Hick Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who looked like a hick…*

or

A woman who looked like a hick…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Hick Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who looked like a hick
Met a woman who poured it on thick.
But you can’t tell a book
By its cover. It took
Him no time to see right through her schtick.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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77 Responses to “Hick Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Was really quite smart and quite slick.
    When they questioned his brain
    He said ‘Do that again
    And I’ll give you a whack with a stick!’

  2. colonialist says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Became very rich very quick;
    Girls gathered around
    For they quickly found
    It’s wealth over looks they would pick!

  3. Vivek says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Changed women all too quick
    Despite his wanton ways
    He was not short of lays
    Cause he had one hell of a dick

  4. kaykuala says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Thought he would let it stick
    Tried just as hard
    Thought was smart
    Not good enough to make it tick

  5. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Came out of the Deliverance flick
    Heard a banjo play
    Said No Way
    And ran off fearing the dick

  6. A fellow who looked like a hick
    Said “I’ll be your G.O.P. pick…
    Just send me your money…
    And it will always be sunny…
    But you’re S.O.L. if you get sick.”

  7. Hansi says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Was a Perry, by the name of Rick.
    He was nobody’s foil
    Selling that snake oil
    For in reality, he was really quite slick.

  8. brian says:

    a fellow who looked like a hick
    took a hike up the hill by the crick
    tossed in a line
    napped for a time
    the size of his cath’d make you sick

  9. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Was adept with the carrot and stick;
    “On the hill in DC
    Was the college,” said he,
    “Where I learned this political trick.”

  10. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Was overheard scolding a stick:
    “Slim, I’ll whip yer behind,
    You don’t learn to be kind —
    Now go on, kiss your lil sister Brick.”

  11. Veralynne says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Walked into the bank with a stick.
    When they thought it a gun,
    He took off on the run
    Saying, “No, wait! That’s a dirty trick!”

    “I’m not lookin’ for trouble, just cash.
    Thought I’d take a bit outta my stash
    And git me a cane
    With a lion’s head and mane.
    You can calm all your fear and abash.”

    So they did and they gave him his loot.
    He left, proud as a bandicoot.
    Stick still in hand,
    Like the leader of a band,
    He waved ‘bye–the stick subject was moot.

  12. Kathleen Cole says:

    Fashion Victim
    A woman who looked like a hick,
    Hoped fashion could do the trick.
    She bought and bought.
    -Never had the thought,
    She’d be another en vogue ‘vic’!

  13. scott says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick,
    was feeling quite queasy and sick.
    I should be in bed,
    but I sit here instead,
    writing a new limerick.

  14. Michael Blum says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick.
    In truth was the city boy Rick.
    A real cosmopolitan
    With a knack for investin’
    And a valet whose name it was Nick.

  15. J Sardo says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Used butter to make his hair slick
    When he walked in the sun
    He burned like a bun
    In a toaster whose pop up would stick.

  16. Linda H. says:

    Limericks aren’t my strongest form but here goes…

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    met up with a rich city chick.
    He thought he had no chance in hell
    with such a fine mademoiselle,
    but it turned out opposites click.

    (not my original ending but wasn’t sure if the first one would be, uh, “appropriate”….LOL)

  17. jesse levy says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    knew how to do one snappy trick.
    Bobbed his adam’s apple
    while drinking a Snapple
    In time to a metronome’s tick.

  18. A fellow who looked like a hick
    Saw “The Artist,” a popular flick
    He said, “Hey! The sound
    “Is turned all the way down!
    “I want a refund, what the frick?”

  19. Gail White says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Found that women aren’t easy trick,
    Though he wore tighter pants
    In attempts to enhance
    (In profile) the size of his dick.

  20. J Sardo says:

    A woman who looked like a hick
    Applied lipstick from a licorice stick
    It was red as a berry
    Tasted sweet as a cherry
    And made her the guys’ favorite chick..

  21. A fellow who looked like a hick,
    But neither a Mac nor a Mick,
    Wore plaid to disguise
    And hide the surprise
    That he was a hired private dick.

  22. Ira Bloom says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick,
    Was defamed in an internet trick,
    With no shred of decorum.
    (Just google “santorum,”
    To see what they said about Rick!)

  23. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick,
    Was making his play with some chick.
    He said “Babe don’t be nervous,
    I’m here for your service,
    And I promise I’ll never be quick.”

  24. Linda H. says:

    I’ve posted the original ending over on FB on Madeleines post. A bit naughty but funny.

  25. Mark Megson says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Once lit his hair like a wick
    To try and be brighter
    With the help of a lighter
    Now he looks like a candle stick

  26. Apeetha Ravi says:

    How do you write Limericks! I just can’t. ever

    RESPECT. :)

  27. Jane Auerbach says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Proved looks are deceiving: a tick
    Bit my leg on his farm,
    And he warned that the harm
    Could be great ‘less a doc was seen quick.

  28. Jane Auerbach says:

    A poet who looked like a hick
    Cleverly made money quick:
    Selling ads in this space
    Like, “Let’s all bank with Chase!”,
    “Click your Bic” and “Shave smoother with Shick!”

    I wish….

  29. jabblog uk says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Tried to master the three-card trick
    He got in a mess
    And had to confess
    ‘I’m clearly as thick as a brick.’

    A woman who looked like a hick
    Got cross when folk took the mick;
    She hired a life coach
    Now there’s no reproach
    Because she’s a beautiful chick.

  30. laurie kolp says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    with a straw hat to hide his cowlick
    appeared at the stand
    for a woman to brand
    magic potion on his hard dick.

  31. scott says:

    A woman who looked like a hick,
    made my pre-pubescent heart tick.
    She was a virgin, I know,
    ‘cuz she could outrun Jethro.
    Yes, Ellie Mae sure did the trick.

  32. Linda H. says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    was deemed to be mentally sick
    ’cause in drag he dressed,
    a sign on his chest
    that said “kiss the sweet bearded chick”.

  33. A fellow who looked like a (c)hick
    Hair flowing as well as real thick
    I took just one look
    From behind I was hooked
    But his package would not do the trick

  34. Linda H. says:

    J Sardo, you are so funny. Both are great but I love the one with the butter
    :)

  35. sideview says:

    I tried and tried. The one version was unprintable, and the others just didn’t scan.

  36. A fellow who looked like a hick
    Brewed some moonshine that made him feel sick.
    It was made extra strong,
    But it somehow went wrong,
    ‘Cuz he’s blind now and speaks with a tic!

  37. Irv Dean says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Had breath that made most folks go “ick”
    Till he discovered one day
    Mouthwash in a spray
    And thereafter made nobody sick

  38. Sara McNulty says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick,
    Face scarred as if with a stick
    Died on his farm,
    old man with no charm,
    but money buried thick as a brick.

    ————————————————

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Toured the city and became sick
    You can take all your people
    For my country steeple
    Serves me well, though you’re slick, I’m no Vic.

  39. Mama Zen says:

    You always crack me up!

  40. Michael Grove says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    was watching a porno flick.
    He was all through
    just as he grew.
    Like every time that hick was quick.

  41. Michael Grove says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick.
    could not get a date with a chick.
    But he was quite chipper
    when he met a stripper
    and paid her so she’d turn a trick.

  42. G-Man says:

    A fellow that looks like a Hick
    Has a harem of buxom young Chicks
    He isn’t particularly Hung
    But has a rather long Tongue
    And they prefer to be Licked, than be Pricked!

  43. Bone says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Whose father was in politics
    Opposed one, Al Gore
    Won with less votes, not more
    Oy, what a cruel, cruel trick

  44. Neal P says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    built a privy of mortar and brick
    When he bragged to his kin,
    6 or 7 moved in
    Now they do 1 and 2 in the crick

    [ick]

  45. Neal P says:

    A woman who looked like a hick
    had a dog that could learn any trick
    But that pick of the litter
    one day up and bit her
    So she paddled the pooch with a stick

    [no animals were harmed in the writing of this limerick]

  46. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick —
    Good ole Texan whose name wasn’t Rick,
    Tween testicular gland
    And his lasso in hand,
    Weren’t no surplus that dude couldn’t lick.

  47. A fellow who looked like a hick
    (Y’know the type; straw-chewin’, thick)
    Hollered. “Hey man! How DARE-ya-type
    “Such a non-PC ster-ya-type!”
    Now that’s spooky! I’m outta here quick!

  48. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman who looked like a hick
    Show jumping her best pogo stick,
    In the end proved her worth
    Lies in more than her girth —
    You should see that old gal clear a tick.

  49. brian says:

    already spun through once so i will just say, have a nice OLN…smiles.

  50. John Larkin says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    was afraid he appeared to be thick.
    If a man came too near
    and tried to get our boy’s ear,
    he would soon beat him off with a stick.

  51. Robert Schechter says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Was wavering, “Should I back Rick?
    I used to be for him,
    But I looked up Santorum
    On Google, and now I say YICK!”

  52. Robert Schechter says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Was wooing a right purty chick.
    He said, “Ma’am, the nose
    That the Lawd above chose
    When he made you, I also would pick!

  53. Robert Schechter says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Was wondering, “Why not say ‘tick’
    And leave out the ‘tock’?
    What’s the deal with that, clock?”
    (His head had been smashed with a brick).

  54. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow who looks like a hick
    (Stringy hair, overalls, well-sucked pick)
    Winked at me o’er a melon
    Like a ripe, backwoods felon —
    Oops, I stomped your zucchini there, Slick!

  55. Gary Henderson says:

    A woman who looked like a hick,
    Became a Vice President pick.
    Was her campaign just a folly?
    You betcha, by golly!
    And her fame sank as fast as a brick.

  56. Chuck Warn says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Loved ice cream so he took a lick
    Soon his stomach began churning
    And his tongue started burning
    No doubt about it: he was sick.

  57. Kathy El-Assal says:

    Young Tatum who dressed like a hick
    Appeared with her dad in a flick.
    “Paper Moon” was its title
    And her role was vital:
    Abetting his Bible scam trick.

  58. Mark Kane says:

    Newt Gingrich who looks like a hick
    Is famous for one simple trick:
    Selling lies to the crowd,
    As he yells them real loud,
    Then smiling as some of them stick.

  59. Johanna Richmond says:

    Santorum says (aping a hick):
    Education is merely a trick
    To indoctrinate all;
    What he means is “The gall
    Of you joining our one percent clique!”

  60. Wally Cameron says:

    A woman who looked like a hick
    Wished for fame as a beauteous chick.
    So she redid her image,
    Changed shape, dress, and visage,
    And starred in a mind-numbing flick.

  61. Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty) says:

    OK, Mad. In response to your solicitation for yet more LimerICKs. (A variation on a theme, but…)

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Was a-ponderin’ Newt, Mitt, and Rick:
    “Which-a these millionaires
    Can pretend that he cares
    About me? That’s the slicker I’ll pick.”

  62. A. J. Madison says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Picked his nose and proceeded to flick.
    Had he known she was there, and it’d stick in her hair,
    He’d have probably just chosen to lick.

  63. Veralynne says:

    A fella who looks like a hick
    Is selling himself as THE pick
    Anti-war and pro-drugs
    Pro-low tax, anti-thugs…
    He’s a pol–that means just another dick.

  64. Veralynne says:

    A guy who looked just like a hick
    Thought he’d dazzle a gal with his dick,
    When he pulled it out,
    She called him a lout
    And gave his groin one hard, swift kick.

  65. Veralynne says:

    A gent who resembled a hick
    Bore the princely name of Frederick.
    Appearing somewhat uncouth,
    When he opened his mouth
    Proved it! He was thick as a brick!

  66. Veralynne says:

    There was a woman who looked like a hick;
    It was her clothes–they’d not be my pick.
    Puffy sleeves, little bows
    Gingham plaid, heaven knows!
    “New” old-fashioned style, quite a trick!

  67. Veralynne says:

    A woman who looked like a hick
    Made an impression on us that’ll stick.
    Blonde and buxom her style,
    Come-hither eyes and great smile!
    “It’s ‘spensive to look cheap!” is her schtick.

    It’s the music that made her a star
    People know it–those near and those far.
    We hear “I’ll always love you”
    And we KNOW that it’s true!
    We sing along while driving our car.

  68. Veralynne says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Thought he was a PRINCE with a dick.
    A legend in his own mind,
    He avoided all ties that bind
    And died drunk, a lonely old prick.

  69. A fellow who looked like a hick
    Was just trying to impress his chick
    He said,”I’ve got this website that’s cool”
    She said,”You’re such a nerd and a fool
    Your Facebook concept will never stick.”

  70. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick,
    Made jealous hunks crazy and sick.
    When asked why gals love him,
    He said with a broad grin,
    “It’s all how I flutter and flick”.

  71. madkane says:

    What a fun batch of limericks. Please keep them coming.

    Just a heads up that my Limerick Of the Week post and new Limerick-Off post may possibly be late. My net connection’s spotty right now. So while I’ll try to post at the usual time, it may be a problem. Thanks for your patience!

  72. Craig says:

    I’m new to this, and not sure if we should post here as well as Facebook – forgive the double-posting if I’m doing it wrong.

    A fellow who looked like a hick,
    Hit the city and picked up a chick.
    They drunkenly mated
    But his passion abated
    When he found out that chick had a dick.

  73. Doggerelo says:

    A fellow who looked like a hick
    Pretended that he was real sick
    So he called on a nurse
    Who wasn’t adverse
    And went home that night with the chick.

  74. Lois Douthitt says:

    A pirate who looked like a hick
    Couldn’t fool us with his wardrobe trick;
    He invaded our boat
    With a handwritten note
    That ended with: I’ll take yawl (sic).

  75. madkane says:

    Thanks everyone for your delightful limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award winner and the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick of the Week 51.

    But you can still have lots of limerick-writing fun — a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Ginning Up Limericks.

  76. Love reading your limericks, but I am not such a limerick writer. I am a haiku poet. I write Japanese short poems and some other haiku forms.
    But … nevertheless I loved reading this limerick and all the nice ones written in the comments.

  77. madkane says:

    Thanks, Chevrefeuille! I enjoy haiku and will be sure to stop by your blog.