Posts Tagged ‘Underwear Humor’

“No Bra Day” Ode

Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

“No Bra Day” Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Today is “No Bra Day.” Oh my!
But just ONE braless day? Won’t comply
With the custom of binding
Our breasts. I’m not minding
Those rules. I declare, “Let them fly!”

UPDATE: In addition to being celebrated on July 9th, No Bra Day is also celebrated on October 13.

(For more bra humor, here’s my Wonderbra Song Parody.)

Limerick Ode To The Thong

Monday, August 5th, 2013

Are you planning to celebrate National Underwear Day on August 5th? Hint: It involves going out in public wearing just underwear.

Before you do anything rash, you should probably read this limerick:

Limerick Ode To The Thong
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you think you look good in a thong,
Double-check — throngs are certain you’re wrong.
Take a look from all sides.
Please use mirrors as guides.
You still think so? That bong must be strong!

Yet Another Invention For Boobs (Limerick)

Friday, January 11th, 2013

Every time CES rolls around, we’re bombarded with another slew of silly inventions. And CES 2013 is no exception.

I’ve already versified about the Smarter Socks app for hard-to-sort socks. But today I found an even more ridiculous invention: The WineRack Bra:

Turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends!

Better than a Boob Job and Cheaper Too! Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks.

We developed The Winerack to “Fill Out” our product line if you will. The picture shown here is of our good friend Drea, who is NOT, no offense Drea, Well Endowed. Sporting the Winerack and Voila’ Drea’s giving Pamela Anderson a run for the money.

Take a bottle of wine, a mixed drink or even a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys standing in line for a sip of your secret stash!

With simple blow into the tube it’s easy to keep that full look even as you drink from your secret stash.

This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?

Yet Another Invention For Boobs (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s another demented invention:
A bra to enhance each dimension
Of your breasts using wine.
Sip your bra while you dine?
Both sexy and oh so thirst quenchin’.

(In case you missed it many years ago, here are my Wonderbra Song Parody lyrics, which you could sing to “Miracle of Miracles” from “Fiddler on the Roof”.)

There’s An App For WHAT??? (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

Just when you think a problem is unsolvable, a creative company comes up with a solution. I’m referring, of course, to Smarter Socks which, we’re told, “makes sorting socks child’s play” through “interaction between the socks with a communication button, the Sock Sorter and an iPhone app.”

What would Seinfeld have to say about this?

There’s An App For WHAT??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you find that your socks keep cavorting
And consorting with strangers, your sorting
Can be helped with an app:
Smarter Socks fill the gap
When your laundering skills need supporting.

UPDATE: Alternatively, you could ditch the app and celebrate No Socks Day 365 days a year.

Lingerie Lust (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 27th, 2012

You know it’s the Christmas season, when you read about a Black Friday brawl breaking out over panties at Victoria’s Secret. This mall melee at the Roseville Galleria Mall in California was all captured on video.

Lingerie Lust (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In their lust for a haul at the mall,
Pantie shoppers broke into a brawl.
To put it quite briefly
The reasons are chiefly
Their vainness and greed — a clothes call.

While we’re on the subject of undie shopping at Victoria’s Secret, Secret Shopper is an old humor column about shopping for panties with my late mother. (It was her favorite column featuring her antics.)

My “Limerick Ode to a Kilt-Wearing Man” Won A Prize

Saturday, July 14th, 2012

Here’s some cool news! I entered the 2012 Saline (MI) Celtic Festival Limerick Contest with my “Limerick Ode to a Kilt-Wearing Man.” Well it turns out that I won first prize in the Master Class (over 25) category.

I couldn’t attend the festival, but it sure sounds like a fun yearly event.

Here’s my winning limerick:

Limerick Ode to a Kilt-Wearing Man
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was very well built,
Was naked except for his kilt.
He was flouting the regs,
As he flaunted his legs,
And willed certain parts not to wilt.

Acrostic Limericks In Vogue?

Wednesday, June 15th, 2011

Acrostic Limericks In Vogue?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Very stylish young gals were out walking
On the streets of Manhattan, while talking.
Guys were tempted to cheer:
Undergarments were clear.
Even women who saw them were gawking.

UPDATE: I just realized I’ve written seven acrostic limericks in the last couple of months. Perhaps I can postpone senility, after all.

Limerick Ode To Left-Handed Underwear

Monday, October 11th, 2010

Facebook pal and Limerick-Off regular Peter Metrinko pointed me to this article about a fashion breakthrough — underwear for left-handed men. Needless to say, I felt compelled to celebrate southpaw undies with a limerick:

Limerick Ode To Left-Handed Underwear
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You left-handed men, there’s good news:
Southpaw undies — much handier to use.
When you visit the loo
There’s a bit less to do.
But please don’t the priv’lege abuse.

UPDATE: August 13th is Left Hander’s Day. Enjoy!

Keeping Abreast Of Bras

Thursday, April 26th, 2007

Keeping Abreast Of Bras
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are gals who view bras as a gift,
For without ’em their breasts are adrift.
But other gals spurn ’em,
And some even burn ’em,
Giving men (and some women) a lift.

(In case you missed my Wonderbra song parody it’s here.)

UPDATE: Don’t forget to enter my Mother’s Day limerick writing contest. The deadline is May 12, 2007 and there are money prizes for the best two limericks.

Secret Shopper

Tuesday, October 17th, 2006

“I’m not going in there. No way. Forget it.”

My seventy-something mother’s stance was as rigid as her words; arms folded across her chest, unyielding legs pointed away from the shop I’d just suggested.

She and I had spent the entire afternoon combing through three department stores for the definitive pair of panties. Or at least my mom’s idea of same. This illusive undergarment had to be loose, comfortable, 100% cotton, and totally devoid of lace. And that was just for starters. It also had to completely cover my mother’s hips and come in a large size, the exact number of which she resolutely refused to disclose. … (Secret Shopper is continued here.)

The Wonderbra Song (Song Parody)

Monday, September 11th, 2006

If you’ve ever wondered exactly how the Wonderbra works, this ad provides a handy demonstration.

And that gives me all the excuse I need to post my Wonderbra Song Parody:

Wonder of wonders.
Miracle of miracles.
Wonderbra can make you huge.

Wonder of wonders.
Wonderbra oh Wonderbra.
Lifts, shores up, and stacks your boobs.

Wonder of wonders.
Miracle of miracles.
Deepens cleavage on demand.

Wonder of wonders.
Wonderbra oh Wonderbra.
Scoops and swells your mammary glands.

The day I first tried on that bra.
That was a miracle.
That was a miracle.

They gaped and gawked and cheered “Hurrah!”
That was a miracle too.

But for all breasts be they large or small.
The most miraculous bra of all. … 

(My Wonderbra Song Parody is continued here.)