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Madeleine Begun Kane,
Humor Columnist,

Madeleine Begun Kane


Here's some appliance-related humor:

  • If It Is Broke, Don't Fix It

    "I have one basic approach to repair persons: I run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. It's the only way I know to avoid paying $200 to fix something worth $1.98. So on those rare occasions (roughly 150% of the time) when an appliance dies after its warranty has expired, I do what any rational individual would do: I consult Consumer's Digest and purchase a replacement.

    I'll bet your ears perked up at the words Consumer's Digest. "She's one savvy buyer," you're telling yourself. Well, not exactly. All I really do is check the warranty lengths so I can schedule my next purchase. Let's say my new DVD player comes with a one-year guarantee. I simply mark "Day 366" on my calendar, and it breaks like clockwork. ..."

  • Contending With Time

    "Unless you live on another planet, there are never enough hours in the day. But if you use these efficiency techniques, you can win that battle with time:

    1. Always do at least two things at once. While showering, write a screenplay. While sorting laundry, invent a handy appliance for the home. While chatting on the phone with a dull acquaintance, take a nap. ..."

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