“You are constantly spouting some beef,”
Said his boss. “It’s non-stop. No relief!
Your complaints (mostly petty)
Don’t stick. They’re spaghetti.
Do your job and stop giving me grief!”
Archive for the ‘Workplace & Career Humor’ Category
The Pissed-Off Boss (Limerick)
Sunday, April 6th, 2025A Workplace Row (Limerick)
Saturday, January 11th, 2025When the staff mentioned leaks and a draft,
Their mean manager grimaced and laughed.
Then he raved and he ranted,
But soon was supplanted;
Staffers craftily pinned him for graft.
No Rest For The Weary? (Limerick)
Saturday, January 4th, 2025Some assert, “There’s no rest for the weary,”
A bleak proverb that makes many teary.
And yet I can attest
That a multi-bar rest
Tends to make bleary oboists cheery.
A Hairy Tale (Limerick)
Friday, April 19th, 2024I went gray at a premature age,
But embraced it and hoped to look sage.
For a lawyer sans penis
Back then? Mars v. Venus!
Young, female, and short — NOT the rage!
Wicked Old Woman (Limerick)
Friday, March 22nd, 2024An old woman, both wealthy and mean,
Had a home that was fit for a queen.
She’d knock staffers as thieves
And throw rocks at poor Jeeves…
Who took vengeance by “venting” her spleen.
The Reluctant Spy (Limerick)
Saturday, March 16th, 2024When a fellow was told he must spy
On his boss, he said “Never! Not I!
He’s terrific to work for,
A treasure to clerk for,
The best boss that money can buy!”
The Bad Employee (2-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, February 24th, 2024When a fellow awakened, still stoned
From the evening before, he bemoaned
His divorce from his wife,
The unfairness of life,
And a workplace where drugs aren’t condoned.
Sure enough, when he fin’ly appeared
At the office, things went as he feared:
“Get your gear and clear out,
You are fired, you lout,”
Yelled his mom. “Also, shave off that beard!”
The Arrogant Banker (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 31st, 2024An arrogant banker named Frank
Would always enjoy pulling rank.
And when things went awry,
He would shamelessly lie,
Blaming others — on THAT you could bank.
Another Useless “Holiday” (Limerick)
Saturday, January 27th, 2024For some inexplicable reason, today, January 27th, is “Punch The Clock Day.”
“Punch The Clock Day’s” (I’ll wager) a crock.
Why celebrate methods to dock
Someone’s pay? It’s absurd!
Moreover, I’m spurred
When awakened to punch that damn clock!
The Grumbly Staffer (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 16th, 2024“Work’s a slog,” grumbled Bob on his blog.
“I’m bogged down in my backlog; a cog
On a wheel that won’t stop.
I must go till I drop,
Though there’s time for a… Who stole my grog?!?”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CATCH or CATCHES at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 9, 2023)
Saturday, November 11th, 2023It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CATCH or CATCHES at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MISTAKES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MISTAKE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
FAULTY, HUSTLE, MEAN, POT, STICK.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 10, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 9, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CATCH/CATCHES-Rhyme Limerick:
Said a woman who’d just married Irv,
“Many friends tried to stop me. What nerve!
Do I love the guy? Natch!
He’s a wonderful catch…
Though I’m keeping divorce in reserve.”
And here’s my MISTAKE-Themed Limerick:
A thickheaded fellow named Fred
Had dreamed of becoming a Fed.
But it wasn’t to be;
In an interview, he
Kept confusing “dead drop” with “drop dead.”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
“This table is sticky. Please clean it,”
Said a restaurant patron. “I mean it!”
“I’ll be glad to,” the server
Replied with great fervor.
“But I can’t find my rag. Have you seen it?
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
The Disgruntled Worker (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 1st, 2023Said a worker, “My life’s out of whack:
I mow lawns on a large cul-de-sac.
How I hate dead-end jobs!
My employers are snobs.
They own mansions; I live in a shack!”
An Unnecessary Holiday? (Limerick)
Monday, October 16th, 2023For some inexplicable reason, today, October 16, is Boss’s Day.
(For the record, this isn’t personal. I’m retired, although I do vividly recall having a paranoid boss during my corporate lawyering days.)
I am cross and unglued, at a loss
As to what I should do, cuz my boss
Is a paranoid lout
With way too much clout,
Who drowns me in nothing but dross.
The Weary Weatherman (Limerick)
Sunday, September 10th, 2023Said a weatherman, weary and old,
“I’m bored with my job, truth be told.
I’d prefer to report
On the news or some sport;
About weather I blow hot and cold.”
Musical Lament (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 12th, 2023“My career choice was NOT the astutest;
There are very few jobs for a flutist.
How I wish that I heeded
My parents, who pleaded:
‘Don’t toot on that flute. Be a lutist!'”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DRINK or DRINKS at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: July 22, 2023)
Saturday, June 24th, 2023It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRINK or DRINKS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TASTE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TASTE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: ACE, AFRAID, FUNCTION, JADED, UPSET.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 23, 2023 , right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 22, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DRINK/DRINKS-Rhyme Limerick:
A nurse who appears on the brink
Of a breakdown stopped seeing her shrink.
“He’s been making me worse,”
She asserts with a curse.
“Plus he claims that I drove him to drink.”
And here’s my TASTE-Themed Limerick:
A gal with a poor sense of style
Hadn’t bought any clothes in a while.
So she purchased a dress,
A bright red, tasteless mess,
Way too ugly and gross to defile.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
I’m afraid that I’m being replaced
Based on nothing important; I’ve aced
All my functions and more,
Yet they’ve shown me the door.
Their grievance? They claim I eat paste.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
The Con Man (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2023A con man would speak off the cuff,
Spouting all sorts of nonsense and guff.
Loyal crowds stretched for blocks.
“You should come host for Fox,”
Said a staffer. “You’ve got the right stuff!”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BEAR or BARE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 27, 2023)
Saturday, April 29th, 2023It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BEAR or BARE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PREPARATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PREPARATION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: RATING, BRAVE, BROAD, APPLE, QUARRELSOME.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 28, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 27, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BEAR/BARE-Rhyme Limerick:
A generous fellow named Jack
Likes to give folks the shirt off his back.
But he doesn’t stop there;
He’ll undress until bare…
Which alas, got the poor man the sack.
And here’s my PREPARATION-Themed Limerick:
By now, we all know it’s essential
To prepare for a rainstorm torrential.
But at times, though we’re careful,
We end up despairful.
Never lowball a downpour’s potential!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
A quarrelsome broad known as Maude
Would always refuse to applaud.
And no matter how great
A show was, she’d rate
It a “C,” then berate it as flawed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Going In Circles (Limerick)
Thursday, March 9th, 2023Since I couldn’t find a prompt that tickled my muse today, I used an idiom list instead. Here’s the result:
I’m going in circles. Not fun!
It’s late and I’m irked — job’s undone.
Starting over’s upsetting;
I’m tense, anxious, fretting,
And fear that it’s back to square one.
The Key To Getting Along (Limerick)
Monday, October 17th, 2022My new boss and I get along well.
What’s our secret? We both never tell
One another our views
On religion and news.
(I suspect, though, he’s going to hell.)
*****
Happy National Boss Day!
