Posts Tagged ‘Presidential Campaign Humor’

Republican Quandary (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 6th, 2021

Headline: “GOP 2024 hopefuls face challenge: Not upsetting Trump”

“The Hill” tells us something we know
About GOP prez-hopefuls’ woe:
They must NOT rile the prickly
Ex-prez, yet act quickly.
Avoid venom from Trump? Ho, ho, ho!

Limerick Ode To Our Liar-In-Chief

Monday, December 7th, 2020

Headline: “Trump Claims He’d Be Gracious, If He Lost”

Our pugnacious prez claims he’d be “gracious”
If he lost. (His lie-library’s spacious.)
Donald did in fact lose,
But his goal’s to confuse,
Bilk, and bully — that’s “Trump the Mendacious.”

Yay, Michigan! (Limerick)

Monday, November 23rd, 2020

Headline: “Michigan certifies Biden victory in another blow to Trump”

Donald’s Michigan thievery’s failed;
His electoral heist scheme curtailed.
Joe’s electors are IN;
A democracy WIN!
How refreshing that justice prevailed.

Limerick Ode To the Boaster-In-Chief

Sunday, November 1st, 2020

Using any excuse for a boast,
Trump will brag via speech, tweet, or post:
He’s the best and the greatest
(And no doubt the straightest.)
Another four years … and we’re toast!

Trump, An Insurgent??? (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 28th, 2020

Trump pretends that he’s still an insurgent.
His impulse to dupe us is urgent,
Cuz incumbents take blame;
Trump wants fault-free acclaim.
Here’s what I want: A White House Detergent.

Trump’s Killer Instinct (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

Headline: “Trump ignores science at dangerous indoor rally”

Donald’s base should start writing their wills,
Cuz he feeds on large audience thrills;
Crammed together indoors,
Scanty masks, chair-filled floors.
Donald Trump doesn’t care whom he kills.

GOP Debates, Then And Now (2-Verse Limerick)

Monday, March 7th, 2016

Campaign debates used to be boring,
And could lead to some serious snoring;
As the pols prattled on
Going hither and … yawn…
I was known to nod off on the flooring.

But debates are quite diff’rent this year;
On the GOP side you will hear
Words that won’t let you sleep
And just might make you weep,
As the bullies hurl slurs, leer, and sneer.

No More Grasping At Straws (Limerick)

Friday, June 12th, 2015

The Iowa GOP Board
Found its straw poll was being ignored
And disdained — even mocked.
So I sure wasn’t shocked
By its vote to at last cut the cord.

Political Tidbits

Saturday, March 21st, 2015

Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.

It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.

*****

To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.

Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.

*****

Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?

*****

Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.

*****

In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.

I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.

*****

Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.

*****

Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”

*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.

What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!

*****

The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.

*****

Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”

But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.

*****

Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?

*****

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.

******

GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.

*****

Mitt Bows Out (Limerick)

Saturday, January 31st, 2015

Mitt Bows Out (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney won’t run. What a blow!
He took stock and decided no-go.
Now I won’t get to mock
His new populist crock
As the dough flows to Dubya’s bro.

Limerick Ode To Peter King

Friday, March 1st, 2013

Some article titles say it all: “Pete King Can’t Believe Rubio Has the ‘Balls’ to Fundraise in New York.”

Here’s Rep. Peter King, a conservative Republican who represents much of Long Island, New York:

“Being from New York we’re not supposed to be suckers,” Mr. King told Politicker this morning. “It’s bad enough that these guys voted against it, that’s inexcusable enough. But to have the balls to come in and say, ‘We screwed you now make us president?’”

Limerick Ode To Peter King
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear wealthy New Yorkers, says King,
Do not give any money or bling
To a pol who said “no”
To the Storm Sandy dough.
I agree, which feels odd — King’s right-wing.

The GOP Pitch (Limerick)

Monday, April 30th, 2012

The GOP Pitch (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans made a huge mess.
Dems’ fixes they’ve tried to suppress.
Yet Republicans crow:
“The recovery’s slow.
Dump Obama. We’ve earned that address.”

Mitt Romney’s South Carolina Blues (Limerick)

Friday, January 20th, 2012

The South Carolina primary is tomorrow, and Newt Gingrich’s poll numbers are picking up steam.

Mitt Romney’s South Carolina Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It appears that Newt Gingrich may win
Tomorrow, to Romney’s chagrin.
Just imagine the gloating
Right after the voting!
If this happens, will Mitt take to gin?

Limerick Ode To Newt “The Thinker” Gingrich

Friday, December 2nd, 2011

New York Magazine’s Dana Amira has the numerical dirt on something that’s annoyed me for decades: Newt Gingrich’s over-use of pretentious words like profoundly, deeply, frankly, and fundamentally.

Limerick Ode To Newt “The Thinker” Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Frankly speaking, Newt likes to amass
Pompous adverbs to give himself class.
He feigns gravitas soundly
With deeply, profoundly.
Fundamentally, Newt is an ass.

Quotable Cain “Limerick”

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

Here’s my new favorite Republican candidate quote, courtesy of Herman Cain:

“President Obama called for the removal of Gaddafi. Just want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, yes I agree, I know I didn’t agree. I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason — no, that’s a different one. I gotta go back to… Got all this stuff twirling around in my head. Specifically, what are you asking me, did I agree or not disagree with on what?”

Quotable Cain (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Herman Cain’s prez campaign isn’t sterling
Cuz stuff in his head keeps on “twirling.”
He’s learned lessons quite tough:
9-9-9 ain’t enough
When harassment accusals are whirling.

Limerick Ode To Herman “Straight Talker” Cain

Tuesday, November 1st, 2011

Why Is Mitt Romney smiling? Because Herman Cain keeps revising his version of the sexual harassment accusations, which date back to his time with the National Restaurant Association.

Limerick Ode To Herman “Straight Talker” Cain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney must surely be grinning
Cuz Cain’s having great problems spinning
Some old allegations:
Cain’s changed explanations
Are raising Mitt’s chances of winning.

Eight 4-Liners For The Republican Contenders

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

It’s time for some more political clerihews — whimsically biographical four-line poems, described more fully here.

I’ve written one for each of the would-be presidents who appeared at last night’s Republican debate:

Mass. Governor Mitt,
A job cutting hit.
He flips and he flops,
As positions he swaps.

*****

Herman “9-9-9” Cain:
(Romney hopes he’ll wane)
Though many think he rocks,
He belongs on Fox.

*****

James Richard Perry:
Is he bright? Not very.
A lousy debater—
Called Bernanke a traitor.

*****

Unhinged Michele
Is sinking pell-mell.
Even crazier than Palin—
Just what is she inhalin’?

*****

Former Speaker Newt,
A pompous beaut.
Purports to be intellectual,
At selling books effectual.

*****

Rick Santorum
Seems lost in this forum.
He’s none too calm
Over his Google Bomb.

*****

Libertarian Ron Paul
Is having a ball.
Doesn’t stand a chance.
But enjoys the dance.

*****

Jon Huntsman jokes
But can not coax
Any support for his reign.
He’s way too sane.

*****

Limerick Ode To the GOP

Saturday, October 8th, 2011

Wow! President Obama is a closet limerick writer! Check out this poem “rescued” from the Oval Office trash:

Limerick Ode To the GOP By Barack Obama
“Rescued” By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republicans, thanks for your slate
Of possible pols to debate.
I’ve been worried as hell.
Now you’ve made my hopes swell,
Cuz my years here may well grow to eight.

My Email To Obama’s Campaign

Saturday, September 3rd, 2011

I got an info@barackobama.com campaign email & replied with this limerick. I plan to do this from now on, every time I get an email from Barack Obama’s presidential campaign. Feel free to use my limerick in the same way:

Limerick Ode To A Failed Presidency
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, I’ve had it — you’ve failed.
It was time to be strong, but you bailed.
The Dems needed “bold.”
But instead you got rolled.
You’ve undermined all that we hailed.

Limerick Ode to Rick “Bad Debater” Perry

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Certain media people are doing Rick Perry a huge favor by lowering the bar with tales of Perry being a lousy debater.

Limerick Ode to Rick “Bad Debater” Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When press people lower the bar,
They enable a pol to go far.
Exceed expectations,
Then get more ovations,
And become a political star.