Does Your Guilt Spring Eternal?

Guilt Springs Eternal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Spring has arrived. Do you feel guilty yet? If not, you apparently don’t read women’s magazines. Every March and April they’re packed with “clean up and organize your life” articles. Stories with catchy titles like Spring Into Action — Tidy Up Your House. Or Wash Away Winter Blues. Or Banish Clutter Now; Otherwise We’ll Keep Torturing You With Articles Meant to Make you Feel Like A Slothful Bum. Personally, I’d rather read Why Clean? It Will Only Get Dirty Again Tomorrow.

Why do magazines publish these pieces? Because every spring millions of women have the same Pavlovian response: Guilt. Guilt quickly followed by a spending spree on periodicals and cleaning supplies. They grab every magazine in sight and, in a fit of post-New Year’s resolution fervor, vow to Martha Stewartize their homes.

Do these articles help? Do they unlock the sacred secret of “eat off your basement floor” womanhood? Hahahahahahaha. Pardon me — I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were serious. (Guilt Springs Eternal continues here.)

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11 Responses to “Does Your Guilt Spring Eternal?”

  1. Joyce Taron says:

    In my younger days I very much subscribed to such guilty feelings, to the extent that I would clean things whether they needed it or not, just because it was on the schedule to be cleaned. Maybe I’m just a slightly obsessive personality, though.

    At any rate, you are right! Why are so many people willing to feel so guilty about this, I wonder?

  2. madkane says:

    Many years of indoctrination! :)

  3. Val says:

    I blame it all my my toothbrush window sill cleaning mother. Those impossible standards that Gloria Steinem just never fully addressed. ;) I need a comet detox I think. Very funny stuff Mad and so true!

  4. madkane says:

    Thanks, Val! And good luck with that detox. :)

  5. lamiaverita says:

    I finally resolved this issue after too many years of obsessing over dirt. I hired a cleaning lady and let her do it. :)

  6. Guilt, nah.


    Haven’t heard from you in a while. I hope you are well.

    Are you planning new limerick prompts?



  7. madkane says:

    liamiaverita, sounds like a fine plan. :)

    And Nickers, I’ve been both on vacation and under the weather, but hope to get some new prompts posted soon.

  8. tjenarvi says:

    A beautiful simple blog you got here, don’t forget to visit my unique content of humor stuff at :-)

    About a spring in this not my born city (beijing), the spring is very nice, but strange that sometimes windy and cold like in winter. The strangest thing is we got snow in the first week of spring !!

    Nice to meet you

  9. madkane says:

    Nice to meet you too, tjenarvi.

  10. Steve Nance says:

    A very nicely crafted piece. The literary wit and wickedly contrarian tone remind me of Barbara Ehrenreich!

  11. madkane says:

    What a lovely compliment, Steve. Thanks!