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Madeleine Begun Kane,
Humor Columnist,
NOTABLES WEBLOG (Oct. 1-10, 2002)


Madeleine Begun Kane
 
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Here's where I archive my Oct. 1-10, 2002 Notables Weblog posts. For my most recent blog postings, click here. And please don't forget to check out my latest humor columns, Dubya's Dayly Diary, and my other political humor.

October 10, 2002

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October 8, 2002

  • Okay, so the U.S. Supreme Court did the right thing in the Lautenberg ballot case. Part of me is relieved, of course. But memories of Election 2000 remain so painfully vivid, that I believe the legal wrangling by the GOP and Doug Forrester has only just begun. Which is why I wrote this: (If you'd like to sing along, here's a midi link which opens a second window.)

    Suin' For The Win (To be sung to "Blowin' In The Wind" by Bob Dylan)
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    How many ways can I run unopposed
    And still claim that I'm being fair?
    How many ways can I get every vote
    And land me a Senator's chair?
    How many claims can I bring to the courts
    Before the election's declared?
    The answer my friends is in my lawyers' hands,
    The answer is in my lawyers' hands.

    How many ways can we hassle the Dems
    Until Lautenberg says good-bye?
    How many ways can we muddle my race
    With false accusations and lies?
    Why was my late ballot change okay
    While Lautenberg's change must not fly?
    The answer my friends is in some judges' hands,
    The answer is in some judges' hands.

    © 2002 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

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October 7, 2002

  • It's 10:00 P.M. Do you know where your 401(k) went? If not, maybe this song parody will help: (If you'd like to sing along, here's a midi link which opens a second window.)

    401(k) Ode (Owed) (To be sung to "Toot, Toot, Tootsie, Goodbye" by Gus Kahn, Ernie Erdman and Dan Russo)
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Four-Oh-One-Kay, good-bye!
    Keeps on dropping, oh my!
    Republicans who tell me,
    I shouldn't be blue, no words can tell how mad it makes me.
    Four-Oh-One-Kay, oh when
    Will you rise up again?
    Quarterly mail, budget's derailed,
    If it don't get much better then I'll moan, sigh, and wail.
    Four-Oh-One-Kay, good-bye!
    Keeps on dropping, oh my!

    Four-Oh-One-Kay, good-bye!
    Keeps on shrinking, I cry!
    I rue the ways that Georgie
    Betrays our rules, no words can tell how scared it makes me.
    Four-Oh-One-Kay, oh when
    Will you rise up again?
    Dubya has failed, send him to jail,
    It's his fault I'm a debtor, so don't give him no bail.
    Four-Oh-One-Kay, good-bye!
    Keeps on milking me dry!

    © 2002 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

    For another money related song parody, please check out On Wall Street.

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October 4, 2002

  • As macho as Bush may be (or pretend to be), something tells me he won't be taking up the Iraq duel challenge. Too bad, because the very thought of Saddam and Dubya duking it out with guns or razor sharp implements is sheer poetry.

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October 2, 2002

  • I couldn't resist writing yet another anti-war song parody. (If you'd like to sing along, here's a midi link which opens a second window. Previous anti-war song parodies are here.)

    Don't Think Twice, Let's Just Fight (To be sung to "Don't Think Twice" by Bob Dylan)
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Well it ainít no use to curse and pine and sigh, babe.
    If you don't know by now.
    And it ainít no use to miss that other guy, babe.
    And the ever rising Dow.
    Cause my boosters crow and the weak Dems fawn.
    Read any paper. You'll see I've won.
    That's the reason I'm warrin' on.
    Don't think twice, let's just fight.

    And it ainít no use in claiminí I'm not right, babe.
    Or that I caused your woes.
    And it ainít no use in claiminí I'm not right, babe.
    I'm on the dark side of the road.
    You may wish there was somethiní you could do or say
    To try and make me change my mind today.
    I always do like to give them hawks their way.
    Don't think twice, let's just fight.

    So it ainít no use in claimin' I'm to blame, gal.
    No use mournin' Albert Gore.
    And it ainít no use in playin' the blame game, pal.
    I've got votes and I'll get more.
    I'm a thinkin' and a plottin' frays against my foes.
    I wince when we waffle. We must be bold.
    Avengin' my Pop is my major life's goal.
    Don't think twice, let's just fight.

    So long, mean Hussein.
    He'll go down, fast, pell-mell.
    Good-bye is too good a word, babe.
    So Iíll just say, "Go to hell!"
    Don't go claimin' I have lost my damn mind.
    You just are embittered. Dems are, I find.
    You just sorta prattle 'bout corp'rate crime.
    Don't think twice, let's just fight.

    © 2002 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

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October 1, 2002

  • Confused about Torricelli and New Jersey election law? Then just read this. You'll still be confused, but you'll know you're not alone.

  • Elisabeth Bumiller's article about the Bush White House's preference for non-newsy niche magazine coverage in publications like Vogue, Lifestyles, Runner's World and Wine Spectator is a fascinating read. And the Bushies haven't even begun to exhaust the possibilities. Stay tuned for Bush senior staff profiles in Media Manipulators Monthly, Energy Maven's Daily and Liars Anonymous Online.

  • If you're disheartened by the Democrats' seeming inability to run competent campaigns, this excellent Ellis Henican piece about Bob Fertik and Democrats.com should raise your spirits at least a bit.

  • I have a weakness for clever titles, especially when they're alliterative. So I couldn't resist taking just a whiff of Manure Matters.

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