Archive for the ‘Transportation Humor’ Category
Sunday, December 29th, 2024
Poetry prompts are big on Bluesky. And one of them (the word “tour”) inspired me to write about something I’ve never written about before: touring with the Dallas Symphony way back in 1970.
So here’s both a limerick and a haiku about that experience.
Just imagine an orchestra tour
Via a bus. It was tough to endure:
Two long months on the road,
Bad hotels, our abode…
And no Net, so for boredom, no cure!
Traveled via bus
on 2-month orchestra tour–
Played oboe … and chess.
Tags: Dallas Symphony, Music Haiku, Music Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musician Humor, Oboe Humor, Oboe Limerick, Orchestra Tours, Tour Bus, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick
Posted in Computer Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Internet Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | 1 Comment »
Thursday, December 21st, 2023
A young pilot who’s devil-may-care
Jumped out of a plane, fully bare.
When the cops asked him why,
He replied, “I was high,
So I just took a flier. We square?”
Tags: Airplane Humor, Cops Humor, Flying Humor, Flying Limerick, Naked Limerick, Nudity Humor, Nudity Limerick, Pilots, Police Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limericks, Police Humor, Transportation Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, June 25th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PLATE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write CRAFT-themed limericks using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CRAFT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of these Random Words anywhere in your limericks: COMPLAINT CELL FORBID QUIRKY BOIL.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random words and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives into adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 24, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 23, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my PLATE-rhyme limerick:
A slacker was caught as he ate,
By the boss, who was rather irate.
His response, when reproved
For blown deadlines? Unmoved:
“Not my fault! I’ve too much on my plate.”
And here’s my CRAFT-themed limerick:
A ship-wrecked young man on a raft
Felt sev’ral strong wind gusts abaft.
He cursed his bad luck,
His life run amok,
And the death of his rickety craft.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
I’m sick of my cell phone co’s quirks.
Its service employees are jerks.
When I called to complain,
Their response was insane:
“Call again with a cell phone that works.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Boat Humor, Boat Limerick, Boating Humor, Boss Humor, Boss Limerick, Cell Phone Humor, Cell Phone Limerick, Competition Limerick, Complaint Humor, Complaint Limerick, Customer Service Humor, Employment Humor, Employment Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Phone Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Transportation, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Telephone Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 205 Comments »
Saturday, June 11th, 2022
Riding bikes while you’re naked sounds odd,
No matter the shape of your bod.
If you’re nude and ride past,
Kindly pedal by fast.
And do NOT expect ME to applaud!
(World Naked Bike Ride Day is celebrated each year on the second Saturday of June.)
Tags: Bawdy Limericks, Bicycle Humor, Bicycle Limerick, Bike Humor, Bike Limerick, June Holidays, Naked Bike Ride Day, Nudity, Nudity Humor, Nudity Limerick, Odd Holidays, World Naked Bike Ride Day
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Exercise Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Transportation Humor | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, December 15th, 2021
We were packed and all ready to jet
To a beachfront resort, when “Not yet,”
Said my wife. “I must go
Get my hair curled by Flo.”
Hours later: “Let’s leave. I’m all set.”
(For the record, I don’t have a wife. But I do have a procrastinating husband with no concept of time.)
Tags: Delays Humor, Delays Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Vacation Humor, Vacation Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Holiday Humor, Idiom Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Procrastination Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Time Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Exit Interruptus
Monday, November 22nd, 2021
The driver made such a loud fuss
Over new jitney wages, each cuss
As he bitched about pay
Could be heard blocks away…
So the man was thrown under the bus.
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Bus Driver Humor, Bus Driver Limerick, Bus Humor, Bus Limerick, Complaint Humor, Complaint Limerick, Cursing Humor, Cursing Limerick, Employment Humor, Employment Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Jitney Humor, Jitney Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Pay Humor, Pay Limerick, Transportation Humor, Transportation Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Wage Humor, Wage Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Wage Madness (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 11th, 2021
In case you’re wondering, Mark has NEVER had to say this to me:
Please don’t dally; you’re wasting our time.
We are late, so stop playing with rhyme.
Stare at RhymeZone tonight,
Or we’ll miss our damn our flight.
Let’s leave while I’m still in my prime.
Tags: Distractions, Obsession Verse, Rhyme Humor, Rhyming Obsession, Time Humor, Time Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Obsessions Humor, Time Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Dalliance With Delay (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 8th, 2021
I found myself trapped among honkers
On a traffic-filled road deep in Yonkers.
Construction ahead?
A shooting? Some dead?
Whatever it was … they’d gone bonkers.
Tags: Bonkers, Car & Driving Humor, Car Limerick, Driving Humor, Driving Limerick, Mental Health Humor, Noise Humor, Noise Limerick, Traffic Humor, Traffic Limerick, Transportation Humor, Transportation Limerick
Posted in Car & Driving Humor, Mental Health Humor, Noise Humor, Transportation Humor | Comments Off on Traffic Tale (Limerick)
Saturday, May 11th, 2019
Pilots know their career’s on the wane
When bosses respond with disdain
To suggestions they make,
And tell them to take
A long trip on a very slow train.
(National Train Day falls on the second Saturday of May.)
Tags: Airplane Humor, Career Humor, May Holidays, Odd Holidays, Pilots, Plane Humor, Plane Limerick, Planes, Train Day, Train Humor, Train Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor
Posted in Limericks, Odd Holidays, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | Comments Off on Piloting Careers (Limerick)
Friday, April 20th, 2018
I concede this sounds rather insane,
But I found my true love on a train;
Not a club, not a bar,
But the LIRR
Changed my life — gave me Mark Gary Kane.
Tags: Anniversary Humor, Commuting Humor, Husband Wife Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, LIRR, Long Island Rail Road, Mark Kane, Marriage Humor, Marriage Verse, Trains
Posted in Dating Humor, Life With Mark And Madeleine, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Personal, Relationship Humor, Transportation Humor | Comments Off on Happy 41st Meeting Anniversary To Hubby Mark (Limerick)
Saturday, February 3rd, 2018
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RAIL or DERAIL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to the WINTER OLYMPICS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best WINTER OLYMPICS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 18, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 17, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I frequently travel by rail
And would rather ride trains than set sail,
Cuz a train was the place
Where I first saw the face
Of my husband … plus torso and tail.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Boating Humor, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Sailing Humor, Train Limerick, Train Travel, Travel Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | 104 Comments »
Sunday, October 16th, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CAB at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FRUIT, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FRUIT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on Oct 30, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 29, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A garrulous gadfly would gab,
Driving ev’ryone nuts as he’d blab.
People longed to be spared
The critiques that he aired,
En route to their flights in his cab.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Cab Humor, Communication Humor, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Speech Humor, Talkativeness, Taxi Limerick, Transportation, Travel Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | 90 Comments »
Saturday, March 19th, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LAID or MISLAID or DELAYED at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GREED, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GREED-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 3, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 2 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A woman whose plane was delayed
Yelled and flew off the handle, then prayed.
Fellow passengers, scared
By her conduct, soon aired
Their dismay: “Help! We plainly need aid!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Air Flight, Airplane Humor, Competition Limerick, Flight Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Passenger Humor, Planes, Poetry & Prompts, Transportation, Travel Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | 140 Comments »
Monday, April 20th, 2015
Happy “meeting anniversary” to my wonderful husband Mark. (April 20, 1977, aboard the LIRR)
Dear Long Island Rail Road, my debt
To your system, I’ll never forget.
Back in Seventy-Seven
Your train car was heaven:
‘Twas the place where my spouse and I met.
(More epistolary poems here.)
UPDATE: Someone on Facebook asked for more details about our meeting on the train. Here’s what I wrote:
Re your questions, for some odd reason (possibly love at first sight, which I don’t even believe in) I did something very uncharacteristic of me when I saw Mark come bopping up the train’s aisle: I smiled and gave him “the eye.” He just looked so handsome and cute, and I liked his eyes and willed him to sit across from me. (It was the end of a long, tiring day — a full day of law school, followed by a trip into Manhattan for a symphony orchestra rehearsal. And I was feeling both exhausted and hyper.)
Anyway, Mark smiled back and then, much to my chagrin, he kept on bopping past me and past lots of empty seats and went into the next train car.
I figured I’d never see him again and then, suddenly, Mark returned to my car, walked past the empty seats again, and sat across from me. His first words to me were: “Boy, you look tired!” Which provoked a monologue by me about everything I’d done that day, followed by a monologue by him detailing his rather full day.
Seven weeks later, we were engaged.
Tags: Anniversary Humor, Epistolary Limerick, Epistolary Poems, Husband Wife Limerick, Letter Poems, LIRR, Long Island Rail Road, Mark Kane, Trains
Posted in Letter Limericks, Limericks, Personal, Relationship Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | Comments Off on Dear Long Island Rail Road (Limerick)
Saturday, March 28th, 2015
My come-hither look
was all that it took.
Mark at first tried to book,
but returned … on the hook.
As Mark likes to say, true story:
Mark spots me, already seated, while he’s walking through a half-empty Long Island Rail Road car. I smile at him. He smiles at me. And then, instead of sitting across from me, Mark keeps walking and goes into another half-empty train car.
A couple of minutes later he rethinks this, turns around, comes back, and sits across from me.
Seven weeks later Mark proposes, and I say yes, wondering what took him so long.
(All this happened way back in 1977.)
Tags: Commuting Humor, Husband Wife Humor, LIRR, Mark Kane, Marriage Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Personal, Quaterns, Quatrains Humor, Relationship Humor, Transportation Humor | Comments Off on How I Met My Husband
Thursday, November 6th, 2014
Limerick Fair
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Your fare is unfair,” said the fare,
When he got from the fair to Times Square.
“You cab driving cheater,
You rigged up your meter.
Here’s a tip: I’m not paying you. Ne’er!”
(DversePoets asks us to write verse using the word fair.)
Tags: Cab Fare Humor, Cab Humor, Country Fairs, Money Limerick, Taxi Limerick, Times Square
Posted in Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Transportation Humor | 16 Comments »
Tuesday, August 26th, 2014
After reading about the “Knee Defender” scuffle on board a United Airlines flight, I just had to write a limerick:
The fight started on a United Airlines flight because one passenger was using the Knee Defender, a $21.95 gadget that attaches to a passenger’s tray table and prevents the person in front of them from reclining.
… A flight attendant asked him to remove the device and he refused. The woman then stood up, turned around and threw a cup of water at him, the official says. That’s when United decided to land in Chicago. The two passengers were not allowed to continue to Denver.
Does The “Knee Defender” Have Legs? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I’m short, there’s no room for my knees
When I fly, without paying high fees.
But I’d never react
With a tool to contract
Someone’s space, just to feel more at ease.
So the use of a plane “Knee Defender”
Is offensive to me — a contender
For a selfishness prize.
So women and guys,
If you try it, I’ll bitch. You’ll surrender.
Tags: Air Flight, Airlines, Airplane Humor, Airplane Trips, Flight Humor, Flying Humor, Knee Defender, Transportation, Travel, Travel Humor, United Airlines
Posted in Limericks, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
Limerick Ode To Aviation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On this day, aviation shines bright;
Brother Orville, a father of flight,
Gets a birthday ovation
By prez proclamation.
Those who think today’s special are (w)right.
(December 17 is Wright Brothers Day.)
Tags: Air Flight, Airline Humor, Airplane Trips, August Holidays, December Holidays, Flight Humor, Flying Humor, Odd Holidays, Orville Wright, Pilots, Transportation, Travel Humor, Travel Poetry, Wilbur Wright, Wright Brothers, Wright Brothers Day
Posted in Birthday Verse, Celebrity Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Public Figures, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Aviation Day (August 19)
Wednesday, October 2nd, 2013
A striking headline: Train Runs Over Couple Having Sex on Tracks.
When Sex Is A Train Wreck (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are folks who like sex when it’s risky.
Taking chances can make them quite frisky.
But sex on the tracks,
Is mad to the max.
Their coitus, I’d guess, involved whiskey.
Update: April 23 is “Take A Chance Day.”
Tags: Accidents, April Holidays, Bawdy Humor, Danger Limerick, Intercourse Humor, Odd Holidays, Railroad, Sex Humor, Take A Chance Day, Train Limerick, Train Tracks, Trains, Transportation
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Commuting Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Romance Humor, Stupidity Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 20th, 2013
Today on Facebook, someone posted a photo of a short, female subway rider using a plunger on the train ceiling, so she could remain standing without losing her balance. Since I too am a short, subway-challenged woman, I was inspired to write this limerick:
Taking The Plunge (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am thinking of taking the plunge:
Subway plungers might help prevent lunge
And thusly forestall
A terrible fall.
But I need one not covered in grunge.
Tags: Commuting Humor, New York City Subway, Plunger, Short People Humor, Subway Limerick, Subway Riding Humor, Train Limerick, Trains, Transportation
Posted in Commuting Verse, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor | 16 Comments »