Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category

The Key To Trump’s “Success” (Limerick)

Sunday, September 4th, 2022

When I ask myself, “How can it be
That no matter what Donald does, he
Somehow keeps a tight hold
On his fan base,” I’m told
That the answer’s a “huge BOOBOISIE.”

Pence Ain’t A Saint (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

Headline: “Pence: ‘We must not rest’ until abortion is outlawed in every state”

On One/Six, Pence behaved like a man;
He helped scuttle Trump’s scurrilous plan.
But enough with the praise!
Re abortion, he’d raze
Women’s rights with a nationwide ban.

A Riot Of A Story (Limerick)

Saturday, January 15th, 2022

Here’s the hilarious (and true) inspiration for my latest limerick:

Headline: “Capitol rioters called Nancy Pelosi’s office looking for a ‘lost and found’ for items they left behind on January 6, according to Rep. Jamie Raskin”

With the Capitol Building defaced,
Some One/Sixers departed in haste.
I must ask: Were they stoned
When post-riot they phoned
Pelosi for stuff they’d misplaced?

Political Haiku Trio 2

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

A resolution
for GOPers to try:
Stop Being Such Dicks!

Nixing worthy laws
To preserve filibuster?
Hope for us busted.

Donald Trump invents
Conditional Endorsement:
“Avenge me, or else!”

Dear Dems: DO Something! (Limerick)

Thursday, November 4th, 2021

The shellacking the Dems got this week
Means they’re weak and need more than a tweak.
What they’re doing ain’t working.
Disaster is lurking!
If the Dems don’t shape up, I shall freak.

Trump-Sycophant McCarthy Can’t Handle The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 21st, 2021

Headline: “McCarthy pulls his 5 GOP members from 1/6 committee after Pelosi rejects 2 of his picks”

When McCarthy named Jordan and Banks
To the One/Six Committee, “No thanks!”
Was the answer he got
And WANTED; his plot
Was to pull his five picks from the ranks.

Republican Quandary (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 6th, 2021

Headline: “GOP 2024 hopefuls face challenge: Not upsetting Trump”

“The Hill” tells us something we know
About GOP prez-hopefuls’ woe:
They must NOT rile the prickly
Ex-prez, yet act quickly.
Avoid venom from Trump? Ho, ho, ho!

NYC’s Board Of Elections Blows It Again (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 30th, 2021

Headline: “New York Mayor’s Race in Chaos After Elections Board Counts 135,000 Test Ballots”

New York’s contest for mayor’s been thrown
Into chaos; its tally’s been blown
By The Board of Elections,
Whose ballot corrections
Will be tainted — the truth deemed unknown.

Trump’s Revenge Tour (Limerick)

Monday, June 28th, 2021

Headline: “Trump’s revenge tour begins with eyes on one Ohio Republican”

Boorish Trump’s seeking vengeance on tour.
His goal? Instill fear and ensure
That the pols who defied him
And dare to deride him
Are shunned, cast aside like manure.

Trump’s Donation Scam (Limerick)

Monday, April 5th, 2021

Headline: “How Trump Steered Supporters Into Unwitting Donations”

Donald Trump raked in money; a mint
From his fans, who had nary a hint
Of the sums they had given.
To shock they were driven
By boxes (pre-checked) and small print.

The Meddling “Former Guy” (Limerick)

Thursday, March 4th, 2021

“Republicans are sounding the alarm that his attempts to meddle in primaries could hurt the party’s efforts to win back the majority”

GOPers are worried and fretting;
They’re afraid that Trump’s meddling’s abetting
The Dems in the House.
For they bet on a louse,
Whose candidate picks have them sweating.

Obsequious Republicans (Limerick)

Monday, February 15th, 2021

GOPers are weary and sick
Of defending that scurrilous Dick.
Yet they’re loath to abort
Their debased Trump support.
Are they cowards, or frauds? Take your pick!

Two-Faced Mitch (Limerick)

Monday, February 15th, 2021

Mitch is trying to have it both ways:
First he joins in the “Don’t Convict!” nays.
Then he spouts a critique
Of Trump’s actions, with pique.
For hypocrisy (rank!) he wants praise?

In Acquitting Trump, GOP Senators Acquit Themselves Poorly (Limerick)

Sunday, February 14th, 2021

Trump’s acquittal by GOP wimps
Gave us more than a generous glimpse
At pols who enrolled
In the “Trump Cult” and sold
Off their souls; fawning wretches and simps!

Yet Another “If Trump Could Write Limericks”

Thursday, February 11th, 2021

With Trump finally out of office, I thought I was done writing “If Trump Could Write Limericks.” But apparently not.

So my crowd got a bit out of hand?
No big deal! I would never command
Them to kill, even maim,
And my language was tame.
This impeachment hoax ought to be banned!

Them’s Fightin’ Words! (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 9th, 2021

Headline: “Trump’s impeachment lawyers argue he only wanted supporters to ‘fight’ in ‘the figurative sense'”

Trump repeatedly told his mob “Fight!”
But he claims that he never meant “Smite!”
Funny thing though: his crowd
(MAGA-Cultish and Proud)
Clearly knew how to earn Trump’s delight.

Trump’s Case, In Brief (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021

Trump denies he incited a coup;
Says his voter fraud claims are all true;
And rejects any blame.
But the rioters claim:
“We did JUST what Trump told us to do.”

My Limerick Question Of The Day

Monday, February 1st, 2021

Embracing the fringe politicians
(Pols enamored of lies and seditions)
Is the GOP’s course.
Will this soon be its source
Of failing electoral missions?

Republican Appeasement (Limerick)

Monday, February 1st, 2021

GOPers, dishonest and lazy,
Keep appeasing the evil and crazy;
They excuse acts and views
Of both Trump cult and Qs.
That’s why GOP prospects look hazy.

Kevin McCarthy Makes Nicey-Nicey With Trump (Limerick)

Thursday, January 28th, 2021

Headline: “McCarthy Kisses Trump’s Ring After Briefly Acknowledging Ex-POTUS’s Role In Insurrection”

Rep. McCarthy’s still kissing the ring
Of the Donald — a very odd thing.
You’d expect some disquiet
From Donald Trump’s riot…
Which endangered both left and right wing.