Posts Tagged ‘Idiom Humor’
Monday, May 23rd, 2022
Get up early for fishing? I’ll yawn
From the thought of awak’ning by dawn.
At the end of the day,
My choice is “No Way!”
I like rising when sunlight’s all gawn.
Tags: Fishing Humor, Fishing Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Outdoor Sports, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Sleep Limerick
Posted in Outdoors Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Sports Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, May 21st, 2022
An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.
Tags: Animal and Pet Humor, Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Bad Behavior, Beef Humor, Behavior Humor, Bird Humor, Bird Limerick, Birds Humor, Crows, Eating Crow, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Fowl Humor, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Know-It-Alls, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Meat Humor, Poultry Humor, Wordplay, Wordplay Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Wordplay | No Comments »
Wednesday, May 18th, 2022
A would-be attacker named Bill
Is disguised and in black, but lacks skill:
He trips on his way
To assaulting his prey.
Though inept he’s, at least, dressed to kill.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Dress Humor, Dress Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Ineptness, Violence Humor, Violence Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Physical Appearance | No Comments »
Wednesday, April 27th, 2022
The aptly named newlywed, Dick,
Refers to his bride as a “chick”
And never extols her.
He boasts he “controls her”
By using “both carat and stick.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | No Comments »
Wednesday, April 20th, 2022
Harold hadn’t cut corners in ages,
Despite his reduction in wages.
When told he should do it,
His answer was “Screw it!
That makes it too hard to turn pages.”
Tags: Cutting Corners, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Reading Humor, Reading Limerick, Wages Humor, Wages Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | No Comments »
Thursday, April 7th, 2022
A young gal grabbed her daughter to scold ’er:
“You should know better, now that you’re older.
Throwing snack food is rude,
Also wasteful and crude,”
Said the mom with a chip on her shoulder.
Tags: Badly Behaved Children, Child Humor, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Parenting Humor, Parenting Limerick, Snack Food Humor
Posted in Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor | Comments Off on Snack Food Grievance (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 6th, 2022
A marathon runner named Ace
Loved to brag about every damn race.
His long-winded tales
Would induce plaintive wails:
“Stop meandering. Cut to the chase!”
Tags: Bragging Humor, Bragging Limerick, Competitive Humor, Competitive Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marathon Humor, Marathon Limerick, Running Humor, Running Limerick, Talkative Limerick, Talkativeness
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Exercise Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on Long-Winded Limerick
Tuesday, April 5th, 2022
Her boyfriend insists that she’s “jerky”
For falling for health warnings “murky.”
He has coaxed and opined,
But he can’t change her mind:
She’s swearing off poultry “cold turkey.”
Tags: Chicken Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Diet Humor, Diet Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Poultry Humor, Poultry Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on A Healthy Disagreement (Limerick)
Monday, April 4th, 2022
To cross ev’ry “T” ain’t just fine;
It’s required — not merely benign.
But by crossing a “U,”
You have set it askew…
And in fact you are crossing the line.
Tags: Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on More Idiom Idiocy (Limerick)
Sunday, March 27th, 2022
An old-fashioned barber (and knave)
While at work, tried his best to behave.
But alas, he went nuts;
Stabbed two customers’ guts…
And a third had a very close shave.
Tags: Barber Humor, Barber Limerick, Beard Humor, Beard Limerick, Close Shave, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Barbaric Limerick
Monday, March 21st, 2022
This is what happens when I play with idioms:
“Your home sale is under suspension,”
Read the notice, provoking dissension.
“Human bones have been found
In your yard, underground,
And those bones are the bone of contention.”
Tags: Bones Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Home Humor, Home Limerick, House Humor, House Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Real Estate Humor, Real Estate Limerick
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Crime & Punishment Humor, House & Home Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Real Estate Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, January 25th, 2022
Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the making of this limerick:
The wind is impressive today.
While walking, it’s hard not to sway.
By its force I’m bowled over,
And so is poor Rover.
Truth be told, we are both blown away.
Tags: Animals and Pet Humor, Dog Humor, Dog Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Walking Humor, Walking Limerick, Weather Humor, Weather Limerick, Wind Humor, Wind Limerick
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Idiom Humor, Walking Humor, Weather Humor | Comments Off on Windy Walk (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 25th, 2022
If you’re someone who blows your own trumpet,
It’s a terrible habit. Please dump it!
You’ve let loose with a hiss?
I won’t sugarcoat this;
You will just have to like it or lump it.
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Bragging Humor, Bragging Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | Comments Off on Unsolicited Advice (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 18th, 2022
A talkative tailor named Chip
Dished the dirt at a spirited clip.
Some patrons with clout
Got the babbler bawled out;
He was ordered to “button his lip.”
Tags: Clothing Humor, Communication Humor, Gossip Humor, Gossip Limerick, Idiom Humor, Tailor Humor, Tailor Limerick, Talkativeness
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Blathering Limerick
Wednesday, December 15th, 2021
“Oh my goodness, my gosh, and my heavens,”
Said a fellow who called himself Evans.
He repeated this twice,
As he juggled some dice,
Adding “Yikes! I’m at sixes and sevens.”
Tags: Confusion Humor, Confusion Limerick, Dice Humor, Dice Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Numbers Humor, Numbers Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Idiom Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick Confusion
Wednesday, December 15th, 2021
We were packed and all ready to jet
To a beachfront resort, when “Not yet,”
Said my wife. “I must go
Get my hair curled by Flo.”
Hours later: “Let’s leave. I’m all set.”
(For the record, I don’t have a wife. But I do have a procrastinating husband with no concept of time.)
Tags: Delays Humor, Delays Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Vacation Humor, Vacation Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Holiday Humor, Idiom Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Procrastination Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Time Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Exit Interruptus
Monday, November 22nd, 2021
The driver made such a loud fuss
Over new jitney wages, each cuss
As he bitched about pay
Could be heard blocks away…
So the man was thrown under the bus.
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Bus Driver Humor, Bus Driver Limerick, Bus Humor, Bus Limerick, Complaint Humor, Complaint Limerick, Cursing Humor, Cursing Limerick, Employment Humor, Employment Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Jitney Humor, Jitney Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Pay Humor, Pay Limerick, Transportation Humor, Transportation Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Wage Humor, Wage Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Wage Madness (Limerick)
Saturday, November 20th, 2021
“Wet clothes in the hamper? That’s foul!”
Said a gal to her spouse, with a scowl.
“What is wrong with you men!?
If you do it again,
I’ll divorce you and throw in the towel.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Clothes Humor, Clothes Limerick, Clothing Limerick, Cothing Humor, Divorce Humor, Divorce Limerick, Hamper Humor, Hamper Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Laundry Humor, Laundry Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick, Relatives Humor, Relatives Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on A Hampered Relationship (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 17th, 2021
An angry, sardonic young bloke
Lost his job and was utterly broke.
He tried standup, but failed
To get laughs, so he bailed.
Yelled the ‘comic,’ “You can’t take a joke!”
Tags: Comedians, Comics, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Joke Humor, Joke Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Idiom Humor | Comments Off on A Sardonic Bloke (Limerick)
Thursday, November 11th, 2021
A pissed patron returned to Pierre’s
And demanded free haircut repairs:
“Your stylist destroyed
My look. Fire Floyd!”
The reply? “Kindly stop splitting hairs.”
(Hairstylist Appreciation Day is April 25, and National Hair Day is October 1.)
Tags: April Holidays, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Haircut Humor, Haircut Limerick, Hairstyle Appreciation Day, Hairstylist Appreciation Day, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, National Hair Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Yet Another Hairy Limerick
