Archive for the ‘National Security Humor’ Category
Friday, March 20th, 2026
My war in Iran’s going great!
Ev’ry option I’ve chosen’s first rate.
But the “fake news” is claiming
The opposite, blaming
My acts for the glitch with the Strait.
They are trying to make me lose face,
And it’s THEIR fault I’m losing my base.
But I’ll get them back soon,
And they’ll sing a new tune…
Cuz my pal Brendan Carr’s on the case.
Tags: Brendan Carr, Donald Trump, FCC, Iran Attack, Iran War, Media, NATO Allies, No New Wars, Nuclear Weapons, Peace President, Trump Crimes, Trump Lies, Trump Limerick, Trump Wars
Posted in American Carnage, Donald Trump, International Affairs, Media Satire, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Trump, War & Antiwar Poems | No Comments »
Monday, March 16th, 2026
Donald loves to abuse friendly nations,
Hurling insults, demanding prostrations.
Now he’s stunned they won’t aid
With the Hormuz blockade…
How dare they rebuff his dictations!
Tags: Donald Trump, Iran Attack, Iran War, NATO Allies, No New Wars, Nuclear Weapons, Peace President, Trump Crimes, Trump Lies, Trump Limerick, Trump Wars
Posted in American Carnage, Donald Trump, Foreign Policy, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Trump, War & Antiwar Poems | No Comments »
Monday, March 2nd, 2026
Why did Trump start a Middle East war?
Was it boredom? A penchant for gore?
A great need to distract
From his failures? The fact
That The Donald’s insane to his core?
Or perhaps Trump is feeling the urgency
To declare a big wartime emergency,
Become Czar by decree,
Make the sane people flee…
And destroy any pro-Dem resurgency.
Tags: Donald Trump, Iran, Middle East War, Nuclear Weapons, Trump, War
Posted in Donald Trump, Foreign Policy, National Security Humor, Nuclear Weapons, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Trump, War & Antiwar Poems | No Comments »
Thursday, February 5th, 2026
An inept and unqualified punk,
Who is also an infamous drunk,
Runs our nation’s defense,
Which of course makes no sense,
Since his specialty’s ludicrous bunk.
Tags: Dept of Defense, Dept. of War, Donald Trump, Pete Hegseth, Secy of War, Trump
Posted in Donald Trump, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Trump, War & Antiwar Poems | No Comments »
Saturday, January 31st, 2026
Our nation, alas, is now hated
By old allies, their rage unabated.
Trump of course is the cause;
He spews bile without pause.
Xi and Putin, no doubt, are elated.
Tags: China, Diplomacy, Donald Trump, EU, International Relations, Putin, Republicans Humor, Russia, Trump, Xi
Posted in Constitution Humor, Constitutional Crisis, Crime, Democracy Humor, Diplomacy Humor, Donald Trump, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, Great Britain Humor, International Affairs, Mexico Humor, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Russia, Trump | No Comments »
Friday, July 28th, 2023
Security footage begone!
Ordered Trump, like a mafia don.
Said a tech in IT:
I can’t do it. Not me!
And so Trump is a soon-to-be con.
Tags: Classified Documents, Crime and Punishment, Crime Limerick, Donald Trump, Election 2024, Election Humor, Jack Smith, Justice Department, Mar-a-Lago, Republicans Humor, Security Footage, Stolen Documents, Trump, Trump Indictment
Posted in Crime, Donald Trump, Justice Department, Law Satire, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Trump | Comments Off on Trump’s “Delete The Server” Woes (Limerick)
Thursday, November 12th, 2020
Headline: “Trump’s Defense Department purge threatens our security”
Donald Trump is engaged in a purge;
A destruction of government surge.
He’s stacking positions
With yes-men whose mission’s
To help Donald heighten his scourge.
Tags: Campaign 2020, Defense Limerick, Donald Trump, Election 2020, Joe Biden, National Security, National Security Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, February 19th, 2019
Donald Trump breaches
separation of powers–
Republicans shrug.
*****
How To Lose A Case:
1. Declare national emergency.
2. Say “I didn’t need to do this,” as your lawyers tear their remaining hair out.
3. Stand by for courts to agree that you, indeed, “didn’t need to do this.”
*****
Unpersuadable,
Impervious to the facts–
That’s Donald Trump’s base.
*****
Today, Lindsey Graham defended Trump’s unconstitutional “national emergency” declaration:
“Let’s just say for a moment that he took some money out of the military construction budget,” Graham said. “I would say it’s better for the middle-school kids in Kentucky to have a secure border. We’ll get them the school they need. But right now we’ve got a national emergency on our hands.
What’s next for Lindsey Graham? Any day now, we just might be hearing this:
“Let’s just say for a moment that the President executed Nancy Pelosi, the person most responsible for blocking his wall.
“Yes, that would be unfortunate. But I would say it’s better for middle-school kids and all Americans to have a secure border. We’ll get them the new House Speaker they need. But right now we’ve got a national emergency on our hands.”
*****
DONALD TRUMP: “We will have a national emergency and we will then be sued and they will sue us in the 9th circuit, even though it shouldn’t be there…”
Hey Donald, if you don’t want cases to go to the 9th Circuit, stop screwing California.
*****
Tags: Abuse of Executive Power, Balance of Power, Border Wall, FEMA, Military, Money, National Security, Pentagon Humor
Posted in Donald Trump, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Military Humor, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Sundry National Emergency Humor
Friday, February 15th, 2019
A fake crisis; Trump seizes more power,
As obsequious ass-kissers cower.
He raids Pentagon cash
And a FEMA funds stash,
And democracy dies by the hour.
Tags: Abuse of Executive Power, Balance of Power, Border Wall, FEMA, Military, Money, National Security, Pentagon Humor
Posted in Donald Trump, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Military Humor, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, February 6th, 2019
The Donald says “Go back to school!”
To intel chiefs. Trump is a fool,
Who is sure he knows best
And hurls insults with zest,
Along with his drivel and drool.
Tags: Donald Trump, Intel, National Security, National Security Humor
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Don’t Bother Telling Trump Intel (Limerick)
Monday, July 23rd, 2018
Want to keep your security clearance?
Donald’s rule shall require adherence:
Swear you’re loy’l to Trump’s Being,
Or else you risk seeing
Your clearance’s swift disappearance.
Tags: Donald Trump, National Security Humor, Security Clearance
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump’s New Rule (Limerick)
Monday, April 3rd, 2017
Trump’s incensed, and I hate to sound dense,
But his grievance re Flynn makes no sense.
Donald hired a threat
To security; yet
The UNMASKING to Trump’s the offense.
Tags: Michael Flynn, National Security, Security, Trump
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump’s Flynn Nonsense (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 14th, 2012
I’ve been trying to ignore the David Petraeus, John Allen, Jill Kelley, Paula Broadwell, shirtless FBI agent brouhaha. But it’s really hard to avoid.
The Press Laid Bare (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Juicy emails! Illicit affair!
FBI guy whose chest is quite bare!
In gen’ral the press,
Now bored with our mess,
Prefers fare with a sexual flair.
Tags: CIA, Cyberstalking, David Petraeus, FBI Agents, Frederick Humphries, Jill Kelley, John Allen, Media Humor, National Security, Paula Broadwell, Press
Posted in CIA Satire, FBI Humor, Media Satire, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | Comments Off on The Press Laid Bare (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 10th, 2012
Alpha-Political Verse (Election 2012)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A is for abortions, which Mitt Romney vows to ban.
B is for the Birthers. Gov’nor Romney’s quite the fan.
C’s for the contempt Mitt feels for folks who aren’t rich.
D is for a sham debate — Mitt’s pseudo-moderate switch.
E’s evolving policies Mitt seem to change each day.
F is for those pesky facts. For Mitt they don’t hold sway.
G’s for global warming. Mitt no longer thinks it’s real.
H is homophobia. Gay marriage he’d repeal.
I’s for immigration. Self-deporting! What a plan!
J’s for rightwing judges. Justice Roberts is Mitt’s man.
K is for the Koch Bros. Mr. Romney’s in their debt.
L’s for all the lies Mitt tells. The truth to Mitt’s a threat.
M’s Medicare and Medicaid. Mitt screws the old and poor.
N’s for Romney’s negative campaign, fact-challenged to its core.
O’s for Mitt’s Olympics and the bailout Mitt secured.
P is for Paul Ryan’s plan. Mitt’s keeping it obscured.
Q’s for follow-up questions. Journos find them such a bore.
R’s for regulations. Mitt is anti … also for.
S is Social Security — Mitt pretends he wants to save.
T is tax cuts for the rich, which Romney donors crave.
U’s the unemployment that Mitt Romney helped create.
V is all those varmints Romney killed … and maybe ate.
W’s for lots of foreign wars. Mitt’s spoiling for a fight.
X is for your ballot mark. Be sure to do it right.
Y’s for “Yes, we can” make sure the President prevails.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots. I look forward to their wails.
(You can find my previous alpha-political verse here,
here, here, and here.)
Tags: Abortion Rights, Ballots, Barack Obama, Birthers, Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, Gay Rights, Global Warming, Homophobes, Immigration Humor, Journalists, Judiciary Satire, Justice John Roberts, Koch Brothers, Medicaid, Medicare, Mitt Romney, Regulations, Self-Deportation, Social Security, Supreme Court Humor, Tax Cuts, Unemployment, War, War On Voting, Wingnuts
Posted in Abortion Rights, Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, Global Warming, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Medicare Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Tax & Budget Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »
Saturday, December 24th, 2011
This TSA incident surely takes the cake:
A woman says an airport security officer in Las Vegas confiscated her frosted cupcake because he thought the icing on it could be explosive.
It seems the TSA agent told her the cupcake’s “frosting was ‘gel-like’ enough to constitute a security risk.”
TSA Rules Still Don’t Gel (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The TSA rules must be eased
Cuz a cupcake in Vegas was seized.
And when icing on cakes
Is deemed fishy, it makes
All the TSA guys look diseased.
Tags: Air Travel Satire, Airline Limerick, Airline Verse, Airport Humor, Cupcake Threat, Icing On The Cake, Las Vegas, Nevada, Terrorism, Transportation Humor, Transportation Security Administration, Travel Humor, TSA
Posted in National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Terrorism, Transportation Safety | 3 Comments »
Monday, May 9th, 2011
By now you’ve surely heard that the Brooklyn-based Hasidic newspaper Der Tzitung “disappeared” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and another woman from the iconic White House Situation Room photo, taken while the Osama bin Laden attack was going down:
The original photo, taken as the raid was occurring, famously shows Clinton in the center of the room, with her hand over her mouth. But the newspaper Der Tzitung, described by the Jewish Week as “ultra-Orthodox,” has a policy of never printing photos of women in its pages because it thinks they could be sexually suggestive. Thus, Clinton and counterterrorism director Audrey Tomason, who was seen standing at the back of the room, were removed from the picture.
In a non-apology apology, Der Tzitung said in part:
In accord with our religious beliefs, we do not publish photos of women, which in no way relegates them to a lower status. Publishing a newspaper is a big responsibility, and our policies are guided by a Rabbinical Board. Because of laws of modesty, we are not allowed to publish pictures of women, and we regret if this gives an impression of disparaging to women, which is certainly never our intention. We apologize if this was seen as offensive.
Some people may find the following limerick to be offensive. And to them I say, too damn bad!
Hillary Clinton — Bombshell? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
What a shame that some men are so weak,
They can’t handle so much as a peek
Of a Hillary pic.
Seems they fear that their dick
Can’t withstand her alluring physique.
UPDATE: A very funny take on this same topic.
Tags: Audrey Tomason, Brooklyn, Der Tzitung, Feminist Limerick, Hasidic Newspapers, Hillary Clinton, Laws Of Modesty, Media Humor, Orthodox Media, Osama Bin Laden, Photoshopping, Rabbinical Board, Religion Satire, Situation Room, White House
Posted in Feminism Humor, Hillary Clinton, Media Satire, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Religious Satire, White House | 22 Comments »
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011
A good way to gauge a Republican pol’s classiness quotient is his or her response to Osama bin Laden’s killing:
Do they congratulate everyone who deserves credit, including President Obama?
Do they act as if Barack Obama was merely carrying out Bush’s bidding?
Do they pretend Obama doesn’t even exist?
Needless to say, Sarah Palin has failed the classiness test.
Who’s Our President, Again?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some Republican comments show class
And give credit where due without sass:
Mitt Romney and Dub
And Pawlenty don’t snub
Prez Obama. But Palin’s an ass.
Tags: Barack Obama, Bin Laden, George W. Bush, Mitt Romney, Osama Bin Laden, Political Speech, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, Terrorism, Tim Pawlenty, Usama Bin Laden
Posted in Barack Obama, George Bush Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sarah Palin, Terrorism | 14 Comments »
Monday, May 2nd, 2011
Limerick Ode To Bin Laden’s Death
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans had a great plan:
Make Barack seem an alien man.
So bin Laden’s demise
(A stunning surprise)
Turns their plot to a flash in the pan.
Tags: Al Qaeda, Barack Obama, Bin Laden, Bin Laden's Death, Birthers, Osama Bin Laden, Republicans Humor, Terrorism, Terrorists, Usama Bin Laden
Posted in 44 Humor, Barack Obama, Birther Humor, GOP Humor, Military Humor, National Security Humor, Terrorism | 6 Comments »
Sunday, December 19th, 2010
If John McCain hadn’t done quite so much damage to our nation, I could almost feel sorry for him. After all, it’s hard not to pity a man who’s turned into a pathetic shell of a human being.
McCain’s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal temper tantrum is only the latest example of the sad, ugly person that McCain’s become:
A Tragic Limerick Ode To John McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
John McCain seems embittered and mean,
Acting worse than a badly raised teen.
His convictions? No more!
Just conniptions galore.
He’s lost heart, and he’s left with just spleen.
Tags: DADT, John McCain, Military, Republicans Humor, U.S. Senate
Posted in Don't Ask Don't Tell Humor, Gay Rights, John McCain, Legislation Humor, Military Humor, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 7 Comments »
Saturday, December 18th, 2010
I didn’t think Republicans could surprise me anymore. But I must confess to being stunned by Rep. Michele “Blabbermouth” Bachmann’s appointment by Boehner to the secretive House Intelligence Committee.
And it seems even Republican insiders share my astonishment:
Bachmann once suggested that Congress should investigate whether Democratic lawmakers were pro- or anti-America, and she’s been a cable TV favorite because she’s known for colorful sound bites.
On her Facebook page, Tea Party icon Bachmann said:
As a mother of five biological children and twenty-three foster children I pledge to do whatever I need to do to keep your family, my family, and the United States safe from harm.
I feel safer already. But I still had to write this limerick:
Intelligence Redesigned
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I don’t normally make much ado
‘Bout committee appointments. Do you?
But Intelligence? Bachmann?
That’s really a shock men.
I fear for its plunging IQ.
Tags: House Republicans, Intelligence Committee, John Boehner, Michele Bachmann
Posted in GOP Humor, House Satire, John Boehner, Michele Bachmann, National Security Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tea Parties, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
A Madman’s Motivations (2-Verse Limerick)
Monday, March 2nd, 2026Why did Trump start a Middle East war?
Was it boredom? A penchant for gore?
A great need to distract
From his failures? The fact
That The Donald’s insane to his core?
Or perhaps Trump is feeling the urgency
To declare a big wartime emergency,
Become Czar by decree,
Make the sane people flee…
And destroy any pro-Dem resurgency.
Tags: Donald Trump, Iran, Middle East War, Nuclear Weapons, Trump, War
Posted in Donald Trump, Foreign Policy, National Security Humor, Nuclear Weapons, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Trump, War & Antiwar Poems | No Comments »