Posts Tagged ‘Bawdy Humor’
Saturday, August 21st, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MEMORY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MEMORY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 5, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 4, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my LOON/LUNE/BALLOON/SALOON-rhyme limerick:
A fellow, as mad as a loon,
Would strip naked outside ev’ry noon,
Till a note came. ’Twas snide:
“Were I you, I would hide
All my privates; your prick’s picayune.
And here’s my MEMORY-themed limerick:
Once again, I am drawing a blank.
My recall’s, alas, in the tank.
My brain feels bombarded
By facts, soon discarded.
So Google’s my memory bank.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Blank Memory, Brain Humor, Brain Limerick, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Competition Limerick, Google Humor, Google Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Memory Humor, Memory Limerick, Naked Humor, Naked Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Memory Humor, Mental Health Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 256 Comments »
Friday, July 16th, 2021
At my age (seven-one) men don’t greet me
With catcalls or words that entreat me
To do something “wack.”
And I’m never called “snack.”
If I were, my response would be “Eat me!”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Catcall Humor, Catcall Limerick, Catcalls, Language Humor, Slang Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Language Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Fun With Slang (Limerick)
Friday, July 9th, 2021
Here’s a birthday limerick for my husband Mark, in response to his joking (I hope) query: “Mad, it’s my Birthday, and I’m feeling a bit down, so would it be OK if I visited our local ecdysiast?”
Happy birthday to Mark! You’re the best!
Though you’re old, you still live life with zest.
I am joking, of course;
If you’re old, I perforce
Am antique. (So no dancers undressed!)
Tags: Age Humor, Bawdy Humor, Birthday Limerick, Clothing Humor, Dancing Humor, Husband Wife Humor, Marriage Humor, Old Age Humor, Stripper Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Bawdy Limericks, Birthday Verse, Clothing Humor, Dance Humor, Limericks, Personal | Comments Off on Birthday Limerick For Hubby Mark
Saturday, January 16th, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Locks or Lox or Lochs or Lawks at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Instruments, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Instruments-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 31, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 30, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my Locks/Lox/Lochs/Lawks-rhyme limerick:
“See that gal over there? What a fox!”
Said a man of a woman whose locks
Were curly and long
And worthy of song.
But the rest of her? More like an ox.
And here’s my Instruments-themed limerick:
A musician I know plays the lute,
And her husband is gifted on flute.
They duet ev’ry day
On their instruments. Hey!
Your mind OUT of the gutter, you brute!
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Competition Limerick, Flute, Flute Humor, Flute Limerick, Fox Humor, Instrumentalists, Instruments, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Lute, Lute Humor, Lute Limerick, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limericks, Musical Instruments, Musician Humor, Ox Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 148 Comments »
Saturday, November 7th, 2020
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SPELL or DISPEL OR MISSPELL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CONFESSIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CONFESSION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 22, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 21, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SPELL or DISPEL OR MISSPELL-rhyme limerick:
A pickpocket, locked in a cell,
Describes it as “nitemarish hell.”
Now the skell’s penned a book;
Hopes to sell it by hook
Or by crook. But the schnook just can’t spell.
And here’s my CONFESSIONS-themed limerick:
A fellow confessed he was bi
To his wife, who replied “I won’t lie;
I’m upset.” (Her tears flowed.)
“So here’s what I’m owed:
A three-way with you and your guy.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bisexuality, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Sex Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 135 Comments »
Sunday, February 16th, 2020
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CASH or CACHE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CLOTHING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CLOTHING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 1, 2020 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 29, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CASH/CACHE-Rhyme limerick:
I’m in a big rush and must dash
To the bank, cuz I’m all out of cash.
Then there’s lunch and a meeting
And hours of tweeting
Snide gripes — pols and neighbors to bash.
And here’s my CLOTHING-themed limerick:
A woman was totally bare;
She’d removed all her clothes on a dare,
Then shopped aroun’ town
Till a cop flagged her down.
Her excuse? “I have nothing to wear.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Clothes Shopping, Competition Limerick, Law And Order, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money Limerick, Nudity, Poetry & Prompts, Police Humor, Social Media Humor, Tweet Humor, Twitter Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Shopping Humor, Social Media Humor, Twitter Humor | 128 Comments »
Sunday, April 22nd, 2018
It’s “Send Your Man Nudes Day.” Oy Vey!
Will I celebrate THAT one? No way!
I’m too old for that stuff,
So no pics in the buff!
I’ll forgo risking cyber-display.
Send Your Man Nudes Day falls on April 22 each year.
Tags: April Holidays, Bawdy Humor, Nude Humor, Nude Photos, Nude Pics, Odd Holidays, Posing Nude, Send Your Man Nudes Day
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Personal, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on A Good Holiday To Skip (Limerick)
Saturday, October 1st, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GRIND at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to AUTUMN, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best AUTUMN-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 16, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 15, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A gal who was always behind
In her chores, said her spouse did not mind:
“My gifts in the sack
Make up for this lack.
I excel at a far diff’rent grind.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Competition Limerick, Household Chores, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Sex Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Contests, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 78 Comments »
Wednesday, June 8th, 2016
A fellow was given the slip
By a woman aboard a large ship.
He’d thought her his mate —
His ocean trip fate —
But he never had time to unzip.
Happy World Oceans Day! (June 8)
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, June Holidays, Maritime Humor, Ocean Humor, Ocean Travel Humor, Odd Holidays, Sea Humor, Sea Travel Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Travel Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, May 10th, 2016
“Intuition is something I trust,”
Said a gal when told trust is a must.
“I instinctively feel
That you’re surely a heel
Who would tempt me with feelings of lust.”
May 10th is Trust Your Intuition Day.
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Intuition, Intuition Limerick, Lust Humor, May Holidays, Odd Holidays, Trust Your Intuition Day
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on In Intuition I Trust (Limerick)
Monday, March 21st, 2016
It’s essential to celebrate smells–
Just the good ones, of course; Nothing quells
A good mood like a stink,
Which might possibly shrink
The terrain where your fella’s brain dwells.
Happy National Fragrance Day! (March 21)
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Fragrance Day, Fragrance Humor, March Holidays, National Fragrance Day, Odd Holidays, Smell Humor
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Smell Humor | Comments Off on An Essential Holiday (Limerick)
Monday, February 29th, 2016
It’s “Leap Day,” a day that is rare,
Which strikes me as rather unfair;
Leap Days fall just in years
Deemed “bissextile.” No leers
Please at “sex” in that term. Don’t you dare!
Tags: Bawdy Humor, February Holidays, February Humor, Holiday Humor, Leap Day, Leap Year, Odd Holidays
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Leap Day
Tuesday, October 20th, 2015
Here’s something that just doesn’t track:
Having sex with a tractor is whack!
But a Brit was arrested.
His crime? He molested
Deere rears, which must now watch their back.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Farm Equipment, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Sex Humor, Tractor Humor
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Is There Anything Men Won’t Have Sex With? (Limerick)
Friday, June 5th, 2015
Limerick Ode To “Female Viagra”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a “female Viagra?” Oh my!
I’ve boned up on its risks, so no-buy.
Should I need to feel horny,
The problem ain’t thorny.
No not porn! Just a flash of Mark’s thigh.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Drug Humor, Female Viagra, Flibanserin, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Medication Humor, Meds, Sex Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To “Female Viagra”
Wednesday, May 27th, 2015
Good news for men worried about ED — coffee’s good for you:
According to new research from The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston, men who drink the caffeine equivalent of two to three cups of coffee per day are less likely to have erectile dysfunction.
Erecting The Case For Coffee (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear men, avoid pills and injections,
Yet hold on to your manly erections:
Drinking coffee each day
Drives dysfunction away
And prevents disappointing defections.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Caffeine Humor, Coffee Drinks Humor, Coffee Verse, Drink Verse, ED, Erectile Dysfunction, Erection Humor, Health Limericks, Men's Health
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on Erecting The Case For Coffee (Limerick)
Friday, May 1st, 2015
Happy World Naked Gardening Day (1st Saturday of May)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Naked Gardening Day is tomorrow.
As I write this, I shudder with sorrow.
So I strongly advise:
Stay indoors, avert eyes…
Or give gard’ners some clothes they can borrow.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Gardening Humor, May Holidays, Naked Limerick, Nudity, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Outdoors Verse, World Naked Gardening Day
Posted in Gardens / Plant Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, April 29th, 2015
Limerick Ode to the Zipper (Zipper Day: April 29)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ll bet Gideon Sundback felt chipper
When designing the modern-day zipper–
An invention surpassin’
The old ways to fasten…
And a slick trick to hook a big tipper.
Tags: April Holidays, Bawdy Humor, Clothes Humor, Clothing Humor, Gideon Sundback, Inventions, Inventions Poem, National Zipper Day, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Zipper Day
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Clothing Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, April 15th, 2015
Limerick Rut
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was stuck in a rut.
It depressed him down deep in his gut.
So he vowed to reform
And conform to the norm–
He would curb all his groovin’ on smut.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Behavior Humor, Pornography Humor, Sex Humor, Smut Humor, Wordplay
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Porn Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Limerick Rut
Thursday, April 2nd, 2015
Use Your Noodles, Guys! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow with oodles of cash
Met a slut at a dog-lovers bash.
She’d borrowed a poodle.
Her target? His boodle.
Their canoodling was pricey and rash.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Canoodle, Dog Verse, Dogs Verse, Greed Humor, Kanoodling, Money Poems, Money Verse, Poodle Humor, Rash Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | Comments Off on Use Your Noodles, Guys! (Limerick)
