Posts Tagged ‘Vanity Humor’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TALE OR TAIL OR ENTAIL OR CURTAIL at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: July 24, 2021)

Saturday, July 10th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TALE OR TAIL OR ENTAIL OR CURTAIL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to VANITY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best VANITY-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on July 25, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 24, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my TALE/TAIL/ENTAIL/CURTAIL-rhyme limerick:

I’ve a crime tale entailing a tail.
Who’s the target? A male out on bail.
Law enforcement, you see,
Was convinced he would flee.
But their quarry just likes a good sail.

And here’s my VANITY-themed limerick:

A fellow who’d constantly train
Did it mostly because he was vain.
He’s paid a steep price
To simply look nice:
At thirty he’s using a cane.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MEAN or MIEN or DEMEAN at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 27, 2021)

Saturday, February 13th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MEAN or MIEN or DEMEAN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WEED(s), using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best -related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 28, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 27, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my Mean/Mien/Demean-rhyme limerick:

A man who had long gone to seed,
Once was hunky and handsome, indeed.
But no more; he is mean,
Vain, and even obscene,
And his visage now mirrors his greed.

And here’s my Weed(s)-themed limerick:

I’m irate and upset: I’ve been sued
By a cranky, litigious old dude,
Who claims that my weeds
Wrecked his lawn with their seeds.
He’s a lawyer, which means that I’m screwed.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MAIN or MANE or MAINE or DOMAIN at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Feb. 13, 2021 )

Saturday, January 30th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MAIN or MANE or MAINE or DOMAIN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BILLS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BILLS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 14, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 13, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my MAIN/MANE/MAINE/DOMAIN-rhyme limerick:

A wicked young woman from Maine
Had a mane that was dyed “pink champagne.”
Her name was Rosé
“No not ‘Rose,'” she would say
With disdain, being prickly and vain.

And here’s my BILLS-themed limerick:

The hall had a lovely array
Of flowers on fragrant display.
But the bride wasn’t pleased,
“I’m allergic,” she wheezed.
“If I’m dead, don’t expect me to pay.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

This Trend Sounds Fishy (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 11th, 2013

Yikes! Scrotum Rejuvenation??? Yes, this Hollywood male grooming trend sounds fictitious, but apparently isn’t.

This Trend Sounds Fishy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A new wrinkle in grooming appalls,
And it’s pricey — not offered in malls.
It stems out of a joke
From that George Clooney bloke:
“Tackle-tightening” — ironing your balls.

Note to Judd Apatow: I’d better not see any Tackle-Tightening in the 50 Year Old Virgin.

Note to George Clooney: Tell the truth: Were you REALLY just joking, when you said you got your balls “unwrinkled”?

Vacuous Limerick

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013

Vacuous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A vacuous gal who was vain
Had little upstairs, in the main.
But her body earned stares;
Men admired her wares,
Overlooking her thought-impaired brain.

(You can find more vain limericks here and body-related verse here.)

Lingerie Lust (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 27th, 2012

You know it’s the Christmas season, when you read about a Black Friday brawl breaking out over panties at Victoria’s Secret. This mall melee at the Roseville Galleria Mall in California was all captured on video.

Lingerie Lust (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In their lust for a haul at the mall,
Pantie shoppers broke into a brawl.
To put it quite briefly
The reasons are chiefly
Their vainness and greed — a clothes call.

While we’re on the subject of undie shopping at Victoria’s Secret, Secret Shopper is an old humor column about shopping for panties with my late mother. (It was her favorite column featuring her antics.)

Vain Limerick

Sunday, January 30th, 2011

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was terribly vain…

Here’s mine:

Vain Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was terribly vain
Was obsessed with his looks on the wane.
He considered a nip
And a tuck, but did zip.
Said “I haven’t got time for the pain.”

(My apologies to Carly Simon.)

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!