Fair Game
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I would never purport
to engage in a sport
unless mockery counts;
I do massive amounts.
I make comments in sport
that make some people snort.
I’m unsporting, some claim,
When at pols I take aim.
But those pols are fair game.
Their behavior’s to blame,
And they reap what they sow.
So it’s on with the show.
My come-hither look
was all that it took.
Mark at first tried to book,
but returned … on the hook.
As Mark likes to say, true story:
Mark spots me, already seated, while he’s walking through a half-empty Long Island Rail Road car. I smile at him. He smiles at me. And then, instead of sitting across from me, Mark keeps walking and goes into another half-empty train car.
A couple of minutes later he rethinks this, turns around, comes back, and sits across from me.
Seven weeks later Mark proposes, and I say yes, wondering what took him so long.
(All this happened way back in 1977.)
Yet Another Anti-Winter Poem
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh damn you winter! Go away!
Why can’t you take a hint today?
Intruding on our spring delights
With snow is NOT within your rights.
The calendar has made it clear
It’s spring. So why are YOU still here?
I’ve foolishly already stored
Our boots and shovels, long abhorred.
I’m forced to fetch them one more time
For duties not at all sublime.
Your crime of trespass? No mere gaffe!
I just might sue on spring’s behalf.
There’s wit that is lambent.
There’s humor that’s bent.
I’m feeling quite sheepish;
Had to search what “lambent” meant.
(Inspired by the Twitter #WordStew prompt: LAMBENT.)
View my Lambent quatrain image here.
Happy “National Bird Day!”
A birder who’d frequently swear
His toupée was in fact his real hair,
Was caught by a gust,
And his toupe, not just mussed,
Flew the coop, leaving pate rather bare.
*****
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” —
People tell me that all of the time.
Such axioms give me a pain in the tush.
Were I queen, I would make them a crime.
Here’s my two-verse quatrain poem, in honor of Peculiar People Day. (January 10)
Ode To Peculiar People
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My peculiar predilection:
I like people who are odd.
I’ll applaud a little strangeness,
But find “normal” humans flawed.
That makes perfect sense: they tell me
I am rather “weird” myself.
I don’t mind critiques and putdowns—
Just don’t call me “off the shelf.”
Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I live in a town where it’s pleasant to stroll.
We do most of our errands on foot.
But it’s frightfully cold. “Let’s stay home,” I cajole.
Forget milk! Let’s be smart and stay put.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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