Newsy Limerick
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who reported the news…
Here’s mine:
Newsy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who reported the news
Had some very odd habits and views.
He’d rant and he’d rave
And refuse to behave.
And when caught in a lie, he blamed booze.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
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Tags: Bad Behavior, Bad Habits Humor, Booze Humor, Media Limerick, News Limerick, Personality Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Reporters Humor, TV Humor, Writing Prompts
OMG- I can’t believe I’m first!
A man who reported the news
Forgot which channel to use
This set him a’stumblin’
Made fans all a’grumblin’
Until his faux pas changed the views.
A man who reported the news
Went to Egypt to report the world news.
As he stood there talking
The police came stalking
Now his body’s a shade of chartreuse.
A man who reported the news
Took time off to go on a cruise
His producer replaced him
With eye candy named Kim
Our reporter’s now singing the blues
LOL! I’m enjoying these! Laurie, I bet you sneaked in early while the guys were busy watching the Super Bowl :)
A man who reported the news
Needed more than the usual number of crews
He hemmed and he hawed
And couldn’t ID any fraud
Now job hunting’s put holes in his shoes.
A man who reported the news
was sent on a trip to Toulouse.
The story was dead,
so he stood on his head,
reciting a poem by Ted Hughes.
A man who reported the news
Learned quickly to dodge errant shoes
He was such a hog
He decided to blog
And now he sings the blues
A man who reported the news
Employed words that are ‘way overused’
Such as “storm of the century”
Or “Fled the penitentiary”
Yes, clichés were his favorite muse!
(Back to you at the station, Mad ;-)
A man who reported the news
much preferred playing the blues.
At night at the bar
he saxxed like a star;
then woke in the morn for his dues.
A man who reported the news,
Keith Olbermann had some strong views.
Critics said he was biased;
Fans thought him the wryest.
Question is, who’ll fill his shoes?
A man who reported the news,
just hoped to inflame and enthuse,
some nut with a notion,
to cause an explosion.
No, the man’s not the bomb, he’s the fuse.
A man who reported the news
Had a bad case of deepening blues
As the news got worse
He thought: “Cruise or hearse?”
Deciding on sea air on the cruise.
A woman who reported the news
A frustrated actress, paying her dues
When put on the spot
Her answers were not
But none of her audience had clues.
…
As long as she’d prepared and researched
High at her teleprompted desk she’d be perched
But away from her show
Little did she know
A deer in the headlights she froze and then lurched.
Silently awaiting her chance
She continued her role in the dance
‘Til finally her heart
Refused to play the part
And she awoke from her left-leaning trance.
I’m really enjoying your limericks. Thanks everyone, and please keep them coming!
A man who reported the news
Was known for blowing his fuse
When the Steelers lost to the Packers
He drank till he hollered, ‘You Slackers!”
Translation: A lose is an excuse to infuse booze
A man who reported the news
Suddenly realized he had no clues.
He just read what they’d written,
But once he’d been bitten,
He organized in-depth news crews.
Said a man who reported the news:
Spin it left? Spin it right? Must I choose?
If I stick with the facts,
Will they give me the axe
For a colorless lack of political hues?
A man who reported the news,
loved his writing but also his booze
He soon lost his mind
while trying to find
how to sort out his p’s from his q’s.
A man who reported the news
his position of trust did abuse.
No facts are exposed
in his conservative prose,
under boss Murdoch’s purview.
A man who reported the news
Was apt to take a short snooze
But between his naps
the economy collapsed
On the bright side, he’s got nothing to lose.
I’m here from a little late from Monday Poetry Train. Your limerick made me laugh! Here’s my try:
A man who reported the news
His producer’s direction refused.
“Suit and tie must I wear,
But for comfort down there
Feets can only take ratty old shoes!”
Thanks that was fun!
Oh good, more fun limericks! Thanks everyone, and please keep them coming!
A man who reported the news
made a bet he was destined to lose.
Bet the devil his soul
he’d report the truth whole
while respecting his employer’s views.
A man who reported the news
Declined to wear trousers or shoes,
And would file his reports
In polka dot shorts
Of yellow and green and chartreuse.
I’m really enjoying these. Thanks so much to all of you. And feel free to post some more, of course!
A man who reported the news
drank a few too many brews
then he went on the air
in his underwear
and threw-up on the weather girl’s shoes
Scott, that’s quite an image! :)