Dear Red State Would-Be Secessionists: Buh-Bye! (Limerick)

Shush! Please don’t tell all those Red State would-be secessionists what a great deal they have right now. And how much better off financially we Blue Staters would be, if the sore loser Red Staters successfully seceded.

… a large number of patriotic Americans, mostly from states won by Mitt Romney last week, have petitioned the White House to let them secede. They should be careful about what they wish for. It would be excellent financial news for those of us left behind if Obama were to grant a number of the rebel states their wish “to withdraw from the United States and create [their] own NEW government” (the petitions emphasize “new” by capitalizing it).

Red states receive, on average, far more from the federal government in expenditures than they pay in taxes. The balance is the opposite in blue states. The secession petitions, therefore, give the opportunity to create what would be, in a fiscal sense, a far more perfect union.

Dear Red State Would-Be Secessionists: Buh-Bye! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Greedy Red States who want to secede
Are “takers” and foolish indeed.
From the Fed they get more
Than they send — they’ll be poor
If they leave, and the Blues will be freed.

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4 Responses to “Dear Red State Would-Be Secessionists: Buh-Bye! (Limerick)”

  1. John Sardo says:

    The Red States want to secede
    Some people are just smokin’ weed
    They’re takers for sure
    Owe the nation galore
    From their debts we all will be freed.

  2. oudiva says:

    Red states start a secession drive!
    Their sanity’s taken a dive!
    Some heads are so hot
    That some hist’ry’s forgot:
    Like events from 1865!

  3. darthmeow504 says:

    I still say we give them Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma and Arkansas. They can make Kansas City their capital and use the Mississippi / Missouri river system for a trade route. All the wingnuts can move there, and they can have their right wing theocracy to their heart’s content. Good riddance.

  4. madkane says:

    Thanks for everyone comments and verse!