Archive for the ‘Law Satire’ Category

“Thanking” Trump For Dobbs (Limerick)

Sunday, June 26th, 2022

Headline: “Trump takes credit for Dobbs decision but worries it ‘won’t help him in the future'”

The Donald takes credit for Dobbs.
Does he merit such “credit?” Yes, gobs!
The three judges he picked
For SCOTUS have kicked
Gals back ages … and that was their jobs.

My Roe v. Wade Rant (2-Verse Limerick)

Friday, June 24th, 2022

Five SCOTUS extremists decreed
In a dastardly GOP screed
That Roe v. Wade’s dead.
So it’s “Off with her head”
For pro-choicers, no matter the need.

If you value our lost right to choose,
You must vote; forget whining and booze.
Your life’s on the line!
Dump the GOP swine
And make sure all Republicans lose!

Supreme Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Saturday, March 26th, 2022

Dana Milbank’s column about “counterfeit commoners” inspired this two-verse limerick:

With hypocrisy Cotton’s replete,
As he trashes the “legal elite”
At Judge Brown Jackson’s hearing,
His rhetoric searing
With “Fake Commoner” Cotton deceit.

It appears that Tom Cotton forgot
His two Harvard degrees. Oh, what rot!
One’s in gov., one’s in law.
Is “eliteness” a flaw?
Then he has it, which hampers his plot.

Jackasses Attack Jackson (Limerick)

Thursday, March 24th, 2022

The Republicans’ racist attacks
On Brown Jackson ignored all the facts.
And their dog whistle smears
Even pissed off some peers:
Sasse assessment? “Jackassery” acts.

Probing Limerick

Thursday, January 27th, 2022

Headline: “Plea Deal for Man Involved In Matt Gaetz Probe”

If a man “dates” a minor, then smite ’im,
And kindly don’t call them an “item.”
An underaged girl
Shouldn’t be given a whirl…
And the law should step in and indict ’im.

An Out-Of-Control U.S. Supreme Court? (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021

Headline: “Supreme Court appears skeptical of New York’s restrictive gun-control law”

New York gun control’s likely to slip,
Cuz the highest Fed Court lacks a grip
On our big city needs
To forestall deadly deeds.
I just hope it won’t shoot from the hip!

Isn’t The Trump Grand Jury Grand? (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 26th, 2021

Will Trump’s CFO drop a dime
On the Donald? It’s surely high time!
A grand jury’s convened,
So here’s hoping that fiend
Is convicted of many a crime.

Trump Lashes Out Against Letitia James (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 19th, 2021

After learning that New York AG Letitia James is pursuing a criminal investigation into the Trump Organization, and that she’s working with Manhattan DA Cy Vance, Donald Trump posted a lengthy blog rant, which could have benefited from paragraphing … and sanity.

Donald Trump seems distressed and upset.
It appears he is starting to fret
That he’ll spend his last days
In prolonged prison stays.
James and Vance pose a serious threat!

Sidney Powell’s Risible Defense (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2021

The basis for Sidney Powell’s defense in the Dominion defamation case is that her claims about Dominion were too wacko to be believed by reasonable people.

Sidney Powell’s defense to the suit
For defaming Dominion’s a hoot:
Since her claims re Dominion
Were dubious opinion,
The judge has to boot the dispute.

Trump On The Defense? (Limerick)

Sunday, January 31st, 2021

From CNN: “Former President Donald Trump’s five impeachment defense attorneys have left a little more than a week before his trial is set to begin…”

“Mass election fraud — that’s my defense,”
Insisted the Donald, intense.
So his lawyers all quit:
“We’re not selling that shit!”
Donald’s lie ain’t just “big.” It’s immense!

Georgia On His Mind (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 5th, 2021

Headline: “Judge Shoots Down Last-Ditch Trump Lawsuit Looking to Overturn Georgia Loss”

Poor Donald keeps losing in court;
Filing spurious suits is his forte.
Each “disgraceful” court loss
Makes him bitter and cross,
As Trump’s time in the Oval grows short.

Pondering Pardons (Limerick)

Thursday, December 24th, 2020

Trump’s been pardoning felons galore,
Cuz Donald’s a thief at his core.
He finds something to laud
In both war crimes and fraud.
You’re scum? That’s what pardons are for!

Time’s Up! (Limerick)

Saturday, December 12th, 2020

Dear Donald, enough with your moaning
And bitching and whining and groaning!
Your lies about wins
Lead a long list of sins.
My suggestion: Some prison atoning.

Will It Never End? (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 8th, 2020

Enduring Trump’s reign has been hard;
Our nation’s been tainted and scarred.
So this question’s arisen:
Is tweeting in prison
Permitted? Please tell me it’s barred!

Pondering Pardons (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2020

Is the almost-ex-prez on the skids?
Will he pardon himself and his kids?
While we don’t know for sure,
Seems he’ll never abjure
Engaging in acts law forbids.

Yet Another “If Trump Could Write Limericks”

Tuesday, October 6th, 2020

Headline: “Trump Halts Pandemic Relief Negotiations”

No relief bill this month, on reflection,
Cuz the Senate’s sole job’s my selection
For our land’s highest bench.
Judge Amy’s a wench
Who has earned my support and affection.

Another Promise Unkept (Limerick)

Friday, August 28th, 2020

Trump way back in 2016: “I am the law and order candidate.”

“Law and Order’s” a Trump campaign vow,
But the promise that Trump’s making now
Is a ’16 repeat
That he broke. So unseat
Donald Trump and let Joe take a bow.

Our Lawless President (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 24th, 2019

Trump delays and defies and he sues;
His flawed policy’s thwart and refuse.
Tell him “Follow the law,”
And he’ll yell or guffaw.
Don’t believe it? Try reading real news.

“Otherwise Blameless?” (Quatrain)

Saturday, March 9th, 2019

Headline: “How could anyone think Paul Manafort lived an ‘otherwise blameless’ life?”

NOT a limerick:

Judge Ellis while sentencing Paul
Said his life has been “otherwise blameless.”
But that claim just ain’t true. Not at all!
Seems both Paul and Judge Ellis are shameless.

Open 3-Verse Limerick To Donald Trump

Sunday, January 6th, 2019

I won’t ask you, dear Trump, not to lie.
You can’t stop, so don’t bother to try.
And nor will I ask
You to do any task
That requires a warm-hearted guy.

And there’s really no need to pretend
That the law isn’t something you bend
To benefit you
And a very small few:
Your children … and maybe a friend.

I won’t EVEN say, Donald don’t whine.
You can’t help it, I know, so that’s fine.
I’ve a single request,
And it isn’t “Be Best.”
I am begging you: Kindly Resign!