1996 Humor Column About Underwear Shopping With My Mom

Thanks to all of you for your kind emails, comments, and Twitter tweets about my mother’s death. I really appreciate it!

In my mother’s honor, I’m posting a 1996 humor column she inspired during happier (and funnier) times:

Secret Shopper
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“I’m not going in there. No way. Forget it.”

My seventy-something mother’s stance was as rigid as her words; arms folded across her chest, unyielding legs pointed away from the shop I’d just suggested.

She and I had spent the entire afternoon combing through three department stores for the definitive pair of panties. Or at least my mom’s idea of same. This illusive undergarment had to be loose, comfortable, 100% cotton, and totally devoid of lace. And that was just for starters. It also had to completely cover my mother’s hips and come in a large size, the exact number of which she resolutely refused to disclose. … (Secret Shopper is continued here.)

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One Response to “1996 Humor Column About Underwear Shopping With My Mom”

  1. Steve Bates says:

    Ah, yes… Victorious Egret. My only objection to the one in The Village in Houston (no relation to The Village in NY, or the virtual one in DC) is that periodically one of their clerks sprays the outdoor sidewalk area with some sort of icky-sweet scent. Is that supposed to make anyone want to buy lingerie? It makes me want to grab Stella by the hand and drag her with me as I flee the street, no matter what garment she may have wanted to buy!

    Thanks, Mad, for sharing the fond memory of an experience with your Mother.