Archive for March, 2008

An Ode To Lefty Bloggers Who Hate Hillary Clinton (Updated)

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

An Ode To Lefty Bloggers Who Hate Hillary (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama supporters proclaim
That Clinton must quit, hurling blame,
Shrieking “Stop this damn fray!”
Dems love fighters, they say.
But not if the fighter’s a dame.

UPDATE: After posting this, I went searching for some bloggers who are rational on the subject of Clinton and Obama. Here’s what I found:

Take Your Boobs And Go Home Watch
Krugman Reads His Hillary
Obama Likes GOP Foreign Policy
Obama To Blame If The Dem Contest Goes To The Convention
Dear Democratic Elite: Back Off
It’s going past Denver
The World Is Watching[tags]Lefty Blogs Humor, Presidential Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, Democrats Limerick, Gender Humor, White House Verse[/tags]

Ode To John “Maverick” McCain

Thursday, March 27th, 2008

Apparently, maverick is a synonym for felon.  Who knew?

Ode To John “Maverick” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A law breaker — that’s John McCain,
Treating FEC regs with disdain.
Having championed those rules,
He plays us for fools.
Yet we still hear the mav’rick refrain.[tags]Senator John McCain Humor, McCain Maverick Satire, Election Humor, Campaign Satire, FEC Humor, White House Humor, Media Humor[/tags]

Presidential Election Blues

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Presidential Election Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While pundits bloviate,
Candidates exaggerate,
Flirt with fourth estate
And would-be running mate.

They travel multi-state,
Wooing pools of voter-bait.
Think the Oval’s their fate.
Hardly ever talk straight.

Their resumes inflate.
They claim opponents don’t rate.
Prez debates?  Not great.
November 5th —  can’t wait![tags]Campaign Satire, Presidential Election Humor, White House Poetry[/tags]

Ode To Colorado: Nanny State

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008

Jeralyn over at Talk Left has declared Colorado to be a “Nanny State.”  Why? Because its Appeals Court has decreed that Colorado no-smoking laws apply to actors on stage.

(Coincidentally, just last night my husband and I saw an Off-Broadway play during which two of the actors smoked.  In fact, we got a second-row contact-high from one of them.)

But getting back to the Colorado judiciary, the court deserves a limerick, don’t you think?

Ode To Colorado: Nanny State
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“No smoking on stage!” says the judge,
Cuz “No smoking indoors!” He won’t budge.
So no matter the role,
There’s a no-smoke patrol.
Soon they won’t let their actors eat fudge.

You can find more of my smoking-related humor here and my theater-related humor here.)[tags]Legal Satire, Judge Humor, No-Smoking Humor, Smoking Laws, Theater Humor, Actors Verse[/tags]

Ode To “Foreign Policy Maven” McCain

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

The left blogosphere has been packed with stories about John “Foreign Policy Maven”  McCain’s serial gaffes, in which he confused Islam’s Sunni and Shiite sects while trying to prove Iran supports al-Qaeda in Iraq. His gaffes were so bad, even über-loyalist Joe Lieberman was forced to correct him.

So, can we expect major media columnists and talking heads to question McCain’s foreign policy prowess?  A small handful of fair-minded, insightful columnists like the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Dick Polman can be counted on at moments like this.   But in the main, I wouldn’t hold your breath.

And that brings me to my latest limerick: 

Ode To “Foreign Policy Maven” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John McCain’s expertise ain’t legit:
Sunni? Shiite? He doesn’t know shit.
So the man should be toast.
But the press let’s him coast
Cuz he’s great in a barbecue pit.

(For more humor on this topic, check out Joe Lieberman Has To Remind McCain He’s Not In Vietnam, by Don Davis.)[tags]Senator John McCain, Foreign Policy Expertise, Sunni, Shiite, Islam, McCain Barbecue, McCain Gaffes, al-Qaeda, Iran, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Media Humor[/tags]

Hillary Clinton Derangement Syndrome (Haiku)

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

Smearing Hillary,
Ignoring Barack’s foibles.
Must edit blogroll.

(For more on HCDS (Hillary Clinton Derangement Syndrome) read Left Coaster;  Hillary Clinton’s Internet Director Challenges Bloggers To Cover Obama Campaign Tactics;  Sherry Chandler;  Pro-Hillary Writers On Strike At Daily Kos;  Avedon Carol;  Obama News Anchor;  Carpetbagger Report;  Pen-Elayne;  Chalice Chick; and  Gene Lyons)[tags]Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Hillary Haiku, Obama Haiku, Clinton Derangement Syndrome[/tags]

Ode To Eliot Spitzer

Friday, March 14th, 2008

What does Spitzer’s downfall prove?  That you don’t have to be a Republican to be a hypocrite.

Eliot Spitzer deserves a limerick, don’t you think?

Ode To Eliot Spitzer
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Spitzer has said he abhors
Prostitution, he paid to use whores.
And one of his cons
Was he punished the johns
While committing their crime on all fours.

Obama Tries To Paint Over Politics As Usual

Saturday, March 8th, 2008

Barack Obama claims to be battling Hillary Clinton under a new set of political rules. But as Big Tent illustrates, his personal attacks on Clinton sound suspiciously like politics as usual.  And that brings me to my latest haiku:

The new politics,
Courtesy of Obama:
Old rules with feint-job.
[tags]Senator Obama, Senator Clinton, Campaign Satire, Presidential Election Humor, Obama Haiku, Obama Hypocrisy, Political Rules, Personal Attacks[/tags]

Hysterical Lefty Bloggers Whine For Clinton To Leave Obama Alone

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

Predictably, the A-list lefty blog-calls for Hillary to get out of the presidential race have continued, notwithstanding last night’s Hillary Clinton wins. Any minute now, I half-expect to read that Hillary’s refusal to bow out is racist.

Of course, these hand-the-nomination-to-its-rightful-owner rants come from the same bloggers who insist that Obama isn’t sexist and that the media hasn’t been biased against Clinton. (Americablog is but one example and no, I will not link to it.)

Apparently, these bloggers can’t wait for the media to turn its biased dirty tricks on Obama.  Because that’s exactly what will happen if/when Clinton is out of the picture:

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

The press guys can’t wait to declare
That Clinton’s kaput on the air.
Then they’ll turn on Barack:
They’ll malign and they’ll mock
Him, the way they hit Hill’ry. Beware![tags]Presidential Politics, Lefty Bloggers, Press Bias, Media Sexism, Racist Accusations, Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, Media Humor[/tags]

Election ’08 Haiku

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

U.S. middle class
Nickel-and-dimed by George Bush.
Change way overdue.

(Inspired by this change prompt.  And speaking of prompts, there’s still  time to participate in my limerick and haiku prompt. Its theme is walking.)

UPDATE: I just remembered another haiku I wrote about change several months ago:

“People want change,”
Claim presidential candidates.
I’d prefer twenties.[tags]Middle Class Humor, Bush Presidency, Presidential Election, George Bush Haiku, Bush Economy[/tags]