Archive for the ‘Time Humor’ Category

Here We Go Again With The Clocks (Haiku)

Saturday, November 5th, 2022

Trashy Timing (Limerick)

Sunday, September 4th, 2022

We DID have a rainstorm today.
It poured for four minutes, I’d say;
It began as I dropped
Our trash curbside … then stopped
As I ended my short outdoors stay.

An Age Old Protest (Limerick)

Saturday, March 12th, 2022

I’ve been told to “Spring forward!” Can’t do!
With my knees? Are you kidding? I’m through:
No more jumping and running
And springing! I’m shunning
Such acts. You mean “clock movement?” Whew!

Exit Interruptus

Wednesday, December 15th, 2021

We were packed and all ready to jet
To a beachfront resort, when “Not yet,”
Said my wife. “I must go
Get my hair curled by Flo.”
Hours later: “Let’s leave. I’m all set.”

(For the record, I don’t have a wife. But I do have a procrastinating husband with no concept of time.)

Timeless Limerick

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2021

Bought a grandfather clock — famous brand.
(It is lauded throughout our great land.)
But the time it displays
Has been faulty for days.
That’s the last time I buy secondhand.

Dalliance With Delay (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 11th, 2021

In case you’re wondering, Mark has NEVER had to say this to me:

Please don’t dally; you’re wasting our time.
We are late, so stop playing with rhyme.
Stare at RhymeZone tonight,
Or we’ll miss our damn our flight.
Let’s leave while I’m still in my prime.

Retirement Quandary (Limerick)

Thursday, August 5th, 2021

Mark’s retired. Congrats! He’s now free
To play twenty-four-seven with ME.
But one question: Just when
Is my down time to pen
Silly lim’ricks? (I might have to flee.)

Sundry Haiku

Saturday, July 11th, 2015

I’d like the freedom
to not write haiku today,
but my brain insists.

*****

I am at the stage
where I like being on stage
with or without one.

*****

My near-rhyme rejects
turned limerick leftovers
find homes in haiku.

*****

I’m often impressed
by the drawing power
of unknown painters.

*****

Forgive and forget?
I keep meaning to forgive,
but I forget to.

*****

Your belief system
makes you feel superior?
Then it’s failing you.

*****

My muse goes yonder
as I wander in wonder
at time I squander.

*****

Spiders and crawlers
are welcome in my domain
if sent by Google.

*****

I should have prepared
for extemporization
but ran out of time.

*****

Music needs pauses;
I get restless when a piece
doesn’t have any.

*****

Limerick Knock (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, February 16th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal heard a rather loud knock…*

or

A fellow would frequently knock…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Knock
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A pawnbroker tended to knock
All those people who “live by the clock.”
When they buried the slime,
Folks lost track of the time,
And the sole attendee spoke ad hoc.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Time Flies (Limerick)

Saturday, October 20th, 2012

Dverse Poets asks us to write a poem about the passage of time. Here’s mine.

Time Flies (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Time flies” is a popular phrase.
So it does, and in frightening ways.
Where’s it go? I don’t know.
And there’s no way to slow
It all down. Simply relish the days.

Time’s “Flight” (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 6th, 2012

Miss Rumphius asks us to write about the passage of time:

Time’s “Flight” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It is said that “time flies,” but that’s wrong,
Cuz the flights I’ve been on take too long.
I think time really flees
In a flash. It’s a tease,
Speeding fast as a dreadful act’s gong.

Demanding Limerick

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

Demanding Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow with time on his hands
Was making incessant demands.
“I’m busy, you’re not,”
Said his wife, getting hot.
“So take care of your own manly glands.”

Tax Time, Already?

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

Tax Time, Already? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s tax time again — I’ve been lax.
Am I stalling? Oh yes, to the max.
Cuz I’d rather write verse
Than struggle and curse
Over taxing mathematical facts.

(You can find lots more of my money and tax humor columns and verse here.)

Late Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, March 20th, 2011

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was terribly late…

or

A woman was terribly late…

Here’s mine:

Late Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was terribly late
To a job meeting key to his fate.
The job seemed a lock
Till he mis-set his clock,
But at least he remembered the date.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To Daylight Saving Time

Saturday, March 12th, 2011

Limerick Ode To Daylight Saving Time
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Our clocks all need changing tonight.
Daylight Saving Time — oh what a blight!
We may think it a crock,
But must alter each clock
Till the powers that be see the light.

(More DST humor here.)

Late Limerick Limerick Audio

Monday, October 25th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was late for his train…

Here’s mine, and my audio version is here. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Late Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was late for his train.
Being tardy was always his bane.
In his youth and his prime
He was rarely on time,
Which drove his whole fam’ly insane.

After years of his lateness, his mate
Lost her mind — she was way past irate.
Using all of her might
She beat him for spite.
Now that fellow’s eternally late.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

High-Tech Limerick

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who hated high tech…

Here’s mine:

High-Tech Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who hated high tech
Found computers a pain in the neck.
Whether Mac or PC,
How that gal longed to flee
Back five decades — a time machine trek.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Save Me From Daylight Savings Time

Sunday, March 14th, 2010

Are you as sick as I am of our twice-yearly clock-adjustment ritual? Do you think, as I do, that we have more than enough daylight and that there’s no need to save any?

I’m sorry, but my internal clock is sufficiently confused and doesn’t need Daylight Savings Time to make my chronic insomnia even worse. And I’m inclined to clock the next person who reminds me to change my damn clocks.

Save Me From Daylight Savings Time (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My natural clock is a mess.
Just thinking of sleep gives me stress.
Spring forward—fall back
Makes me more out of whack.
So I don’t change my clocks — I just guess.

(More DST humor here.)

Feed Needs

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

In simpler (pre-social networking) days, I suffered from just one web addiction — checking my email. And that was bad enough.

But now it’s Facebook and Twitter and blogging, oh my!

And for some people, it’s even worse. I guess I should be relieved that I don’t especially dig Digg, and that MySpace hasn’t invaded my brain space. And that (so far, at least) I’ve withstood the lure of most of the social networking and social media websites listed here in all their gory glory.

Because, as you can tell from this limerick, I don’t need any more web obsessions:

Feed Needs
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m addicted to Facebook, it’s true,
And Twitter and weblogging too.
I’m desp’rately hooked.
All my hours are booked
On my quest to be fed something new.

Commuter Woes

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

It’s time for another limerick-off.  Feel free to write your own limerick, using the same first line, and post it in my comments and on Facebook.

Commuter Woes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a fellow named Wayne
Who commuted each day on the train.
The fare was a crime.
It was rarely on time,
Yet was faster than taking a plane.