Posts Tagged ‘Finance Humor’

Half-Baked Plan (Multi-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 11th, 2013

Half-Baked Plan (Multi-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A baker would frequently groan
About needing a sizable loan
To build up a co
That would make her some dough,
In a quite disagreeable tone.

Her fam’ly kept warning her: “Groans
Simply aren’t conducive to loans.
You must demonstrate spine
And you never should whine.
Why not bribe all the lenders with scones?”

She brought some fresh scones to the bank.
They were primo — she had them to thank
For an influx of cash.
So she threw a big bash
And got baked — ended up in the tank.

Hung over, she signed a bad lease;
Her new landlord sure knew how to fleece.
And business was dicey,
The scones way too pricey–
Her sale price was ten bucks a piece.

So her scone bus’ness quickly went under,
Her finances torn quite asunder.
“My expenses have grown,”
She’d moan on the phone
To her funder, who groaned, “What a blunder!”

Limerick Ode To Mourn For Your Money Day

Monday, June 10th, 2013

Happy Mourn For Your Money Day! (June 10th) Okay, perhaps happy isn’t quite the right word for it.

Limerick Ode To Mourn For Your Money Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh, woe to the poor middle class!
Our money has vanished, alas.
Its value each day
Seems to shrink, as we pay
For the sins of the greedy top brass.

Limerick Ode To A Plunging Stock Market

Friday, August 5th, 2011

Limerick Ode To A Plunging Stock Market
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The stock market’s falling apart,
And it takes neither science nor art
To see that we’re screwed.
Wall Street matches our mood.
Yes, we’re losing both money and heart.

Hapless Home Buyer’s Guide

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006

The road to buying a house is paved with dwindling bank accounts, devious brokers, and home owners who (you hope) are desperate to sell. Yes, it’s a challenge. But with the help of these easy to follow instructions, you can negotiate your way into unthinkable debt:     

1. Decide you must buy a house because your present one is:
a. too small;
b. too large;
c. non-existent … (Hapless Home Buyer’s Guide is continued here.)