Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category

Gov. DeSantis’s Reign Is A Killer (Limerick)

Thursday, August 12th, 2021

Headline: “DeSantis rakes in cash as Florida’s Covid wars rage”

Gov. DeSantis is raking in bread,
While his rules boost the number of dead.
His “pro-freedom” brand
Brings in cash, so he’s banned
Ev’ry mandate that slows Covid’s spread.

Not Masking My Frustration (Limerick)

Sunday, August 1st, 2021

Please tell me you’re pulling my leg
When you say there’s a spanking new reg:
The “no mask” rule’s been axed
For those who’ve been vaxxed?
Will you say it’s not true, if I beg?

Trump-Sycophant McCarthy Can’t Handle The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 21st, 2021

Headline: “McCarthy pulls his 5 GOP members from 1/6 committee after Pelosi rejects 2 of his picks”

When McCarthy named Jordan and Banks
To the One/Six Committee, “No thanks!”
Was the answer he got
And WANTED; his plot
Was to pull his five picks from the ranks.

Fox Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Monday, July 12th, 2021

Fox Newsers may cause the demise
Of their viewers with anti-vax cries.
“It’s my body,” they whine.
“It’s my choice!” Yet they’re fine
With abortion rights cut down to size.

Yet Another Trump Lawsuit (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 7th, 2021

Subheading: “Trump claims social media companies are ‘government’ actors. Attorneys say his lawsuit is a ‘pathetic joke'”

Donald loves filing spurious suits.
They are fund-raising schemes at their roots.
Plus they give him a chance
To play martyr. Trump’s stance?
He’s our prey, and we’re all in cahoots.

Republican Quandary (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 6th, 2021

Headline: “GOP 2024 hopefuls face challenge: Not upsetting Trump”

“The Hill” tells us something we know
About GOP prez-hopefuls’ woe:
They must NOT rile the prickly
Ex-prez, yet act quickly.
Avoid venom from Trump? Ho, ho, ho!

Patriotic Query (Limerick)

Monday, July 5th, 2021

If you fly the American flag,
Many think you’re a Trumpster. I gag
At this terrible blunder,
Then ponder and wonder:
How’d our flag get a GOP tag?

Trump’s Revenge Tour (Limerick)

Monday, June 28th, 2021

Headline: “Trump’s revenge tour begins with eyes on one Ohio Republican”

Boorish Trump’s seeking vengeance on tour.
His goal? Instill fear and ensure
That the pols who defied him
And dare to deride him
Are shunned, cast aside like manure.

Two “Critical Race Theory” Limericks

Saturday, June 19th, 2021

“Hey teach, why the day off from school
On Juneteenth? A new holiday’s cool!
But what does it mean?”
“I can’t tell you, Eugene.
If I do, I’ll be sacked. That’s the rule.”

**************

There are many Republican fans
Of “Critical Race Theory” bans.
It’s been outlawed in Texas,
A lunatic nexus…
Filled with folks who hate blacks, gays, and trans.

The Boor Tour (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

To this headline, an “OY!” and a limerick: “Donald Trump To Go On Speaking Tour With Bill O’Reilly To Talk Up His Presidency”

Two fellows, each one a big boor,
Have announced their December joint tour.
It’s O’Reilly and Trump;
Each speaker, a grump,
A liar, a letch, and a snore.

Joe Manchin’s Fantasy (Limerick)

Sunday, June 6th, 2021

Headline: “Fox News’ Chris Wallace Confronts Joe Manchin Over ‘Being Naive’ About Bipartisan Cooperation”

How can Manchin remain so deluded?
Were he lucid, he SHOULD have concluded
That bipartisanship
Is a fantasy trip
That will leave Biden’s vision denuded.

Trump’s Latest Lie (Limerick)

Thursday, June 3rd, 2021

Reinstatement will happen this year
In August, claims Trump. So I fear
That derangement won’t end
And our nation can’t mend
While treachery’s still his career.

Our Nixed Commission Fix (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2021

Our land’s in a terrible fix
When Republican Senators nix
A bipartisan group
Meant to get us the scoop
On what happened this year on 1/6.

Trumps Dog-GONE Blog (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2021

Headline: “Trump blog page shuts down for good”

Big news: Seems the Donald has dumped
His new blog because int’rest has slumped.
Even fans found it boring.
(And some were caught snoring.)
It appears that the Donald’s been trumped.

If Trump Disappeared, Who’d Hunt For Him? (Limerick)

Monday, May 31st, 2021

This comment by former GOP Rep. Barbara Comstock made me laugh and inspired my latest limerick: “If Donald Trump disappeared tomorrow, I don’t think you’d have many Republicans in the search party. Maybe a few prosecutors. But not Republicans.”

If Trump disappeared, just how hard
Would pols look for that large tub of lard?
Who but those with indictments
Would have the incitements
To secure him in jail under guard?

Isn’t The Trump Grand Jury Grand? (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 26th, 2021

Will Trump’s CFO drop a dime
On the Donald? It’s surely high time!
A grand jury’s convened,
So here’s hoping that fiend
Is convicted of many a crime.

CNN Ousts Rick Santorum (Limerick)

Saturday, May 22nd, 2021

Headline: “CNN Drops Rick Santorum After Racist Comments About Native Americans”

CNN has dumped Rick J. Santorum
(Though Republicans seem to adore’m.)
With insults creative,
He dissed all our Native
Americans, breaching decorum.

GOP Pols think Trump’s still relevant, but IS he? (Limerick)

Saturday, May 22nd, 2021

If you’re wond’ring how Trump’s blog has fared,
Donald’s blog posts are NOT widely shared.
His traffic has slumped,
And his fans don’t seem pumped.
Could it be they’re no longer ensnared?

Trump Lashes Out Against Letitia James (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 19th, 2021

After learning that New York AG Letitia James is pursuing a criminal investigation into the Trump Organization, and that she’s working with Manhattan DA Cy Vance, Donald Trump posted a lengthy blog rant, which could have benefited from paragraphing … and sanity.

Donald Trump seems distressed and upset.
It appears he is starting to fret
That he’ll spend his last days
In prolonged prison stays.
James and Vance pose a serious threat!

Supreme Court Wades Into Roe v. Wade (Limerick)

Monday, May 17th, 2021

Will SCOTUS reverse Roe v. Wade?
The bricks for that act have been laid;
All the Justices named
By Trump have long aimed
At ensuring that “choice” rights degrade.