Happy “National Dessert Day.” (October 14)
A fellow was eating dessert.
Offered seconds, he said, “It can’t hurt.”
But his wife said, “Enough!”
“You used to be buff.”
He responded, “You used to be pert.”
Posts Tagged ‘Marriage Verse’
Tasty Limerick
Thursday, October 14th, 2021My Patently Great Husband (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 29th, 2021Congratulations to my wonderful husband Mark Kane, who’s now officially an “inventor” of a software patent, according to the U.S. Patent And Trademark Office:
My best friend and my love and my center!
(Sometimes mentor, but never tormentor)
Always good for a lark;
That’s my PATENTED Mark,
Who’s officially now an inventor.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GROWN or GROAN at the end of any one line
Saturday, March 23rd, 2019It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GROWN or GROAN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DIVORCE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DIVORCE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Whenever a fellow would nap
His collie would leap on his lap.
Then he’d groan and he’d moan.
(The dog was full-grown.)
How he longed for a dog-warning app.
And here’s my Divorce-themed limerick:
Although “civil,” it’s certain to vex
And is rarely divorced from bad sex.
It takes courtrooms and cash,
Zealous Esqs who are brash:
It’s converting your spouse to an ex.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Happy 41st Meeting Anniversary To Hubby Mark (Limerick)
Friday, April 20th, 2018I concede this sounds rather insane,
But I found my true love on a train;
Not a club, not a bar,
But the LIRR
Changed my life — gave me Mark Gary Kane.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RAIL or DERAIL at the end of any one line
Saturday, February 3rd, 2018It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RAIL or DERAIL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to the WINTER OLYMPICS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best WINTER OLYMPICS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 18, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 17, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I frequently travel by rail
And would rather ride trains than set sail,
Cuz a train was the place
Where I first saw the face
Of my husband … plus torso and tail.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RIDE/DERIDE at the end of any one line
Saturday, May 13th, 2017It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RIDE/DERIDE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SNOBBISHNESS using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SNOBBISHNESS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 28, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 27, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A man who has gripes with his bride
Decided to let them all ride;
She has talents in bed
And is rich (so she said.)
But he soon will see red, cuz she lied.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Married To a Mush-Meister (Limerick)
Monday, December 26th, 2016Hubby Mark savors films that are sappy,
And what’s crappy to ME makes him happy.
He’ll be glued to the screen
At the mushiest scene,
While I mentally keen, “Make it snappy!”
Happy “Bike To Work Day”
Thursday, May 15th, 2014May 16th is National Bike to Work Day. Of course, some rides work out better than others:
A Spousal Ride (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Spousal nagging pushed hubby to strike
Some balance by riding a bike.
But when ego and ass
Took a beating, alas,
He told biking and wife, “Take a hike!”
Post-Valentine’s Day Ode
Saturday, February 15th, 2014Post-Valentine’s Day Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Shoveling snow–
Not my favorite chore.
Mark did it for me.
That’s what marriage is for.
Limerick Scene (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, February 2nd, 2014It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was making a scene…*
or
A fellow who liked being seen…*
or
A woman was making the scene…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Scene
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was making a scene,
Shouting phrases obscene and quite mean,
At a wedding, alas—
His own! Horse’s ass!
That groom’s surely losing his sheen.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Fix (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, September 15th, 2013It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow got into a fix…*
or
A fellow was trying to fix…*
or
A woman who needed a fix…*
or
A man who demands a quick fix…*
(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Fix
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow got into a fix
After betting on rather poor picks.
Not casinos or horses—
I’m talking divorces;
He married four henpecking chicks.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Rant
Wednesday, August 28th, 2013Limerick Rant
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A botanist, rather a ranter,
Looked down upon lighthearted banter.
Though he constantly “shared”
His views, which he blared,
When his wife tried to talk, he’d supplant ‘er.
Hall Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, January 27th, 2013It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow stepped into the hall…*
or
A woman stepped into the hall…*
or
A fellow was trying to haul…*
or
A woman was trying to haul…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Hall of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman stepped into the hall
And bawled, “This is terribly small!”
She’d been hoping to wed
In a “palace” instead.
But her budget kept hitting a wall.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Yet Another Limerick Ode To My Husband Mark Kane
Tuesday, May 8th, 2012Yet Another Limerick Ode To My Husband Mark Kane
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh, what have I done to my Mark:
Taught him limerick writing, and hark!
Now he’ll draft something new,
Then lug laptop to loo —
I can’t hide from his poetry arc.
(Note from Mad Kane: I’m really not making this up. On Sunday, Mark followed me into the bathroom, carrying his laptop. That’s how eager he was to show me his latest limerick.)
Sundry Haiku and Tanka
Wednesday, August 31st, 2011Prompted to write a school-related haiku, I ended up with a tanka. I just couldn’t seem to fit this true tale into a mere seventeen syllables:
Classroom clock won’t move,
its hands dulled by droning prof,
who catches my stare
and yells, “If you’re bored, then go.”
Lesson learned — I take my leave.
*****
Continuing with an education theme, I’ve used Three Word Wednesday’s drag, mumble, penetrate prompt in this haiku:
Penetrating mind
who mumbles at his lectern —
a scholarly drag.
*****
Drop the “f” from “flaws”
and you’re left with the word “laws,”
most of which are flawed.
*****
What greater pleasure
than a standing ovation
from the man you love.
*****
Undecorated (Haiku and Tanka)
Tuesday, April 5th, 2011Blank slate office walls —
Decorate? No one tempted —
temporary work.
*****
Nakedly ringless,
undecorated fingers
robbed of wedding bling.
Married still, but ringed no more.
Replaceable … and yet not.
*****
(Prompted by decorated)
Limerick In Free-Fall
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011I rarely write poems about science. But Big Tent Poetry got my juices flowing with this article about astronauts, NASA, and clutter at the International Space Station: Here’s the line that got me going:
There is no up or down in space, so clutter adorns almost every surface and is held in place by duct tape, Velcro and metal clips.
Limerick In Free-Fall
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Space Station clutter’s appalling.
Objects long to engage in free-falling.
It take Velcro, clips, tape
To prevent their escape:
My hubby’s fav tools — missed his calling.
(More space verse here.)
My Chances Of Watching TV Are Remote
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011This week Big Tent Poetry provides a bunch of word prompts, urging us to use one or more in our poems. I used three of them in my haiku (remote, function, handle) and one in a limerick (remote.)
First, my limerick:
I’m tempted to hide the remote
From my spouse in a closet or coat,
Cuz he flicks ev’ry station
In rapid rotation.
Missing show after show gets my goat.
*****
And now my haiku:
Dysfunctional spouse
Wields remote ADD-style.
Wife can’t handle it.
