Limerick Truck (Limerick-Off Monday)

Since Halloween is almost here, I’m offering you an alternative: You may write a limerick related to Halloween, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Halloween limerick.

And now, getting back to my regular Sunday challenge: It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was driving a truck…*

or

A woman was planning to truck…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Truck Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was driving a truck
Got stuck in some very deep muck.
Then he ran out of gas,
Slipped and fell on his ass.
Seems that fellow was flat out of luck.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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90 Responses to “Limerick Truck (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Bob Kennedy says:

    With a bike and a car and a truck,
    In this mud once again I am stuck
    I should be much more mobile
    Than I am, by a big mile
    After floods, once again I’m amuck!

  2. Craig says:

    A fellow was driving a truck,
    And ran in to a bit of bad luck
    (This lim is the worst,
    But at least I’ll be first
    In the use of the rhyming word … oh never mind.)

  3. P Diane Schneider says:

    A fellow was driving a truck
    For a farmer who had hay to buck
    But the driver was wary
    So much hay to carry
    The gasoline truck really sucked

  4. kaykuala says:

    A man who was driving a truck
    Passing some marshes he got stuck
    Cursed his luck
    Situation sucked
    Better off somewhere playing pucks

    Hank

  5. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A man who tried driving a truck
    Had found himself down on his luck;
    Drank too much at a bar,
    Was unlocking his car:
    Out she walked, and a bargain was struck.

    She would drive him to Denver that night
    Just in time for his 9 a.m. flight,
    But they had time before that.
    She purred, “Babe, I’m called Cat.”
    He stroked her: it somehow felt right.

  6. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A man fired from driving his truck
    Muttered loudly, “I don’t give a f_ck.”
    He proceeded to drink
    Way too much (what’d you think?):
    That’s why Chuck struck the buck — piss-poor luck.

  7. Mark Kane says:

    On vacation we rode in a truck
    or a boat, cuz they called it a “Duck.”
    One hell of a ride,
    Till we entered low tide,
    Then we found ourselves stuck in the muck.

  8. John Sardo says:

    A man who was driving a truck
    Drove it into to a pile of muck
    The truck took a dip
    And started to flip
    Upside down in the muck it got stuck.
    .
    The man who was driving the truck
    Hit a streak of terrible luck
    In a spot that was dire
    Still stuck in the mire
    He felt like a prize winning schmuck.
    .
    The man who was driving the truck
    Was hunting for wild geese and duck.
    Now down in the pit
    In the yuck he would sit.
    When a duck with some pluck honked yuk yuk.

  9. Fred Bortz says:

    That hen farmer loves his old truck,
    Insists that it brings him good luck.
    Observe his devotion
    To “Poultry in Motion”
    And its engine that goes putt-putt-cluck.

  10. colonialist says:

    ‘A man who was driving a truck’
    As first line, has got me well stuck -
    I have to refuse,
    Or suffer abuse,
    A rhyme-word with ‘f’ in to tuck!

    A woman was planning to truck
    Her cattle, but this came unstuck,
    They wouldn’t be crated
    As anticipated,
    And so the whole herd ran amuck.

  11. colonialist says:

    I doubt anyone is going to top that one of Fred Borz!

  12. Judith H. Block says:

    A man who was driving a truck
    Was late and in traffic was stuck,
    Promptness compelled,
    And so he yelled,
    “Move, you incompetent schumcks!”

  13. Fred Bortz says:

    A first draft of a Hallowe’en story. Editorial suggestions appreciated.

    Bob Cratchit’s boss loved Hallowe’en.
    It suited his penchant for “mean.”
    But then Marley’s ghost
    Declared, “‘Neezer, you’re toast.
    It’s time to stop venting your spleen.”

    This once was a Christmastide tale,
    But now how can anyone fail
    To notice the halls
    Of thousands of malls
    Are decked out for pre-Yuletide sale?

    If Dickens were writing today
    What oath would he want Scrooge to say
    To a young trick-or-treater?
    At his door, he would greet her
    With “This trick’s on you. Go away!”

  14. Truck? TRUCK? Oh, lord, I’m not going to touch that one just yet.

    Until I can get my find out of the gutter, here are three Halloween limericks:

    i.
    Our lives it would truly enrichen
    If more vampires were found in the kitchen.
    Sure, the vampires of Forks
    Were incredible dorks,
    But Count Spatula? That would be bitchin’!

    ii.
    When my Creature was wedded, I cried
    (So did Dracula, and Mr. Hyde).
    Something old? Something new?
    Something borrowed and blue?
    Why, that’s how I created the Bride!

    iii.
    When the zombie apocalypse drains
    Us of blood and devours our brains,
    I’m willing to bet
    The Tea Party will get
    Some enormous electoral gains.

  15. *mind.

    Pardon my Mreudian Slip.

  16. Fred Bortz says:

    colonialist,

    From your lips to Mad Kane’s ears.

  17. I’m serious. I’ll have no truck
    With those who for clean rhymes are stuck.
    If you think for a bit
    That I’m down with that shit,
    Motherfucker, you’re shit out of luck!

  18. (Out-of-competition, but a retelling of a very old joke)

    The first boy, who came in a Ford,
    Asked, “Where is my girlfriend adored?
    I’m going with Betty
    To get some spaghetti,
    And then go to church. Praise the Lord!”

    The second showed up in a Chevy.
    He told me, “I’m here to get Evvie.
    And I promise you, sir,
    My devotion to her
    Is a duty both solemn and heavy.”

    The third boy drove up in a van,
    And said, “I am here to get Ann.
    We’ll go dancing, and then
    We’ll be back home by ten,
    And I’ll treat her the best that I can.”

    My youngest awaited her date.
    She sat ’til a quarter past eight.
    Then, as poor Ellie crept
    To her bedroom and wept,
    I got out my shotgun to wait.

    Then, two hours later, came Chuck,
    Who parked on the lawn with his truck.
    Disheveled and smelly,
    He hollered, “Where’s Ellie?
    I hope that she’s ready to…”
    (… BLAM!)

  19. tom impelluso says:

    Replace pervious… I sent in the one without the HER

    On the side of the road was a truck.
    So he stopped for a hose for a suck.
    He saw her morass,
    And siphoned some gas.
    As one, they make love now — what luck.

  20. I’ve merchandise left on the truck.
    I just can’t unload it. I’m stuck –
    Yes, stuck with the stock,
    Because who wants a clock
    Where the cuckoo’s replaced by a duck?

  21. Sue Dulley says:

    My stuff all arrived on the truck,
    My floors are now covered in muck.
    This story’s not fiction,
    A self-contradiction -
    The vacuflo here doesn’t suck.

  22. Sue –

    It sucks when the suck doesn’t suck.
    When muck in the pipeline gets stuck,
    I peer in, like a dunce,
    And it gives way at once…
    And I end up all covered in yuck.

  23. (out-of-competition; plural)
    Mid-shutdown, some drivers of trucks
    Caused the capitol headaches deluxe:
    They protested, you see,
    Their required MPG
    By driving in circles. What schmucks.

  24. The immigrant hid in a truck
    And over the border he snuck,
    Lured by promise of wealth
    And good care for his health…
    You guessed it. He’s now a Canuck.

  25. Many of you will probably guess these references to a classic Halloween movie:

    Ben got to the farm in his truck
    And found Barbara coming unstuck.
    While trying to hide
    From the menace outside,
    At the top of the stairs they found… yuck.

    –and–

    Tom and Judy went off in the truck.
    At the gas pump, they ran out of luck.
    The gas going boom
    Meant not only their doom:
    The others, surrounded, were stuck.

  26. Bruce Niedt says:

    A fellow who drove his corn truck
    to a rest stop one night had some luck,
    when he met a hot gal
    who said, “Come on, pal,
    it isn’t your ears that I’ll shuck!”

  27. Bruce Niedt says:

    And two Halloween limericks:

    “A Halloween full moon is neat,”
    thought the werewolf, “I’ll go trick-or-treat!
    They’ll think it’s a mask,
    so they won’t even ask–
    I’ll come home with a bag full of meat!”

    A pumpkin from Kalamazoo,
    Jack-O-Lantern he wished to be, too.
    But he looked like a squash,
    so he got the ki-bosh,
    now he’s part of a vegetable stew.

  28. Bruce Niedt says:

    Edit on #2 above:

    Said a pumpkin from Kalamazoo,
    “Jack-O-Lantern I wish to be, too!”
    But he looked like a squash,
    so he got the kibosh,
    now he’s part of a vegetable stew.

  29. yt cai says:

    Up to rubble pulled the firetruck
    The night that the lightning struck
    Their subscription fee
    Due last week you see
    Was a dumb way to burn up a buck

  30. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was driving a truck;
    It rained: she was stuck in the muck.
    A guy slowly drove by,
    Winked and gave her the eye –
    “Hey, I’ll get you unstuck, for a *uck.”

    She winked back, replied, “Tallahassee,
    You jerk: you can just kiss my [chassis]!”
    Soon the triple A tow
    Truck pulled up (driver, Joe).
    Truck unstuck, they had dinner, got sassy.

  31. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A couple brayed they’d have no truck
    With them aliens, down on their luck;
    They ain’t good Christians, no,
    He’s a drunk, she’s a ho.
    Next day, church: they threw in a whole buck.

  32. yt cai says:

    Her movers pulled out with their truck
    Under the cover of night they struck
    They took everything
    Including the bling
    His lawyer was one f’ing schmuck

  33. Tom Harris says:

    Mr. Macho driving the truck,
    A big burly teamster named Chuck.
    He looks just like a thug,
    But show him a bug
    And screams loud and yells, “Ewww yuck!”

  34. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Donkey Xote inspected a truck;
    Tilting, windmilled his arms, puzzling Chuck,
    The young dealership salesman.
    “Mr. Xote, you do plan
    To purchase today?” “Yes. No. Stuck!”

  35. yt cai says:

    The redneck in his pick-up truck
    With a gun rack and a dead buck
    Drove off to the bar
    But didn’t get far
    No engine for this Dynasty Duck

  36. To drive off at dawn in your truck
    To hunt for a goose or a duck
    For your family feed
    Sure takes *something*, indeed:
    Not courage, exactly, but… pluck.

  37. Kirk Miller says:

    In a field, gal stepped down from her truck;
    Four leaf clover on ground she did pluck.
    Knew that it would bring grief
    If she ironed the leaf,
    Because then she’d be pressing her luck.

  38. Kirk Miller says:

    When an architect drove his small truck
    Filled with blueprints through mud, he got stuck
    In a quagmire, and so
    When the truck wouldn’t go,
    He exclaimed, “All my plans are amuck!”

  39. Kirk Miller says:

    A horny young gal in a truck
    Said to men with incredible luck,
    “I enjoy giving head,
    So let’s jump into bed.”
    (Heads of lettuce; the bed of her truck.)

  40. Kirk Miller says:

    The young man sits alone in his truck.
    He feels horny, his feelings amuck.
    His stiff, rock-hard gland
    Is the matter “at hand.”
    What he needs is a “stroke” of good luck.

  41. Kirk Miller says:

    When Ray Charles shot a duck from his truck,
    Its feathers he quickly did pluck.
    All Ray’s friends said, “My word!
    How’d you bring down that bird?”
    He replied, “It was simply blind luck.”

  42. Kirk Miller says:

    I admire how that gal in the truck
    Keeps her eyebrows. It’s more than just luck.
    I imagine, you see,
    That some courage is key,
    ‘Cause it surely must take lots of pluck.

  43. Kirk Miller says:

    When I drive to the woods in my truck
    To hunt deer, I use shells that don’t suck.
    I use shells that are loud.
    The results make me proud
    ‘Cause I get the most bang for my buck.

  44. Kirk Miller says:

    He drives to play golf in his truck.
    At golfing he really does suck.
    Can’t believe what he’s done;
    He just made hole-in-one.
    It’s considered a stroke of good luck.

  45. P Diane Schneider says:

    Some call it the Day of the Dead
    And give candy skeleton heads
    they decorate altar
    To please Tio Walter
    And make sure the spirits are fed.

  46. Quinn Shands says:

    A man who was driving a truck
    at lunchtime had only a buck.
    Tuna fish with mayonnaise
    had sure seen better days.
    Truck stop sandwich turned into upchuck!

  47. A woman who was reversing a truck
    Let her sex-drive determine her luck
    As she leered at a man
    In an unmarked, white van
    Whose expression was clearly dumbstruck

  48. Tim James says:

    A woman was planning to truck
    Through a speed-date event and, with luck,
    Find the man of her dreams.
    But this lady, it seems,
    Looked for sirloin but found only chuck.

  49. Craig says:

    His blind date, though as big as a truck,
    Let him know she was up for a {quickie}.
    But the guy was so thin
    He done slipped and fell in,
    So I guess they’re now both outta luck.

  50. This one makes no sense at all, but it’s fun to say:

    On a trek on the track of a truck
    Through the Outback — alone — set out Buck.
    An old tracker trick
    Made Buck’s truck tracking quick:
    The quack of a crack tracker duck!

  51. In Truckee I purchased a truck
    From a trucker who’s down on his luck.
    I made it from Truckee
    As far as Kentucky,
    And that’s when calamity struck.

    The wheels all fell off of the truck.
    I’ve no brakes, and the gas pedal’s stuck.
    To make matters worse,
    It just runs in Reverse…
    Boy, that trucker in Truckee’s a schmuck.

  52. Pat Hatt says:

    A woman was driving a truck
    When she came upon a schmuck
    He was rather spry
    For a fat guy
    But still he was s*** outta luck

  53. Craig says:

    I got cookies from guys dressed like genies,
    And some Snickers® from girls in bikinis.
    But I didn’t want food
    From that politics dude –
    Carlos Danger was handing out weenies.

  54. brian miller says:

    a man who was driving a truck
    dressed up like a big yellow duck
    got in a wreck
    cop said what the heck
    when all he could quack was *uck

  55. Bjorn says:

    There once was a tired old pumpkin
    and everyone thought him a bumpkin
    but at Halloween
    so silent his sheen
    was made into pie and a lantern

    Sorry for the slant rhyme at the end… but it had to do..

  56. she waved down a man in a truck
    told him she was down in her luck
    they drove hundreds of miles
    shared stories and smiles
    by nightfall the two were moonstruck

    a woman was planning to truck
    cross country when plans ran amuk
    hiker joe flagged her down
    with an invite to his town
    she discerned this was her good luck

    a woman who drove a chick truck
    met a man with a cart load of ducks
    they quacked and they squawked
    while the poor man did walk
    piled in the truck to still clucked

  57. Victoria says:

    Just had to stop by for a dose a humor after reading a number of poems about bullying. You never let me down.

  58. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A smart hooker had a covered in truck
    Fitted out to make her a buck
    With a strong double bed
    While her business card read
    “Have Brothel, Will Travel” – for F..k

  59. Ha. I relate to this poor sap only too well. “Been down so long, it looks like up to me!” cackle.

  60. Kirk Miller says:

    Halloween store decides to take action,
    And they get what they want: good reaction.
    Though you might think it’s droll,
    They have only one goal:
    It is costumer satisfaction.

  61. Kirk Miller says:

    I’m spreading the Halloween news
    Concerning which party to choose.
    Mine’s bound to be dandy
    With free food and candy,
    But people should bring their own boos.

  62. Kirk Miller says:

    “Anonymous writers don’t like
    The wages they’re offered,” said Mike.
    “If they don’t get more green,
    Then on this Halloween
    The ghost writers threaten to strike.”

  63. Kirk Miller says:

    On Halloween all the REAL ghosts
    Are trying to be gracious hosts,
    So at sunset they head
    To their four poster bed
    And in darkness they take up their posts.

  64. Kirk Miller says:

    At a pep rally, ghosts are exquisite.
    When they cheer, people really do hear it.
    Every goblin and ghoul
    Has morale for its school.
    They’re imbued with a lot of school “spirit.”

  65. Kirk Miller says:

    There once was a man named Hector,
    A really good ghost detector.
    He is known very well
    Where he works, a hotel
    That claims he is their Inn Specter.

  66. Kirk Miller says:

    Ghosts usually are quite cheery.
    Whenever their spirits get dreary,
    Inspectres have found
    To turn moods around,
    They go for a swim in Lake Eerie.

  67. shanyn says:

    A man who was driving a truck
    happy and thinking, just my luck!
    Another tailgate to follow.
    no thinking now or t’morrow.
    Nose to tail all go down – stuck!

    (a joke of my husband’s friend about gravel truck drivers – if you had a tail gate floating in a lake they would all follow it in because they love to follow the truck in front of them without thinking much!)

  68. Jim says:

    With Corrected Link:

    Good driver, bad driver

    A man who was driving a truck
    In the gooey mud he was stuck
    He called for his dear wife
    She said not on his life
    Stuck in muck, he was out of luck

    And,

    A Halloween Limerick

    Ghosts and goblins, gorillas too
    Oh dear oh dear, what will we do?
    You call 911
    Tell what’s being done
    Cheers! Happy Halloween to you

    And,

  69. THREE MORE HALLOWEEN LIMERICKS

    i.
    In the night came undead Nosferatu!
    His victim kept begging him nottu.
    She cried, “Mr. Schreck,
    Don’t drink blood from my neck!”
    Shrugged the vampire, “I’m sorry. I gottu”.

    ii.
    Poor Edward’s unbeating heart sank.
    Even Jacob the wolf drew a blank.
    Bella went with the kid
    With a head like a lid
    And the bolts in his neck. Go Team Frank!

    iii.
    On Thursday the kids Trick or Treat,
    And we give them nice candy to eat.
    But the neighbor’s kid, Rick?
    When he comes, we shout, “TRICK!”
    And throw eggs at him. Turnabout’s sweet.

  70. John Ramos says:

    A positive thinker named Steve
    Stalked his victims on All Hallows’ Eve;
    “To you, it’s an ax,”
    He explained between whacks,
    “But to me, it’s a goal to achieve.”

  71. John Ramos says:

    A feisty young witch had a jones
    To excite her erogenous zones.
    One night, feeling naughty,
    She dug up a body
    And, counting to three, jumped its bones.

  72. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Well it’s that time of the year to act mean
    For today Ween arrives on the scene
    With his Goblins and Elves
    And bloodcurdling yells
    We all greet with the words, “Hallo Ween”

  73. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Made a blue again it should have read :

    For tomorrow Ween arrives on the scene!

  74. John Ramos says:

    A headache-prone woman named Jane
    Sought Frankenstein’s cure for migraine.
    She went to the doctor,
    Who in a room locked ‘er
    And cheerfully scooped out her brain.

  75. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Clarke Gable drove a well laden truck
    Through a twister but ran out of luck
    Before he could rescind
    Load was Gone With The Wind
    Instead of Damn! he said, “I Don’t Give a F..k”

  76. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Robin Hood on the seat of his truck
    Had Maid Marianne trying his luck
    While the rest of his crew
    And Friar Tuck too
    All watched their boss Try a F..k.

  77. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    The Jolly Swagman drove his old truck
    To the Billabong to meet his Jumbuck
    Neath the Coolibah tree
    Where long ago he
    Had found her and had his first f..k.

  78. Mark Kane says:

    On dirt roads you best drive a truck,
    Unless you would like to get stuck.
    But with NO cellphone service,
    And your date who is nervous,
    You could find yourself “Shit Out of Luck.”

  79. One ‘Eyed Luck

    While walking for gas, he was struck.
    Lying along the road along came a duck
    Suddenly he was, this is crass
    Thinking duck stew, what a mass
    Along came the crew, oh, one ‘eyed luck!

    Well it is October!

  80. John Ramos says:

    A financial consultant named Dave
    Was interred in a premature grave.
    “This isn’t ideal,”
    He thought, “but get real–
    Just think of the money I’ll save!”

  81. Gary Hallock says:

    A man was once driving a truck
    Downhill when a large tree, he struck
    He lost his large load
    Of hens on the road
    Result, he was shift out of cluck

  82. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A Shit Carter who was driving his truck
    When his knapsack fell into the muck
    Said, “To find it I’ll try”
    And when they asked him, “Why?”
    Said, “My sandwiches made with roast duck.”

  83. Craig says:

    I think All Hallows’ Eve is quite dandy,
    And at carving up pumpkins I’m handy.
    But the night came and went,
    ‘Twas a rained-out event. –
    Now I’m stuck with a shitload of candy.

  84. Tim James says:

    A Halloween Observation

    I’m having some trouble adjusting
    To the costumes for which kids are lusting:
    A zombie, flesh rotted…
    A vampire, mouth clotted…
    A Congressman?! That’s just disgusting.

  85. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Digusting but how true Tim

  86. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    A croc said that she’d have no truck
    With a toothless old muckety-muck:
    “When the waterfowl light
    And the time’s right to bite
    A good man has his rows in a duck.”

  87. Kel Nagel says:

    A man who was driving a truck
    Found a hitchhiking beauty-what luck
    She said with a glance
    Put that back in your pants
    I just want to ride not to f***

    Some can write truck rhyming limericks, but not I
    Kel

  88. Kel Nagel says:

    I meant writing them without f-bombs
    Kel

  89. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Halloween Limerick Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners:
    Limerick of the Week 138.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Strips.