Posts Tagged ‘Holiday Humor’

Dueling Calendars (Limerick)

Monday, September 6th, 2021

Rosh Hashanah is early this year.
The calendar (Jewish) does veer
Just enough to confuse me,
Confound and bemuse me.
I must labor to get back in gear.

2020, Buh-Bye! (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2020

I’m grateful the year’s end is nigh.
Good riddance — no need to say why.
Though the reasons are endless,
A whiner is friendless;
I’ll just bid it an effing goodbye!

MY Kind Of St. Patrick’s Day Celebration (Limerick)

Saturday, March 17th, 2018

We’re off to a nice Bayside pub,
Where Mark will eat Irish-type grub.
I’ll eschew all the food,
But will alter my mood
Through libations — a spiritous sub.

Resolution Suggestion (Limerick)

Sunday, January 1st, 2017

If your past resolutions seem old
And you’d like one that’s novel and bold,
You could vow to spend time
With more wordplay and rhyme…
And to enter the contests I hold.

My Limerick-Off challenges are always the top post on this page.

Limerick Ode To Canada Day

Friday, July 1st, 2016

It’s Canada Day, so congrats.
You Canucks surely think that we’re bats.
And I have to concede
That you’re right. If I need
To flee Trump, do you have any flats?

Yet Another St. Patrick’s Day Limerick

Thursday, March 17th, 2016

On St. Patrick’s Day food I’m not keen.
Its corned beef and cabbage cuisine
Makes my stomach feel queer,
And the same goes for beer.
Partake… and I’ll surely turn green.

Limerick Ode To Leap Day

Monday, February 29th, 2016

It’s “Leap Day,” a day that is rare,
Which strikes me as rather unfair;
Leap Days fall just in years
Deemed “bissextile.” No leers
Please at “sex” in that term. Don’t you dare!

About Those Resolutions (Limerick)

Friday, January 1st, 2016

At the start of each year, it’s tradition
To draw up a vow-list, the mission
Being clean up one’s act
In some way. But in fact,
Our lapses soon lead to contrition.

Sound Familiar? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 30th, 2015

That annual moment is near,
When I notice I’ve failed to adhere
To the “vow list” I wrote;
Resolutions I’ll quote
In my NEW list. (They’re longer each year.)

Not That I’m Complaining, But… (Limerick)

Thursday, December 24th, 2015

I’m not writing a climate-change screed,
But I’d wager most folks would concede
This is crazy as heck:
Icy drinks on our deck,
Late December, New York. Coat? No need!

Windy St. Patrick’s Day Limerick

Tuesday, March 17th, 2015

Windy St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Thinking Jack Frost had split, we high-fived.
But our basking in warmth was short-lived.
Winter managed to con us–
Cold wind is upon us–
A low blow as St. Pat’s Day arrived.

(More wind poetry here.)

Staten Island Chuck the Groundhog Lives (Limerick)

Monday, February 2nd, 2015

There’s been a Groundhog Day rules change at the Staten Island Zoo, in the wake of last year’s groundhog death at the klutzy hands of Mayor Bill de Blasio:

Staten Island Chuck the Groundhog Lives (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems the zoos of New York had their fill
Of Mayor-caused Groundhog Day-kill.
Last year’s groundhog is dead,
So “no holding,” they said.
“We are Chucking your touching rights, Bill.”

Post-Christmas Lament

Friday, December 26th, 2014

Post-Christmas Lament
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Christmas season’s ended,
So shopping’s at a stall.
But exchangers have descended.
When’s it safe to risk a mall?

Dear Klutzy Gift-Givers (Limerick)

Thursday, December 18th, 2014

Dear Klutzy Gift-Givers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Are your fingers all thumbs? Then beware!
Please don’t try to convince her you care
By wrapping your gift.
One quick look — she’ll be miffed:
“Why’s my present been mauled by a bear?”

Something I’ve Noticed (Limerick)

Monday, December 8th, 2014

Something I’ve Noticed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This notice can fill you with dread,
When it comes from your office-place head:
Not the “blue slip,” you smarty–
The “holiday party!”
I’ll bet you’d feel safer in bed.

Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores

Tuesday, November 25th, 2014

Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Don’t reward greedy, cynical stores
For behaving like gluttonous whores:
If they’re open on days
Like Thanksgiving, it pays
To shop elsewhere. Don’t walk through their doors!

******
A Companion Haiku:

Stores, be on notice:
Open doors on Thanksgiving?
Brace for a boycott.

******

Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters

Friday, October 3rd, 2014

Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To those who are fasting right now,
It is best not to think about chow.
And I hope that this tip
Doesn’t strike you as flip:
Though it’s stressful, please don’t have a cow.

Limerick Ode To A Stormy Independence Day

Friday, July 4th, 2014

Limerick Ode To A Stormy Independence Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The East Coast, alas, is awash
With Hurricane Arthurly slosh,
Bringing wind gusts and rain
And flooding — the bane
Of saluting the 4th with panache.

Passover Verse

Monday, April 14th, 2014

May your seder be lovely,
A holiday treat.
May it not be too late
Till you finally eat.

Happy Passover to all who celebrate it!

Presidents Day Limerick

Monday, February 17th, 2014

Presidents Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s Presidents Day. Zut alors!
Does anyone know what it’s for?
I’m not sure, but I’d guess
It’s meant to address
The need for more sales at each store.

Note from Mad Kane: I blame the champagne.