Limerick Grub (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was grabbing some grub…*


A fellow would frequently grub…*


A scientist studied a grub…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Grub
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A cabby was grabbing some grub
At a bar in a neighboring hub,
When he noticed his eggs
Appeared to have legs.
From now on, he’ll steer clear of this pub.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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50 Responses to “Limerick Grub (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Phyllis L says:

    A fellow was grabbing some grub
    When along came a hungry bear cub.
    The man wouldn’t share
    His grub with the bear.
    Unbearable! Ay, there’s the rub.

  2. gary hallock says:

    If you’re weary of eating bad grub
    You should give all that fast food a snub
    Here’s what you should do
    Grab some great barbecue
    Give your baby’s back rib a good rub

  3. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow was longing for grub
    at a very exclusive nightclub.
    But no one could ignore,
    as he walked through the door,
    he was dressed like a pitiful schlub.

    They threw him out into the night
    Because he looked such a fright.
    He said, “Why these schmucks.
    I’ll come back in a tux.”
    And he did. Then they treated him right.

  4. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Dancing The ‘Stub’

    A gangster was grabbing some grub 
    Gyrating in ‘Rumba Roll’ club 
    When rolling drums rose 
    He suddenly froze 
    He’d swallowed his cigarette stub.

  5. brian allgar says:

    I had found a gargantuan grub
    That was eating my favorite shrub.
    I told myself “Brian,
    A number-six iron”,
    And beat it to death with my club.

  6. brian allgar says:

    A lion was searching for grub
    For himself and his ravenous cub.
    “But I don’t have the skill
    To move in for the kill –
    It’s your mother that’s needed here, bub.”

  7. brian allgar says:

    I was feeling in need of some grub,
    So I strolled to my neighbouring pub.
    But the food was no good,
    I was chewing on wood,
    For the sandwich was made from a club.

  8. brian allgar says:

    A locust, a worm or a grub
    Is a meal many people can’t snub.
    When resources run out,
    I’m afraid there’s no doubt:
    Pretty soon, we’ll be joining the club.

  9. brian allgar says:

    She’d invited me round. Though the grub
    Was a long way from what you might dub
    “Gastronomic”, who cares?
    In the bathroom upstairs,
    For dessert we had sex in her tub.

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    The sleazy reporter would grub
    For some scandal or dirt he could rub
    In the face of his readers;
    He’d libel their leaders,
    Then lunch at the Puritan Club.

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    (Fellow-pedants please note: this is one of the increasingly rare occasions when the word ‘hopefully’ has been used correctly.)

    I had baited my line with a grub,
    And was hopefully fishing for chub.
    Yes! I felt something snatch,
    And I reeled in my catch –
    It was just an old KFC tub.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    Ophelia said “Let’s have some grub,
    ‘Cos I’m starving.” “Of course, tiger-cub”,
    Replied Hamlet, “But first,
    You must deal with my wurst.
    Move your hand like this … Ay! There’s the rub!”

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    My daughter had swallowed a grub.
    When I smacked her, she started to blub.
    “But you said we could eat
    Some nice grub for a treat,
    So why did you give me a drub?”

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    The patients complained of the grub
    In the hospital; each got a tub
    Of grilled kidneys and liver.
    They’d all known the giver,
    Who tasted of surgical scrub.

  15. Brian Allgar says:

    I’d no money to pay for my grub,
    So I hit on the boss for a sub
    Till the following payday,
    But he told me “Mayday!
    I’m broke, just like you – join the club!”

  16. Mark Kane says:

    After camping I needed good grub.
    Sure I stank and should first do a scrub,
    But my stomach was groaning,
    “Feed Me” it was moaning.
    I instead skipped the tub for the pub.

  17. yt cai says:

    In my garbage looking for grub
    Was the cutest black grizzly cub
    I shone the flashlight
    To give it a fright
    But here is where things took a rub

    Its mother asked “what’s up, hey Bub”
    You’re scaring the crap out of my cub
    We like to shit in the woods
    Not in strange neighborhoods
    Then used her large paw as a club

    When I came to it was down at the pub
    My poor head felt light as a Cherub
    Went on home half drunk
    Where my trash can stunk
    And on it was a honey brown schmub

  18. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was grabbing some grub
    Before heading down to the pub.
    But he needed to know
    It was not GMO
    That is the stuff of beelzebub.

  19. Judith H. Block says:

    A scientist studied a grub
    He had caught from under a shrub.
    But to study it well
    And ignorance dispel
    He kept it alive in his tub.

  20. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was grabbing some grub
    And after that, food he would snub..
    It was thereof
    The religion of
    Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

  21. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was grabbing some grub
    In a very high-class nightclub.
    The prices were high
    He let out a sigh.
    He did prefer the local pub.

  22. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was grabbing some grub
    And eyeing gals in the new club.
    He thought they looked sweet,
    But he’d rather eat
    The barmaid in the local pub.

  23. John Sardo says:

    A fellow would frequently grub
    For sex in a steamy hot tub.
    His wife said “Oh no.
    For here I won’t blow.
    But a club in a tub I’ll happily rub.”

  24. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was grabbing some grub
    At a friendly neighborhood pub
    He had just one wish
    To find a fair dish
    Who’d turn into a hot tiger cub.
    A fellow would frequently grub
    For sex at a neighborhood pub
    He at last got his wish
    But she turned out a cold fish
    So instead all he got was a snub.

  25. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was grabbing some grub
    And eyeing gals in the new club.
    He thought they looked chaste
    So he’d rather taste
    The barmaid in the local pub.

  26. Kurt Krueger says:

    I was going to make me some grub
    It was pork with an enticing rub
    But I am to blame
    When the grill turned to flame
    And the meat cinder I had to scrub

  27. Byron Ives says:

    I’m hungry, I need some good grub
    So I grabbed up a shovel and dug
    Found a fat one for free
    It’s just protein you see
    Fried crisp, it goes great with a sub

  28. brian miller says:

    a fellow was grabbing some grub
    then decided to soak in the tub
    and there he got stuck
    but had all the luck
    secret service had butter to rub

    (to our late dear president…ha)

  29. Byron Ives says:

    I was baked, and needed some grub
    So I went down and faced the hubbub
    The party, still goin’,
    Freaks puffin’ and blowin’
    Screw munchies, I blazed me a chub

  30. Jon Gearhart says:

    I guess she was offering grub.
    My girlfriend called me a big schlub.
    “You misunderstood
    When I said that I would
    Fillet, not fellate, for you bub!”

  31. A drunk was once fed some grub,
    By a man name of B. L. Zebub.
    B. L. said, “You fell.
    Now you’ll go to hell.”
    The drunk said,” I’ve been there. My wife’s at the pub.”

    A drunk was once fed some grub,
    By a man name of B. L Zebub.
    “I’ve saved your life.”
    The drunk said, “Don’t tell my wife.
    She gives me hell if I’m not at the pub.”

    Herein is where lies the rub.
    Alcohol gave this man quite a drub.
    So he went to AA,
    But then on the way,
    The devil bought Canadian Club.

  32. Jon Gearhart says:

    As I sat there inspecting the grub
    On my plate in the dimly lit club,
    All the lights were so poor
    That it made my eyes sore.
    I tried not to, but eyes there’s the rub.

  33. Michelle Gordon says:

    A trainer would frequently grub
    on a horse at the old jockey club.
    One day his mount spooked
    then he loudly rebuked,
    landing hard in a thorn-covered shrub.

  34. scott says:

    A fellow was wanting some grub,
    a BLT, burger or sub,
    He finally said, “Bitch,
    just make a sandwich!”
    and ended up getting a Club.

  35. Jon Gearhart says:

    I rowed out to catch fish for my grub
    In a boat that I’d rented. The bub
    That rented it out
    Was a lecherous lout–
    It went down like your mom on my chub!

  36. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    I hear that this tavern serves grub,
    So I’d rather go find a new pub.
    Though I’m thoroughly drunk,
    And I’m not a damned punk,
    Eating larvae is something I snub.

  37. Byron Ives says:

    He left school and brought back some grub,
    Then lunched with the cute fifth grade sub
    He straightened her stencils
    And sharpened her pencils
    Then showed her his Eberhard stub

  38. Byron Ives says:

    They lured him to eat a white grub
    For entrance into their club
    He raised it and leered,
    He swallowed. They jeered.
    A loathsome, premeditated snub

  39. Tim James says:

    A guy, sitting down for some grub,
    Said, “Is this thing a hero, or sub?
    Or a po’ boy? I’ve heard
    It’s a ‘hoagie.’ Strange word.”
    It’s a *sandwich*. Just eat it, you schlub.

  40. Mary JeTrois says:

    At midday I stopped for some grub
    At my neighborhood grill and pub.
    I said, “how is your meat
    So spicy and sweet?”
    And he said, “therein lies the rub”.

  41. John Armstrong says:

    A scientist studied a grub
    And opined on its genus and sub
    “Twas found in tequila,”
    Said the barmaid, Ophelia,
    “You’ve had enough, get out of here, Bub!”

  42. John Armstrong says:

    A fellow was grabbing some grub
    Of egg salad, mustard, and chub
    It drove him insane
    His oath was profane
    And summoned Beezlebub

  43. Byron Ives says:

    Inflation, less moolah, less grub
    Our diminished middle class club
    Can there be any doubt
    Why we voted them out?
    A prodigious, predictable, flub!

  44. Allen Wilcox says:

    A traveller wolfed down some grub
    On an airplane, then started to rub
    His stomach im pain.
    He was hardly insane
    To withdraw from the high flyers club.

  45. Allen Wilcox says:

    A sailor discovered a grub
    Crawling out on a branch of a shrub.
    This shouldn’t astound,
    Except it was found
    Down deep in the bowels of his sub.

  46. Allen Wilcox says:

    As a scientist studied a grub,
    He sang “Rub a dub dub in a tub.”
    He wasn’t sure why,
    But then he was high
    From downing a few at the pub.

  47. Stephen B. Fleming says:

    The pols do rummage and grub
    And swing their vast verbal club.
    “Pick Me! Pick Me!
    You can Trust me.(You’ll see)
    To work in payola’s great hub.”

  48. Fred Bortz says:

    The cowpoke who showed up for grub
    Got much more at Miss Nell’s special club.
    Her gals cured his hanker,
    For which he did thank her.
    Said she, “Where’s my Benjamin, Bub?”

  49. Fred Bortz says:

    Slight improvement:

    The cowpoke who showed up for grub
    Got much more at Miss Nell’s social club.
    Her gals cured his hanker,
    For which he did thank her.
    Said she, “Where’s my Benjamin, Bub?”

  50. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 188.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Stake.