“I am sorry to say that I feel
Your ideas are far from ideal.
You’ve had plenty of time
To produce a good rhyme,
So this ‘muse’ deal must end. (It’s been real.”)
Archive for the ‘Writing & Publishing Humor’ Category
Dear Muse (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 29th, 2025Inspiration Drummed Out? (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2025“What’s that ruckus?” she said with a curse.
“I’m on deadline. It’s time to write verse.”
But just then, the noise grew
As a neighbor (on cue)
Banged his drums and began to rehearse.
I Can’t Stop My Rhyme (Limerick)
Monday, October 13th, 2025I’m compelled to create ev’ry day.
No new lim’ricks? Remorse will hold sway.
Pressed for time? I still try
To write verse on the fly;
My frayed brain can’t keep rhyming at bay.
Prompt Confusion (Limerick)
Friday, September 5th, 2025I adore using prompt words, and yet,
Their abundance, at times, makes me fret:
Word choice tears me to bits;
My brain freezes, then flits,
As by ADHD I’m beset.
Creativity Unawakened (Limerick)
Friday, August 22nd, 2025I’m awakened; I’m eager to write.
But my thoughts are all scattered and trite.
“Where’d my muse go,” I cry.
“Has my wit-well gone dry?”
I scan prompts, sigh, and call it a night.
Haiku Switcheroo (Limerick)
Sunday, August 17th, 2025This limerick was inspired by a discussion on Bluesky about poets flouting haiku rules:
Haiku-Mavens have frequently said:
“Just get five-seven-five in your head.”
I do try — I’m no jerk!
But it often won’t work.
So I switch to a lim’rick instead.
Jumbled Limerick
Thursday, August 7th, 2025My poor brain is all jumbled. I’m wired.
I can’t sleep, though I’m terribly tired.
I just caught myself mumbling
Some rhyme words and grumbling.
In limerick fumbling I’m mired.
Bullies (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 9th, 2025My two blogs are big bullies, alas:
“Write more lim’ricks!” they coax and harass.
If I take a day off,
They will grumble and scoff:
“What’s your problem? You run out of gas?”
A Not So Minor Deviation (Limerick)
Monday, June 16th, 2025I consider myself a poetry minimalist. And yet, my attempt at responding to the #7SyllableSentence #pinch #prompt, somehow grew into this 40-syllable #limerick:
Please don’t tell me to add just a dash
Or a pinch of some item. That’s rash:
Though my fingers are smaller
Than most, I’m a brawler.
Be precise, or be blamed for my hash.
Whiny Writer (Limerick)
Monday, May 19th, 2025Whined a writer, I’m rusty and blocked.
I just can’t get my juices unlocked.
It’s the fault of my muse
Who’s gone AWOL. J’accuse!
Can’t remember the last time we talked.
Limerick Ditty
Thursday, April 10th, 2025I’m attempting to write a short ditty
About something that’s dreadfully shitty.
But I’m getting the blues
From my options — can’t choose
The right shitstorm. (Things lately ain’t pretty!)
Where’s “The Funny?” (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 12th, 2025How I love to write lim’ricks amusing!
But with news so depressing and bruising,
I’m confined to a tonic
Of verse that’s sardonic.
Blame my Muse! (She’s morose, so she’s snoozing.)
Distractions (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 16th, 2024I attempt to write lim’ricks each day.
But at times my damn mind won’t obey:
For my latest lim-slump
I blame tax forms and Trump.
Both distract me and WON’T GO AWAY!
The Haughty Professor (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 3rd, 2024A haughty old prof who wore tweed
Taught the classics (stuff most folks don’t read.)
A fine poet of note,
The man furtively wrote
Naughty lim’ricks with fervor and speed.
(Tweed Day falls annually on April 3rd.)
The Pros(e) And Cons Of English (Limerick)
Sunday, March 31st, 2024Written English is often bemusing
And it’s frequently downright confusing.
But it can be the source
Of fun wordplay, of course…
When my lazy-ass muse isn’t snoozing.
NOT Folderol (Limerick)
Saturday, November 18th, 2023No matter how much I may dodder
And appear to be naught but a plodder,
I hereby guarantee
That I always shall be
On the lookout for limerick fodder.
Gratitude? (Limerick)
Thursday, November 16th, 2023When my verse writes itself, I am grateful.
Out of nowhere it flows, feeling fateful;
No struggles with rhyme,
No battles with time.
Now if only it came by the crateful!
A Writer’s Lament (Limerick)
Thursday, September 7th, 2023I need to be funny today.
But, alas, I have nothing to say.
I can’t even concoct
A cute couplet; none’s stocked.
And my brain says, “I’m blocked. Go away!”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BOARD or BORED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 16, 2023)
Saturday, August 19th, 2023It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOARD or BORED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PITCH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PITCH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SINK, REFUSE, DAWN, ALARMING, CROWD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 17, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 16, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BOARD or BORED-Rhyme Limerick:
When a man reached an online accord
To buy wood, he was certain he’d scored.
But, alas, he had not;
He’d been duped by a bot
That sent rot and was NOT above board.
And here’s my PITCH-Themed Limerick:
Her singing was heartfelt and loud.
(With great volume that gal’s well-endowed.)
But her pitch was so sad,
The conductor (her dad)
Told his fans “It’s my bad,” as he bowed.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
It’s pre-dawn. I’m in front of the sink,
Washing up, while attempting to think
Of a rhyme. But my muse
Yawned and said, “I refuse.
Don’t abuse me. I’m NOT in the pink!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Embracing The Rules (Limerick)
Thursday, July 13th, 2023Lim’rick rules feel confining to some.
But I love them; they make my brain hum.
I embrace their constraints,
And I have no complaints…
Except when I fail and feel dumb.
