Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LIST or ENLIST at the end of any one line

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LIST or ENLIST at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LAZINESS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LAZINESS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 5, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 4, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

While at work, I created a list
Of reasons I’m listless and pissed.
When it grew rather long,
I blissed out on a bong,
Until caught doing wrong and dismissed.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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115 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LIST or ENLIST at the end of any one line”

  1. Sharon Neeman says:

    New York Times has created a list*
    Of the 300 entities dissed
    By the Great Orange Clown —
    Who should soon be shut down
    With an order to cease and desist!

    * Twitter Insults

  2. A bloke who was regularly pissed
    Developed an unfortunate list.
    It so lead him astray,
    In a circular way,
    That when he fell to the ground, he missed.

  3. Sharon Neeman says:

    No computer for Conrad; instead,
    He did staggering sums in his head!
    All were shocked at the ease —
    Till one teacher snapped “He’s
    Just too lazy to get out of bed.”

  4. Sharon Neeman says:

    Madeleine, you have slightly disgraced
    Yourself, and you’ll soon be red-faced:
    I don’t mean to be arch,
    But the deadline’s in March!
    (You were lazy at copy-and-paste…)

    From MBK: LOL! Sorry for the confusion, and thanks for alerting me. I’ve fixed the dates in my post. (I definitely need to get more sleep. :) )

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    When I think of the dates I have missed,
    All those things left undone, I insist
    I must write them all down,
    But I stop with a frown
    When I reach “Number 1: make a list.”

  6. How do I hate thee? Let me quickly list
    the ways you leave me angry, upset, pissed:
    I hate your freakin’ hair, okay?
    I hate everything you do, and say!
    I’ll hate you till your bigoted ass is dismissed!

  7. Laziness is a VIRTUE. Yes, it’s true!
    The less we do, the less there’s to undo!
    I give as my example Trump:
    that strange, high-energy Heffalump.
    Yes, less is more when Dumbo ass-embles the crew!

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    He was waving his minuscule fist
    As he read out the names on his list.
    “Fake news! They’re all scum!
    But the day will soon come
    When those traitors will cease to exist!”

  9. Bob Dvorsak says:

    Someday Mr. Trump will be missed
    But four years is too far down the list.
    So let’s opt for two
    (Or a half-year might do).
    The voters and media? Pissed.

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    Macbeth has second thoughts

    Said Macbeth, “If ’twere done when ’tis done,
    Then knocking off kings might be fun.
    But it sounds like hard work;
    That’s a thing that I shirk.
    Where’s my wife? … Here’s the knife, honeybun.”

  11. Mike Moulton says:

    President Trump was quite pissed
    When seeing as guests on a list,
    The Congressional Black Caucus,
    “You know they’ll just mock us,”
    Said the white power recidivist.

  12. David Reddekopp says:

    A while ago, I made a list
    Of all of the tasks that I missed
    I would list, one by one
    All the things I had done
    But that list simply doesn’t exist.

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    What a wonderful pair, Brahms and Liszt! *
    Two composers I cannot resist.
    They provide such delight
    Every booze-sodden night …
    * (That’s a Cockney expression for “pissed”)

  14. Sharon Neeman says:

    Farmer Jones had an indolent cat
    Who did nothing but sleep and grow fat.
    She would never catch mice —
    Did she think it’s not nice?
    No, she just was too lazy for that.

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    She ended up with a long list
    Of guys she had dated and kissed.
    The list was much larger,
    Of those she went farther-
    The hot guys she couldn’t resist

  16. Judith H. Block says:

    It seems that we need to enlist,
    Divine powers to get Trump dismissed.
    We know God helps those,
    Who themselves do dispose.
    I know that you do get my gist.

  17. Marty Gerendasy says:

    Tried to name all the guys that she’s kissed.
    It was quite an incredible list.
    She could name several score
    And then quite a few more,
    Not including the ones that she missed!

  18. Sharon Neeman says:

    “Oh, Doctor! This thing on my wrist —
    I think it’s a ganglion cyst!”
    Doc thought, “No, it ain’t;
    It’s only Complaint
    No. 72 on your list!”

  19. Judith H. Block says:

    She felt good with her entry for “list”,
    Then she saw what he wrote- she got pissed.
    Of all topics to choose,
    Why pick HERS, to amuse?
    A taunting he couldn’t resist?

  20. Judith H. Block says:

    I’m really not lazy; I”m tired.
    All the politics makes me hot-wired.
    The stress gets me down,
    Trump’s a threat, not a clown.
    In this crisis, we are all mired.

  21. Marty Gerendasy says:

    The kid tried really hard to resist
    When they tried to get him to enlist.
    But he soon got the shaft
    And got caught in the draft.
    You had better believe he was pissed!

  22. Marty Gerendasy says:

    I’m the guy that they call Gerendasy.
    Lots of people believe that I’m lazy.
    They insist that I’ll shirk
    Any labor or work.
    My response? They have got to be crazy!

  23. Sharon Neeman says:

    A list of words rhyming with “list”?
    I won’t bother with “pissed”, “missed” or “kissed” —
    Hmmm, there’s “cyst”, “fist” and “tryst”,
    “Whist”, “wrist”, “schist”, “gist” and “grist” —
    Now, should I persist, or desist?

  24. Frank Hubeny says:

    The damsel knows something’s not right.
    She’s disgusted when guys want to fight
    So she scratched off her list
    All those knights whom she kissed,
    But that dragon is such a delight.

  25. Ken Gosse says:

    Jest the Gist, Please ~
    Perhaps if I made up a list
    Of the Limericks I try to enlist
    ‘gainst the Trump and his Gang
    (Oh, I wish they’d all hang!)
    I’d get to the heart of the gist.

  26. colonialist says:

    The grandkid set off to enlist
    But was given a slap on the wrist,
    Though thinking it fun
    To go shooting a gun
    She’s too young to have ever been kissed!

  27. Judith H. Block says:

    Much work to do now, I won’t quit.
    Though the ocean’s so lovely, sun-lit.
    Rather laze on the beach,
    Unconcerned, out of reach.
    So want to be there, I’ll admit.

  28. Judith H. Block says:

    She had a quite large Bucket List
    Of things to do, not to be missed.
    She looked at the specs,
    They all involved sex.
    But in travel locales, she’d insist.

  29. colonialist says:

    Right up at the top of the list
    Of those in whose tummy my fist
    I’d like to plant hard
    Is that barrel of lard
    Whose way to the White House did twist.

  30. Sally Franz says:

    Oh 45, you’re on my shit list
    All your Cabinet picks I resist
    Round and round you jerk us
    With your media circus
    As Big Business slams down their fist

  31. P Diane Schneider says:

    I know I’m to get out of bed
    I’m trying but legs feel like lead
    I think I’ll just shirk
    The whole day of work
    Or just work it out in my head

  32. Dave Johnson says:

    Some management suck-ups insist
    On a method to move up the list.
    They’re climbing the charts
    By clinging to parts
    Of executive asses they kissed.

  33. Dave Johnson says:

    “It’s not that I’m lazy,” he said;
    “I can’t seem to get out of bed.”
    With his girlfriend named Nell
    And a film crew as well;
    That’s how he keeps getting ahead.

  34. Judith H. Block says:

    A gal who would go all the way;
    Was a master of naughty foreplay.
    She had a small list
    Of guys she just kissed,
    Despite the horny fellows’ dismay.

    Fran’s paper was tight in Fred’s fist
    As they paused at the threshold, and kissed.
    Now to market he skips
    With a tune on his lips:
    It’s Frederic shoppin’; Fran’s list.

  36. Fred Bortz says:

    How’s a lim like a genome? The gist:
    Both consist of a well-defined list.
    Lims have words; genes have bases
    In specified places,
    And both are tied up with a twist.

  37. Wishful Thinking

    There was a strange dude with a list
    of every gal he’d groped and kissed
    without their consent.
    His black book was sent
    to Congress. He’s since been dismissed!

  38. There once was a lazy-ass pres
    who golfed in a weird orange fez.
    Every drive that he hit
    would end in a fit
    ’cause the ball never does what he says!

    His caddies must do all the work
    as the Donald pretends, with a smirk,
    that he’s well below par.
    Pants-on-Fire, you are!
    But Obama was better, you jerk!

  39. Sharon Neeman says:

    The teacher admonished the boy,
    “Your slothfulness brings me no joy.
    When you come from your Mama’s
    To school in pajamas,
    It really begins to annoy.”

    With a blush and a stammer, he said:
    “I did try wearing school clothes to bed –
    But in pants and a shirt,
    I can’t get at the dirt –
    So I shower in PJs, instead.”

  40. Procrastinate? Me? Heavens, no —
    Although I’m infernally slow,
    The word for my wait
    Should be “Am-crastinate”
    (I’m too lazy to ever go Pro).

  41. Sure, I’m fond of that yellowing Note
    Our political ancestors wrote;
    And good schools. And clean air.
    And a system that’s fair.
    But I just can’t be bothered to vote.

    What’s that? Did you call me a jerk,
    And say that my duty I shirk?
    That I loaf? I malinger?
    I’d give you the finger,
    If lifting it wasn’t such work.

  42. Dave Johnson says:

    Chubby Checker invented the Twist;
    The Moonwalk was top of the list.
    And now we advance
    To the Kellyanne dance;
    Her minuet shouldn’t be missed.

  43. Dave Johnson says:

    He started on top of the list;
    But then was summarily dissed.
    Chris Christie now knows
    What the new Cabinet shows:
    Smooch backsides he shouldn’t have missed.

  44. Perry Plouff says:

    My Lim’ricks grow intimately,
    Then just kind of burst out of me.
    This one grew with with passion,
    Then, after a fashion,
    Sank down to a state of ennui.

  45. Diane Groothuis says:

    A lazy composer named Lizst
    Wrote musical notes on his fist.
    With preludes and sonatas
    Liebestraume and cantatas
    Scribbled tall over his wrist

  46. Fred Bortz says:

    I’m sure that this lim’s gonna win,
    As certain as I’ve ever been.
    Could it lose? I’d say never
    It’s ever so clever.
    Except I’m too lazy to fin.

  47. Tim James says:

    A guy has his shorts in a twist:
    He’s been dating two gals; now they’re pissed.
    He duped Sheila and Anne;
    Now the sh*t’s hit the fan.
    In the Peace Corps he’ll have to enlist.

  48. Brian Allgar says:

    Now, what should I do with my time?
    To waste it would be such a crime.
    Though Everest tempts me,
    My nature exempts me –
    I just can’t be bothered to climb.

  49. Brian Allgar says:

    Intelligence briefings proceed
    Without Trump,who refuses to heed.
    It’s not that he’s crazy,
    Or feckless, or lazy –
    He never could learn how to read.

  50. Brian Allgar says:

    Was laziness the original sin?

    “Try this apple”, beguilingly hissed
    The old serpent. “You’ll learn what you’ve missed.”
    But Adam said “Thanks,
    There’s less effort in wanks –
    Heavy sex is way down on my list.”

  51. Dave Johnson says:

    In my cubicle, everything’s fine;
    The chair is all set to recline.
    This morning’s been tough
    And I’ve just had enough;
    It’s already quarter to nine.

  52. Brian Allgar says:

    As a battle-scarred limericist,
    I decided I ought to enlist
    In the army that fights
    For poetical rights …
    But instead, I stayed home and got pissed.

  53. Dave Johnson says:

    Old radio stations would list
    All the songs we just couldn’t resist.
    Top 40 was great;
    Now our musical state
    Drifts along like a ship in the mist.

  54. Marty Gerendasy says:

    At the POTUS I growled and I hissed,
    Shouting curses and clenching my fist.
    Happens each time I see
    His fat mug on TV.
    Lots of reasons, too many to list.

  55. Dave Johnson says:

    Because he was acting so pissed,
    His minions had made up a list.
    Then wielding a broom
    To clean out the room;
    “Fake media? They won’t be missed.”

    Reporters were getting the gist;
    So then they declined to enlist.
    As he entered the hall,
    Empty chairs wall-to-wall;
    Nobody was there to be dissed.

    But still, he proceeded to whine:
    “You losers are no friends of mine!”
    With tiny hands flailing,
    Continuous wailing
    From out where the sun doesn’t shine.

  56. Diane Groothuis says:

    While exploring an untraveled piste
    I savoured a huge eyeball feast
    Kookaburras and rabbits
    Wombats and their habits
    All part of my “bush tucker” list.

  57. Judith H. Block says:

    Alas, I’ve forgotten my list
    Of foods that I need to subsist.
    Like a child running free
    On a fun shopping spree
    I’ve bought things I cannot resist.

  58. Judith H. Block says:

    It’s drizzling outside, feeling lazy,
    Can’t see down the street, it’s all hazy.
    Won’t go out, so instead,
    I’ll just stay warm in bed;
    Black out that the world’s going crazy.

  59. Dave Johnson says:

    His blather they couldn’t resist;
    So many red flags were dismissed.
    Then the point of despair:
    “I do solemnly swear…”
    The Ship of State started to list.

  60. Marty Gerendasy says:

    If I made money hand over fist,
    I could buy all the things on my list.
    But who needs all that stuff?
    What I have is enough.
    Really isn’t a lot that I’ve missed!

  61. Fred Bortz says:

    Those were the Bad Old Days

    It was ROTC or enlist,
    Or be drafted, or bravely resist.
    With those choices (absurd!),
    I was lucky (deferred).
    That war, I’m so glad to have missed.

  62. Frank Butera says:

    A certain German high ranking Buddhist,
    Sees no need to create a to do list.
    He gains traction,
    Through studied inaction,
    Denken, was die Bedeutung von mu ist

  63. David Reddekopp says:

    A man who had once made a list
    Of all of the girls he has kissed
    Had now, as his aim
    To ignite an old flame
    He was going to try for a tryst

    His advances were quickly dismissed
    When he asked them, they only got pissed
    And now he is lonely
    It’s him and him only
    And all he has left is his wrist.

  64. Dave Johnson says:

    An MBA student named Jenny
    Has assets desired by many.
    Says counselor Rob:
    “Lying down on the job
    Isn’t lazy – you’re worth every penny.”

  65. Brian Allgar says:

    They told me “You should write a sonnet;
    Proper poets have all undergone it.”
    Fourteen lines? Are you crazy?
    No way, I’m too lazy.
    Now, limericks – five lines, I’m on it.

  66. Diane Groothuis says:

    I once had a strict Frenchy nanny
    Who said you’re as lazy as Granny
    There is no excuse
    To be paresseuse
    And sit tous les jours on your fanny

  67. Dave Johnson says:

    The P.O.T.U.S. is royally pissed;
    Somebody injected a list
    Of ACTUAL facts
    For his Twitter attacks…
    Ivanka, you’re going to be missed.

  68. Adriana Gutiérrez says:


    Comrade Putin did somehow enlist
    Our President right into his midst.
    Now we must endure
    Until his censure.
    In the meantime we’re rightfully pissed!

  69. Dave Johnson says:

    These days I’ve grown weary and hazy;
    Without being worn-out or lazy.
    I’d certainly jump
    For a life without Trump;
    Not spending my time going crazy.

  70. Jeanine Silverio says:

    I was more than a little bit pissed
    To find my mom’s name on his list
    Of fantasy booty
    I asked him, how could he?
    He answered, “It’s all in the wrist.”

  71. James Marks says:

    I’ve got two for this week, but the first one takes a rather broad interpretation of the word “list”:

    A composer whose name was Franz Liszt
    wrote a song to the woman he missed
    But there were many more
    who wished they were the score;
    Too bad that they only got kissed.

    And then something more “traditional”:

    A dirty old man with a cyst
    had a laptop which he did enlist
    to search eHarmony,
    not for matrimony,
    but to set up a clandestine tryst!

  72. Dave Johnson says:

    A podiatrist named Dr. Hill
    Spent night time in search of a thrill.
    He’d go on Craigslist
    And set up a tryst;
    His patients were footing the bill.

  73. Tim James says:

    With Lust, there’s the effort to screw.
    For Glutt’ny, you bite off and chew.
    For Wrath, it’s hard work
    To get steamed like a jerk.
    But with Sloth – hey! There’s naught you need do!

  74. David Reddekopp says:

    An acrostic:

    So seven are deadly as sins
    Lust and gluttony, where it begins
    On to greed, wrath, and pride
    Then envy beside
    However, my sloth always wins.

  75. Sharon Neeman says:

    Agent Orange has beat a retreat
    From the “roast” where the journalists eat;
    His ungraceful decline
    Is an off-putting sign
    Of where lazy and cowardly meet.

  76. Diane Groothuis says:

    I’m thinking of writing a list
    Of what makes me laugh till I’ve pissed
    Well there’s models in hats
    Like pink pussy cats
    They had to explain me the gist.

  77. Lea Anonymous says:

    I have 2:

    I have a forty year old sis,
    So lazy that she’s still a “Miss”,
    ‘Coz she’s groomed like a man,
    Tis why none ask her hand.
    (Made her an eHarmony list!)

    I have decided to construct a list
    Of all the people who’ve written “pissed”.
    There’s so much writing to do…
    So let’s just say forty two
    If there’s more, sorry to whom I’ve missed!

  78. Lea Anonymous says:

    17, including me & Mad.

  79. Brian Allgar says:

    The ship was beginning to list,
    But the Captain and crew were all pissed.
    They were so busy drinking
    That even while sinking,
    They thought it was just heavy mist.

  80. Dave Johnson says:

    Coming down from his Tower of Babble,
    He ignited the rage of the rabble.
    “Only I” he’d insist
    “Am the one!” to enlist
    As P.O.T.U.S., in which he could dabble.

  81. Fred Bortz says:

    The Italian man reads from a list
    Of women he’s pleased to have kissed:
    “I married a few
    And divorced all but two.
    My brain’s in a fog (big-a mist).”

  82. Ryan Tilley says:

    Working Hard at Doing Nothing

    For the mannequin challenge progressed
    With the ringer tremendously blessed,
    And the loser, a Goth
    Was opposing a sloth
    Who was tranquil and never depressed!

  83. James Marks says:

    So, so sorry, Suzanne:

    I was asked to write a fine verse
    how laziness makes me feel worse.
    But I discovered no fire,
    no drive, no desire.
    In fact it was quite the reverse.

  84. Ryan Tilley says:

    Making a List and Checking It Twice

    It was Angie who published the list.
    The listees were obliged to assist.
    As the profits compiled
    From the users who dialed,
    The idea would spread with a twist!

  85. Lea Anonymous says:

    List list list list list list list list
    En en en en en en en en
    To to to to to
    This this this this this
    Super amazing rhyme less lim’rick!

    (Listen to this super amazing rhyme less limerick)

  86. Dave Johnson says:

    (Back when Trump loved fake news so
    much he invented someone to peddle it)

    John Barron claimed “Such a big list
    Of beautiful women he’s kissed.
    They constantly ask;
    My challenging task
    Is scheduling those he has missed.”

  87. Dave Johnson says:

    A slow-moving river is lazy;
    The sky can be bright, gray or hazy.
    And now we affirm
    With a human-like term
    That bat shit’s instinctively crazy.

  88. Lea Anonymous says:

    When I was at work one day,
    Though I’d done all my jobs anyway,
    My Boss said “Write a list
    Or else you’ll be dismissed!😠 ”
    So I wrote about why I hate Mondays.

  89. Lea Anonymous says:


    ‘Happy, sad, angry, annoyed.
    Just some emotions,’ wrote Lloyd
    While constructing a list.
    But notice that he missed
    “Being miffed when your credit card’s void.”

  90. Jesse Levy says:

    A limerick? What are you crazy?
    To be honest, I’m simply too lazy.
    Besides, it’s real early
    And I’ve got to feed Curly,
    At this hour my brain is just hazy.

  91. Fred Bortz says:

    “My vehicle license expired,”
    Said the biker. “It’s just not desired.
    I could have renewed it.
    By choice, I eschewed it.
    Was I lazy? No, simply two-tired.”

  92. Dave Johnson says:

    Sean Spicer has tried to enlist
    A demeanor that’s hard as a fist.
    Since going to work
    For the onion-skinned jerk,
    His briefings aren’t spoken, they’re hissed.

    Perhaps he should look back in time
    When things were a bit more sublime.
    Reporters could poke,
    Inquire or joke;
    And sitting there wasn’t a crime.

  93. Brian Allgar says:

    In the footsteps of Joe McCarthy

    “Believe me, I gotta long list
    Of traitors who’ve gotten me pissed
    Spreading news that is fake,
    And they’ll learn their mistake –
    That it’s futile to try to resist.”

  94. Val Fish says:

    I am the world’s worst pessimist
    My shrink asked me to make a list
    Of happy thoughts
    My total, nought
    I left feeling even more pissed

  95. Lea Anonymous says:

    Hey Mad I just discovered you and your limericks helped me with my poem anthology at school. I was just wondering how long does it take for you to write a limerick?


    From Mad: So glad to hear my limerick site has been helpful to you! As for how long it takes me to write a limerick, it varies widely: anywhere from five minutes to several hours. And alas, sometimes I end up abandoning a limerick because I’m not happy with its last line.

  96. Sharon Neeman says:

    To my clock as I set it to “Snooze”
    (Never quite for as long as I’d choose):
    “I’m not lazy, you pest;
    I am effing depressed;
    So would you be, if you read the news!”

  97. Diane Groothuis says:

    I have a bad pain in my wrist
    While writing a very long list
    Of all reason’s why
    We’re going to fry
    Coz we’re sure climate change does exist.

  98. Fred Bortz says:

    Edited to remove extra syllable in line 5:

    “My vehicle license expired,”
    Said the biker. “It’s just not desired.
    I could have renewed it.
    Too lazy? No, simply two-tired.”

  99. Fred Bortz says:

    Corrected to restore accidentally deleted line 4 (Oy!)

    “My vehicle license expired,”
    Said the biker. “It’s just not desired.
    I could have renewed it.
    By choice, I eschewed it.
    Too lazy? No, simply two-tired.”

  100. Ken Gosse says:

    The Foggy-Foggy Do ~
    “On Valentine’s Day they first kissed,
    But missed in the midst of the mist,”
    That’s short, direct quote
    From a Limerick I wrote.
    What came next? Why not write your own list?

  101. Tim James says:

    When the cruise liner started to list
    The cook had a mishap. The gist:
    He fell right on a knife.
    It was quite late in life
    For a man to be suddenly brissed.

    With a nod to Johnny Carson and Ed Ames

  102. Dave Johnson says:

    Some people know when to desist;
    No angry response they’d enlist.
    But others engage
    A symbol of rage;
    The fist on their wrist when they’re pissed.

  103. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Here I go again, making you wait
    For my lim’ricks, which aren’t that great
    My excuse is as such —
    I procrastinate much
    Got the magical touch of “too late.”

    Oh, but this time, my brain cells are frizzy
    I’m just working long hours till I’m dizzy
    So I haven’t had time
    To submit any rhyme
    I suppose it’s a crime to be busy.

  104. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I once cooked a nice meaty broth
    It was bubbling over with froth
    My meal can ideally
    Feel free to flow freely
    Because I am really a sloth!

    (say Line 4 five times really fast! Betcha can’t do it!)

  105. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I’m afraid, as a lottery winner
    That I just might turn into a sinner
    So I’ll make a big list
    Of the fun that I’ve missed
    While I’ll be a persistent beginner.

  106. Suzanne Heymann says:

    In the army, he sought to enlist
    But the wife didn’t like it; she’s pissed!
    She’s a nagging old snot
    And he’d rather get shot
    ‘Cause with her, he cannot co-exist!

  107. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Your health care will vanish (be pissed!)
    And the reasons why? GOP has a list
    There is one that is not
    Very fair, as they’ll spot
    The conditions you’ve got pre-exist!

  108. Tony Jones says:

    Wilt Chamberlain worked on a list
    To name all the women he’s kissed
    His pen ran out of ink
    And he started to think
    “Perhaps I’ve had too many trysts!”

  109. Dave Johnson says:

    Today should be lazy, I guess;
    Ignore all this Donald Trump mess.
    No rage over tweets
    Or insidious bleats;
    Unlikely, I’ll have to confess.

  110. Tony says:

    I have a friend who was quite lackadaisical
    His way of life had become unsustainable
    Since he needed to eat
    He jumped up on his feet
    And the results have been quite transformational

  111. Suzanne Heymann says:

    She was sick, so he said he’d assist
    So she gave him a big shopping list
    Condoms, tampons and pads
    KY Jelly; egads!
    Yes, some items he made sure he missed.

  112. Suzanne Heymann says:

    There once was a criminalist
    Who solved a yuge crime with a twist
    Cops arrested a pig
    With a cat for a wig
    But the handcuffs – too big for Trump’s wrist!

    ‘Twas hard to tell who was more pissed —
    The cops or Trump shaking his fist
    Oh, I’d have such a ball
    And would sure take in all
    That a fly on the wall would have missed!

  113. Ken Gosse says:

    His Self-Soothing Tongue ~
    Every night, he creates a mixed gist,
    (Quite a challenge for his floppy wrist),
    Tweeting out his own facts,
    Which puts quite a large tax
    On all sooth seekers checking his list.

  114. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is… Limerick-Off Award 272.

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the LAZINESS-Themed Limerick Winner, The Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Bust.