For the record, this limerick is fictitious. (I grew up with poodles, mutts, and a collie, none of which ever participated in dog shows. And I’ve never owned a golden retriever.)
“I’m so proud of our golden retriever.
She’s a multiple ribbon receiver.
She struts proudly at shows
With great gait, well-arched toes;
An achiever and bold ‘eager beaver.'”
A dog-loving sleuthhound named Kurt
Was a hardworking gumshoe and flirt.
Though his chow did no tricks,
She DID attract chicks…
And was handy at digging up dirt.
“After seeing your farm, I’m agog
At its beautiful pigpen. My dog
Doesn’t live half as well!
The big barn where pigs dwell
Is superb! They live high on the hog.”
*****
Happy World Farm Animals Day! (October 2)
A woman who wanted a pet
Became angry, perturbed, and upset:
She’d been told dog adoption
Was OUT as an option…
Cuz she spent too much time on the net.
She replied, “If the net’s bad, then why
Is your website the place we must buy
These sweet canines you say
Need a home? Still say ‘Nay?’
Any court will your ruling decry.”
Upon hearing her not-so-veiled threat,
The naysayer started to sweat.
Since his site can’t afford
To be sued, he’s on board.
Her new spaniel — Tibetan — great get!
*****
(Happy “World Pet Day” — September 28.)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MIND or MINED or REMIND at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BANKS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BANK-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: YAWN, CLAIM, SPORTS, LAZY, FEARLESS
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 16, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 15, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my MIND or MINED or REMIND-Rhyme Limerick:
A fellow was asked to help mind
A young dog by a gal in a bind.
But he said, “I’m tied up
And can’t help with that pup.”
The response she unleashed wasn’t kind.
And here’s my BANK-Themed Limerick:
A foolish young fellow named Frank
Had a low-level job in a bank.
When a gal asked for francs,
He informed her, “The ranks
Of this bank have just one, plus a Hank.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
When the judge caught me yawning in court,
He accused me of being the sort
Of gal “who became
An Esq., just to claim
A husband, or simply for sport.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
How can I resist using “bombilation” in a limerick?
Bombilation is driving me nuts,
And it comes from a home that abuts
My backyard. I complain,
But I’m met with disdain.
My revenge? A large doghouse with mutts.
When I starting drafting this limerick, I meant it to be a National Mutt Day verse. But it seems to have turned into something else:
I had many a mutt growing up.
My fav’rite behaved like a pup
Well into old age.
And my husband, who’s sage,
Takes his lead from that dog. Clever? Yup!
Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the making of this limerick:
The wind is impressive today.
While walking, it’s hard not to sway.
By its force I’m bowled over,
And so is poor Rover.
Truth be told, we are both blown away.
There’s a ball or a frisbee to toss?
Or the call for a meat bone? (No sauce!)
A long walk with your pet,
Or a howling duet?
Your canine pal’s always the boss!
A man whose deep pockets are boundless
Is hounded by lawsuits, most groundless.
Take the latest; a claim
About dog-bites, whose aim
Is big bucks, but the “dog owner’s” hound-less.
Happy “National Dog Day.” (August 26)
My favorite breed is the “mutt.”
Yes, I know you’re about to say “But,
That isn’t a breed.”
I’m aware, but I need
To annoy nutty dog snobs who strut.
(National Mutt Day is celebrated on two days: July 31 and December 2.)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SIGHT or SITE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CHILDREN, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CHILDREN-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 30, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 29, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SIGHT/SITE-rhyme limerick:
Though I hate to appear impolite,
Or petty and quick to indict,
Trump’s a blight on our nation;
A Trump relocation
To prison would be a fine sight.
And here’s my CHILDREN-themed limerick:
We adopted a pet at the pound;
An adorable, cuddly young hound.
The children both love her,
But run off for cover
When doggie-doo mishaps are found.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GROWN or GROAN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DIVORCE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DIVORCE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Whenever a fellow would nap
His collie would leap on his lap.
Then he’d groan and he’d moan.
(The dog was full-grown.)
How he longed for a dog-warning app.
And here’s my Divorce-themed limerick:
Although “civil,” it’s certain to vex
And is rarely divorced from bad sex.
It takes courtrooms and cash,
Zealous Esqs who are brash:
It’s converting your spouse to an ex.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BARK or EMBARK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SPRING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SPRING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 15, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 14, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
“Why were canines allowed on that ark?”
Whined a woman whose dog-fear was stark.
Then she jumped up and bawled,
When a pooch-owner drawled:
“Sawyer’s bite is far worse than his bark.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Happy National Mutt Day! (It’s celebrated twice a year, on December 2nd and July 31.)
Today we must cherish the mutt.
Mongrels matter, no if, and, or but.
Purebred dogs may be chic,
But each mixed breed’s unique.
It’s clear cut. Walk yours proudly and strut.
Some facts are self-evident, including the results of this study of cats.
Researchers Belabor The Obvious (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Does a cat miss its owner and pout?
Just in case you were feeling some doubt,
Felines ain’t like a hound,
A study has found.
It took science to figure this out?
For National Dog Day, a 2-Verse Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Canine friends are my subject today,
And I love to watch dogs on display,
Never letting you down.
I can’t see why you’d frown
Near a puppy that just wants to play.
Ev’ry pooch needs a human to love.
(People swear they’re a gift from above.)
Always loyal and sweet–
Lets you know: “Time to eat!”
So line up to adopt and don’t shove.
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman had spent her last pound…*
or
A fellow went down to the pound…*
or
A woman bought less than a pound…*
or
A fellow was trying to pound…*
or
A professor would often expound…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limericks By The Pound
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow went down to the pound
With plans to adopt a cute hound.
His spouse said, “Think small,”
But he brought home a tall
St. Bernard. Now his wife’s outward bound.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
I just found out that this week (May 1 through May 7) is National Pet Week. So I thought I’d celebrate with a canine limerick:
A Limerick About Nothing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who owned a pet dog
Took him out for a walk in the fog.
Soon the man and his hound
Were back home safe and sound,
Where he wrote up their walk on his blog.
UPDATE: Happy “Walking The Dog Day.” (February 22)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.