paths of gory lead but to below.

  88. Edmund Conti says:

    A fighter would frequently crow
    How he beat up Ali blow-by-blow
    But a right to the jaw
    From said Ali MacGraw
    Put an end to his side-splitting show.

  89. Mark Kane says:

    A woman would frequently crow
    Of her talent, she’d start nice and slow
    With a fluttering flick,
    Then more than a lick,
    In no time he’d thicken and grow.

  90. Mark Kane says:

    The G.O.P. frequently crow
    How they fight for the average white Joe.
    In fact that’s not true.
    They’ll gladly screw you,
    When given the right sum of dough.

  91. I’ll gist you of a fellow who loves to eat crows
    He arrived home early one night
    To his utter amazement
    As he went to fix things in his cluttered basement
    He beheld with fright
    The souls of crows
    He had murdered without rights
    Wailing for justice with all their might
    To get a juicy bite
    Of his hideous hide

  92. A pompous lady loves to crow
    To her friends
    That she only wears Jimmy choo
    From head to toe
    One day I stopped by at the departmental store
    And guess who I saw?
    My pompous miss
    Wearing three dollar shades
    She forgot to remove the label
    I wrote her a limerick by night fade
    Yet she paid and sued me for libel

  93. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    My little dog will never eat crow
    I’m sure if he did it would show
    him like eating fried chicken
    would taste better than lick’n
    his balls ,his arse or his toe.

  94. Carolyn Henly says:

    An Englishman ventured to crow:
    “On the links I’m surpassingly pro!”
    He bet ten thousand pounds
    And then lost ten straight rounds.
    Now he’s eating his quid-less pro crow.

  95. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    A blowhard who wouldn’t eat crow
    Was convinced he was someone you’d know—
    So much that he coughed
    An objection (though soft)
    When the coroner tagged him “John Doe.”

  96. Dr. Goose says:

    A woman refused to eat crow
    When she bombed on a big talent show.
    She began her audition,
    In a break with tradition,
    By whispering “How does it go?”

  97. Dr. Goose says:

    Lance Armstrong had to eat crow
    With Oprah, as all of you know,
    And admit he was juiced
    On the streets of Toulouse
    As well as the hills of Bordeaux.

  98. Dr. Goose says:

    When Armstrong was married to Crow
    She would ask what he thought of her show.
    “Well Sheryl,” said Lance,
    “While doping in France,
    I would whistle your tunes on the go.”

  99. Dr. Goose says:

    “I guess I will have to eat crow,
    As it seems I was just a bit slow,
    With my ‘girlfriend’,” said Manti,
    “To wonder why can’t I,
    At some point, convince her to show?”

  100. Dr. Goose says:

    Republicans has to eat crow
    When they said that illegals should go.
    It turns out a few
    Had relatives who
    Helped reelect President O.

  101. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    Old Fitz about his Limericks did crow
    But at Pearly Gates St Peter said, “No
    “I don’t want to be unkind
    But with your filthy mind
    You deserve to go straight down below.”

  102. A woman refused to eat crow
    A character weakness? P’rhaps so
    But inconsequential
    To her existential
    And meaningless wait for Godot

  103. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 97.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun, because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Coming Clean About Limericks.