Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category

Trump-Sycophant McCarthy Can’t Handle The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 21st, 2021

Headline: “McCarthy pulls his 5 GOP members from 1/6 committee after Pelosi rejects 2 of his picks”

When McCarthy named Jordan and Banks
To the One/Six Committee, “No thanks!”
Was the answer he got
And WANTED; his plot
Was to pull his five picks from the ranks.

Republican Quandary (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 6th, 2021

Headline: “GOP 2024 hopefuls face challenge: Not upsetting Trump”

“The Hill” tells us something we know
About GOP prez-hopefuls’ woe:
They must NOT rile the prickly
Ex-prez, yet act quickly.
Avoid venom from Trump? Ho, ho, ho!

NYC’s Board Of Elections Blows It Again (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 30th, 2021

Headline: “New York Mayor’s Race in Chaos After Elections Board Counts 135,000 Test Ballots”

New York’s contest for mayor’s been thrown
Into chaos; its tally’s been blown
By The Board of Elections,
Whose ballot corrections
Will be tainted — the truth deemed unknown.

Trump’s Revenge Tour (Limerick)

Monday, June 28th, 2021

Headline: “Trump’s revenge tour begins with eyes on one Ohio Republican”

Boorish Trump’s seeking vengeance on tour.
His goal? Instill fear and ensure
That the pols who defied him
And dare to deride him
Are shunned, cast aside like manure.

Joe Manchin’s Quest (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2021

Opinion Headline: “Joe Manchin’s ‘help wanted’ ad: 10 reasonable Republicans”

Manchin’s quest is for something that’s rare:
10 Republicans, decent and fair.
While I wish Manchin luck
And admire his pluck,
He’ll be stuck in the muck of despair.

My Primary Problem (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2021

It’s Primary Day here, and so…
It is off to the polls we must go.
But these ballots are weird;
Far worse than I feared!
Ranked choice voting? I’d rather vote “NO!”

Trump’s Latest Lie (Limerick)

Thursday, June 3rd, 2021

Reinstatement will happen this year
In August, claims Trump. So I fear
That derangement won’t end
And our nation can’t mend
While treachery’s still his career.

Limerick Ode To Kevin McCarthy

Monday, May 10th, 2021

Headline: “Kevin McCarthy is pushing Liz Cheney out for saying almost exactly what he said after January 6”

Kev McCarthy’s politically hollow;
There is only one person he’ll follow,
And it’s scam-meister Trump!
You won’t ass-kiss that lump?
That’s one “crime” Kev refuses to swallow.

Trump’s Donation Scam (Limerick)

Monday, April 5th, 2021

Headline: “How Trump Steered Supporters Into Unwitting Donations”

Donald Trump raked in money; a mint
From his fans, who had nary a hint
Of the sums they had given.
To shock they were driven
By boxes (pre-checked) and small print.

The Meddling “Former Guy” (Limerick)

Thursday, March 4th, 2021

“Republicans are sounding the alarm that his attempts to meddle in primaries could hurt the party’s efforts to win back the majority”

GOPers are worried and fretting;
They’re afraid that Trump’s meddling’s abetting
The Dems in the House.
For they bet on a louse,
Whose candidate picks have them sweating.

What Will It Take For Pence To Stop Repeating Trump’s Lies? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 4th, 2021

My latest limerick was inspired by a recent Mike Pence op-ed in The Daily Signal. Here’s how he begins: “After an election marked by significant voting irregularities and numerous instances of officials setting aside state election law, I share the concerns of millions of Americans about the integrity of the 2020 election.”

Dear Mike Pence, I am forced to surmise
That you haven’t stopped backing Trump’s lies.
He endangered your life!
Yet your statements are rife
With Trump myths. That’s bizarre and unwise.

Obsequious Republicans (Limerick)

Monday, February 15th, 2021

GOPers are weary and sick
Of defending that scurrilous Dick.
Yet they’re loath to abort
Their debased Trump support.
Are they cowards, or frauds? Take your pick!

Two-Faced Mitch (Limerick)

Monday, February 15th, 2021

Mitch is trying to have it both ways:
First he joins in the “Don’t Convict!” nays.
Then he spouts a critique
Of Trump’s actions, with pique.
For hypocrisy (rank!) he wants praise?

In Acquitting Trump, GOP Senators Acquit Themselves Poorly (Limerick)

Sunday, February 14th, 2021

Trump’s acquittal by GOP wimps
Gave us more than a generous glimpse
At pols who enrolled
In the “Trump Cult” and sold
Off their souls; fawning wretches and simps!

Yet Another “If Trump Could Write Limericks”

Thursday, February 11th, 2021

With Trump finally out of office, I thought I was done writing “If Trump Could Write Limericks.” But apparently not.

So my crowd got a bit out of hand?
No big deal! I would never command
Them to kill, even maim,
And my language was tame.
This impeachment hoax ought to be banned!

Them’s Fightin’ Words! (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 9th, 2021

Headline: “Trump’s impeachment lawyers argue he only wanted supporters to ‘fight’ in ‘the figurative sense'”

Trump repeatedly told his mob “Fight!”
But he claims that he never meant “Smite!”
Funny thing though: his crowd
(MAGA-Cultish and Proud)
Clearly knew how to earn Trump’s delight.

Lou Dobbs Loses Job (Limerick)

Monday, February 8th, 2021

Headline: “Why Fox News canceled Lou Dobbs”

Lou Dobbs has been ousted by Fox
Cuz a lawsuit has Fox in a box.
Will Jeanine and Maria
Be next? Great idea!
May Smartmatic clean all their clocks!

Trump’s Case, In Brief (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021

Trump denies he incited a coup;
Says his voter fraud claims are all true;
And rejects any blame.
But the rioters claim:
“We did JUST what Trump told us to do.”

My Limerick Question Of The Day

Monday, February 1st, 2021

Embracing the fringe politicians
(Pols enamored of lies and seditions)
Is the GOP’s course.
Will this soon be its source
Of failing electoral missions?

Republican Appeasement (Limerick)

Monday, February 1st, 2021

GOPers, dishonest and lazy,
Keep appeasing the evil and crazy;
They excuse acts and views
Of both Trump cult and Qs.
That’s why GOP prospects look hazy.