Limerick of the Week (26)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to Ira Bloom who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:

A fellow was trying to dine
On a meat which he couldn’t define.
It was beaten with mallets
And sauteed with shallots;
For roadkill, he thought it divine.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, Johanna Richmond, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Linda Scheller, Charles Mashburn a/k/a Marbles In My Pocket, and Neal Pattison. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

David McCormick:

A fellow was trying to dine.
Of his sirloin, there still was no sign;
Told the waiter his plight,
“Will I sit here all night?”
“Oh no, sir, we close up at nine.”

Johanna Richmond:

A woman was trying to dine
When her date, a bit touched by the wine,
Took dessert down below
Where she heard him cry, “Whoa,
Crème brûlée never tasted so fine!”

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A woman was trying to dine
When he whispered, “These breasts are so fine.”
Her face got beet red.
From the table she fled.
But he just meant his Chicken Divine.

Linda Scheller:

A fellow was trying to dine
On his caviar, fois gras and wine.
He looked through the glass,
Saw a match-selling lass
And then muttered, “Oh well. I’ve got mine.”

Charles Mashburn:

A fellow was trying to dine
But mostly he drank lots of wine,
Became quite unstable,
Slipped under the table.
His wife said, “Oh no, he’s not mine.”

Neal Pattison:

A man who was trying to dine.
Saw his fork had a speck on one tine.
Was it pepper or spice?
Was it rats? Was it mice?
He decided to stick with the wine.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. It was an especially strong group of poems, and I had a very tough time choosing.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

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3 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (26)”

  1. Melanie Carbajal says:

    Wow…these are all great!

  2. scott says:

    I agree with Melanie, fantastic verses!
    Funny, raunchy and gross, who could ask for more?

  3. madkane says:

    So glad you enjoyed them Melanie and Scott. I had a tough time selecting the winners — there were so many good ones to choose from.