Archive for the ‘Feminism Humor’ Category

Pence Ain’t A Saint (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

Headline: “Pence: ‘We must not rest’ until abortion is outlawed in every state”

On One/Six, Pence behaved like a man;
He helped scuttle Trump’s scurrilous plan.
But enough with the praise!
Re abortion, he’d raze
Women’s rights with a nationwide ban.

“Thanking” Trump For Dobbs (Limerick)

Sunday, June 26th, 2022

Headline: “Trump takes credit for Dobbs decision but worries it ‘won’t help him in the future'”

The Donald takes credit for Dobbs.
Does he merit such “credit?” Yes, gobs!
The three judges he picked
For SCOTUS have kicked
Gals back ages … and that was their jobs.

My Roe v. Wade Rant (2-Verse Limerick)

Friday, June 24th, 2022

Five SCOTUS extremists decreed
In a dastardly GOP screed
That Roe v. Wade’s dead.
So it’s “Off with her head”
For pro-choicers, no matter the need.

If you value our lost right to choose,
You must vote; forget whining and booze.
Your life’s on the line!
Dump the GOP swine
And make sure all Republicans lose!

Mother’s Day Redefined

Sunday, May 8th, 2022

Mother’s Day Redefined:

When Supreme Court Justices and other misogynist Republicans celebrate women being FORCED to be mothers.

******

Chief Justice Roberts should focus less on the leak & more on the “I believe in stare decisis” perjurers sitting on his bench.

Fox Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Monday, July 12th, 2021

Fox Newsers may cause the demise
Of their viewers with anti-vax cries.
“It’s my body,” they whine.
“It’s my choice!” Yet they’re fine
With abortion rights cut down to size.

If Susan B. Anthony Could Write Limericks

Tuesday, August 18th, 2020

“President Donald Trump on Tuesday signed a pardon for women’s suffrage icon Susan B. Anthony, who was arrested in 1872 for casting a ballot when women could not vote.”

Dear Donald, your pardon’s rejected;
I despise pardonees you’ve protected!
Stop pretending to care
About gals, and don’t dare
Use my pardon to get reelected.

I Dislike Likability (Limerick)

Sunday, May 5th, 2019

Headline: “Is ‘Likability’ Biased Towards Men?”

“Likability” — what a odd word;
It appears that most any male turd
Can be deemed by the press
As more likable — yes —
Than a non-turd-like female. Absurd!

Sue Collins Only Wants To Be “Bribed” By Plutocrats (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 12th, 2018

Headline: “Collins calls crowdfunding to get her to oppose Kavanaugh a ‘bribe'”

Anti-Kavanaugh crowd-funding’s bribery?
That’s Sue Collins’ opprobrious gibery
About voters pro-choice
When raising their voice
About threats based on Kavanaugh’s scribery.

Never Judge A Bloke By His Mild-Mannered Cover! (Limerick)

Thursday, October 6th, 2016

Mike Pence is even worse on women’s health issues than I thought: As a Congressman, it was Pence who introduced the first bill to block Planned Parenthood funding. He even fathered the Republican habit of blocking essential bills and threatening government shutdowns over defunding Planned Parenthood. So it’s time for a limerick:

Trump’s a sexist, we rail and we fret,
But here’s something we’d best not forget:
Pence invented the scheme
V. Planned Parenthood. Scream
To the rafters: “Mike Pence is a threat!”

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)

Monday, April 21st, 2014

I just love Jeff Greenfield’s take on the “Baby Clinton Madness.” I’m referring, of course, to all the nonsensical opinionating about its effect (or non-effect) on Hillary Clinton’s presumed presidential candidacy.

Infantile Pundits Give Birth To More Wind (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

OMG! Chelsea Clinton’s with child!
Watch political gas-bags go wild,
As they mindlessly mine
Its effects and opine.
Yes, those pundits are rightly reviled.

Limerick Ode To Phyllis Schlafly

Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

Limerick Ode To Phyllis Schlafly
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Schlafly’s latest is nuts — no surprise!
But the GOP finds her so wise:
It seems gals will be left
Without husbands — bereft…
If we’re paid just as much as the guys.

This isn’t a joke: Phyllis Schlafly really wrote this in the Christian Post:

Suppose the pay gap between men and women were magically eliminated. If that happened, simple arithmetic suggests that half of women would be unable to find what they regard as a suitable mate.

How NOT To Woo Women Voters (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

How NOT To Woo Women Voters (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

We women are “whiners,” they bray.
We “lie” that there’s “no equal pay.”
That’s the GOP line,
And it suits me just fine:
On Election Day, gals get their say.

Limerick Ode To Bossy Sheryl Sandberg

Monday, March 10th, 2014

Purported feminist Sheryl Sandberg was apparently so traumatized by being called “bossy” as a girl, that she wants that epithet banned. She claims it impedes the will to become a leader.

So publicity hound “feminist” advocate Sandberg, having moved on from her “lean in” tripe, “is launching a public service campaign aimed at getting rid of the word ‘bossy.'” Hey, priorities are priorities.

Here’s Facebook COO Sandberg discussing her project to outlaw what she calls “the other B-word:”

This is a very negative experience for girls, if you look at my childhood, if you look at the childhood of most of the leaders we talked to, they lived through being told they were bossy,” Sandberg said. “And it has such a strongly female, and such a strongly negative connotation, that we thought the best way to raise awareness was to say, “This isn’t a word we should use. Let’s start encouraging girls to lead.”

Now, that’s some fascinating logic: Female leaders were so traumatized by being called “bossy” when they were young, that they were discouraged from leading. And so they became … leaders?!?

Hmmmm… Instead of banning the word “bossy” as applied to girls, perhaps we should make it compulsory.

Limerick Ode To Bossy Sheryl Sandberg
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sheryl Sandberg has made a demand
That the adjective “bossy” be banned.
Here’s the thrust of her screed:
Girls called “bossy” won’t lead.
Ain’t simplistic analysis grand?

Those Sensitive Republicans (Limerick)

Thursday, December 5th, 2013

According to a Politico story, Republicans pols and staffers are being given remedial sensitivity training to avoid further Todd Akin-style gaffes and to contend with the party’s gender gap.

Those Sensitive Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans, fearful of gaffes,
Are coaching both Congress and staffs
How to talk to a dame.
(Non-offense is their aim.)
How ’bout policy change, just for laughs?

A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)

Friday, June 28th, 2013

Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner’s proposed bill regulating men’s reproductive health inspired this multi-verse limerick:

A Modest Men’s Reproductive Health Reg Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Republican men who insist
On controlling gals’ bodies, we’re pissed.
Since what’s good for the goose
(It’s plain to deduce)
Suits the gander, I’ve drawn up this list:

Viagra henceforth is restricted
To those who can prove they’re afflicted
Via sex partner swearing
You’re impotent, sharing
Your plight through oath uncontradicted.

You must also sex therapy seek
To help you reach sexual peak.
And we’ll force you to take
A stress test, you rake,
And prove that your heart isn’t weak.

In addition, your doc must advise you
About celibacy and apprise you
It’s a “viable choice.”
Yes your doc must give voice
To your options, cuz some may surprise you.

Only then, will the state let your doc
Prescribe any meds for your cock.
After counsel advising
Of side effects rising
From ED pills — nothing to mock.

From then on, you’ll be monitored too
To make sure that your heart ain’t askew.
You’ll be checked and re-tested.
The state is invested
In protecting you guys when you screw.

If you think that such regs are intrusive,
Insulting, and even abusive,
All these rules don’t compare
To what women must bear:
Female freedom is gravely elusive.

Mitch’s Knucklehead Pitch (Limerick)

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

I can only assume that when Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell looks in the mirror, he somehow sees a very youthful, attractive fellow. Otherwise he would surely avoid making this ageist, lookist, and sexist jab at Hillary Clinton:

“Finally, don’t tell me that Democrats are the party of the future when their presidential ticket for 2016 is shaping up to look like a rerun of the ‘Golden Girls,’” McConnell said in his morning address to CPAC, drawing laughter and applause.

Mitch’s Knucklehead Pitch (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Someone ought to inform Leader Mitch
Of his party’s new “lure women” pitch:
Saying Hillary C-run
Is Golden Girls rerun
Most likely won’t tempt us to switch.

“Midlife Crisis” FLOTUS-Style (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

Michelle Obama addressed the burning question of her bangs on the Rachael Ray Show:

“This is my midlife crisis, the bangs. I couldn’t get a sports car,” she told Ray about the inspiration for her trendy new look. “They won’t let me bungee jump. So instead, I cut my bangs.”

“Midlife Crisis” FLOTUS-Style (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“How dare you get bangs,” they harangue.
Michelle laughs at the Sturm and the Drang:
Bungee jumping was out.
So’s a sports car, no doubt.
So she changed up her “do” with a bang.

White House Diversity’s Owed (Limerick)

Thursday, January 10th, 2013

I have nothing against white guys. (Some of my best husbands are white guys.) But President Obama’s second term appointments are really starting to annoy me.

White House Diversity’s Owed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Where’s Obama’s diversity minder–
His “qualified female” staff finder?
He’s named white guys galore
To positions top-drawer.
Perhaps he should borrow Mitt’s binder.

Limerick Ode To Tommy Thompson

Saturday, November 3rd, 2012

Stay classy, Tommy Thompson:

Former Gov. Tommy Thompson, a Wisconsin Republican running for Senate, recently suggested that his wife was to blame for his decision to end his career in public service and join a lobbying firm because she “likes to shop.”

Limerick Ode To Tommy Thompson
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In the cringe-worthy GOP crop
Thompson’s coarseness continues to pop.
He defends with a smirk
His lobbying work:
Needed money — “my wife likes to shop.”

Limerick Ode To Richard Mourdoch

Thursday, October 25th, 2012

Every time I think Republicans couldn’t possibly get crazier or more extreme about banning abortion, someone like Indiana’s Richard Mourdoch proves me wrong.

By now, the would-be senator’s bizarre comments about abortion and rape, and his non-apology apology are all too familiar. So is the fact that Romney has refused to withdraw his endorsement and his pro-Mourdoch ad.

So I’ll simply leave you with this serious limerick:

Limerick Ode To Richard Mourdoch
By Madeleine Begun Kane

By Mourdoch, I’m shocked — left agape:
He claims if you’re pregnant from rape,
It’s a God-given gift.
So how dare you be miffed!
Your future’s not yours to reshape.