It Is Hereby Resolved (New Year’s Resolution Humor)

What is it about December 31st that spurs fantasies of self-reform? Is it too much food and drink? Seasonal exuberance? Lunacy induced by crowds?

Every December, otherwise rational people make resolutions meant to transform them into organized, addiction-free souls with clean houses, healthy bodies, wholesome relationships, perfect children, and career paths soaring to the top — the same vows they made last year and the year before that.

Can our resolutions endure past January 1st? Can we make it to year’s end without ripping up our lists? … (It Is Hereby Resolved is continued here.)

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5 Responses to “It Is Hereby Resolved (New Year’s Resolution Humor)”

  1. John Salmon says:

    I like that definition of quality time.

    I hereby resolve to make no resolutions. However, snarky suggestions to others in the form of, “You should make it a point to not pick your nose in public for a whole year” are perfectly okay.

  2. Nelumbo says:

    LOL. And that’s so true about making the same resolutions every year.

  3. DigitalRich says:

    Well done. Last year I made a resolution to drink more alcohol. Seriously. I really enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner, or after, and my wife and I mentioned that we really don’t do that enough. Good news- I was able to keep this resolution perfectly.


  4. carol says:

    OMG! This has to be the single most creative New Years Resolution “couples” contract I have ever read! I think had I thought of this maybe I could have kept my Resolutions until say….Jany 2nd? LOL

  5. Maureen says:

    If my husband gave me one of these agreements I would make him eat it! Hey, thats one way to diet.