I used to be able to write funny limericks. But these days, most of them are serious and depressing. This excellent Karen Tumulty column largely inspired this one:
An Executive Branch run amok! Sen. “Advice and Consent?” No such luck! Our Democracy’s hacked And our nation’s soul’s cracked. So what else can one say except FUCK!?!
Pushing buttons is Donald’s great gift. (That along with his talent for grift.) The man glories in setting Folks off who (while fretting) Forget they must act when they’re miffed.
Axios Headline: “Trump launches meme coin, apparently makes more than $25 billion overnight”
Trump made $25 “yards” overnight With the $TRUMP coin — his new grifting blight. By the way, “yard’s” a billion; No NOT a mere million– Bigly duping the not-very-bright.
Donald’s picks, on the whole, are all feckless. There’s no vetting, alas. They are checkless. Trump gives standards short shrift, But his process is swift. It’s a cinch being quick when you’re reckless!
The old “Gray Lady’s” falling in line, Cov’ring Trump with no hint of a spine. I’m so sick of its false Equiv’lency waltz! Is it fair to the Dems? I say Nein!
I would stop our subscription today. But, alas, my dear spouse says, “No! Nay!” He has wearied of hearing My New York Times jeering. So it’s here, where I must have my say.
When a Trump pick is forced to withdraw Over sex-crimes, or some other flaw, It seems likely, alas, That an even worse ass Will be named to help Trump flout the law.
Donald’s allies keep warning the guy That his insults and whining won’t fly: She “turned Black?” Staged a “coup?” “AI Crowds?” “Low IQ?” All false claims that most voters won’t buy!
Though he’s eager to once again reign, Donald treats their advice with disdain. To his old ways, he cleaves. (He knows best, he believes.) That’s great news: He’ll keep acting insane!
Dear Trump, you sound terribly mad. I’m confused: You just won. Why so sad? You di’n’t win by enough? Oh, poor baby! That’s rough! But there’s always your dear old pal, Vlad.
And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)
Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:
Pelosi’s a female, it’s true. So is Haley, and both oppose YOU. Nonetheless, it’s unwise To (while spinning your lies) Confuse those two gals, as you spew.
I am planning a huge celebration, Which will feature great food and libation. The date’s still not set, But I’m hosting my fête On the day of Trump’s freedom cessation.
Most constituents sigh, whine, and grouse About Santos, a villainous louse. He’s a con-artist worm Who should serve a long term In a JAILHOUSE and NOT in the House.
Republican pols love to cloak Their meanness by calling things “woke.” Well if showing awareness Of blatant unfairness Is “woke,” we should ALL be woke folk.
Dear Bernie: I started out liking you, but preferring Hillary. Over time, my respect for you has gradually declined. However until today, I still thought you were a well-meaning progressive, albeit one with an over-inflated ego and a soupçon of sexism.
But all that has changed as a result of your “performance” today on CNN’s State of the Union. My regard for you now is undoubtedly every bit as low as the “Bernie Or Busters’ regard for Hillary Clinton.
So please don’t bother endorsing Hillary EVER. It’s way too late. Nobody cares!
And by all means please keep up your increasingly obnoxious remarks about Hillary — comments you apparently must spew in order to maintain the media attention you require to get through the day. Because again, NOBODY CARES!
And re your: “We are trying to say to Secretary Clinton and the Clinton campaign, ‘Make it clear which side you are on,'” please get therapy. Your need for it appears desperate.
Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.
It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.
*****
To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.
Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.
*****
Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?
*****
Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.
*****
In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.
I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.
*****
Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.
*****
Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”
*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.
What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!
*****
The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.
*****
Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”
But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.
*****
Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?
*****
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.
******
GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.
The federal government’s reopened and the debt ceiling crisis was averted at the last minute. So the question now is, will this happen again? Alas, many experts believe we’re doomed to have yet another shutdown.
Doomed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This crisis is over for now,
But for those who are wiping their brow,
Please keep this in mind:
The very same bind
May in merely three months take a bow.
That’s ONE Dick Gone (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Say goodbye to the Dick Morris snarl.
Dick (like Palin) can no longer gnarl
All his poisonous spews,
Perched at Fox Cable News.
But alas, Fox is still keeping Karl.
Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!
Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?
Our Constitutional Collapse (Limerick)
Thursday, February 6th, 2025I used to be able to write funny limericks. But these days, most of them are serious and depressing. This excellent Karen Tumulty column largely inspired this one:
An Executive Branch run amok!
Sen. “Advice and Consent?” No such luck!
Our Democracy’s hacked
And our nation’s soul’s cracked.
So what else can one say except FUCK!?!
Tags: Advice and Consent, Constitution Verse, Donald Trump, GOP, House Republicans, Senate Republicans, Trump, Trump Lies, Trump Riot, U.S. Constitution, White House
Posted in Democracy Humor, Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Senate Satire, Trump | No Comments »