Archive for the ‘Poetry Contest’ Category

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DO or DUE or DEW or ADO at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: March 13, 2021)

Saturday, February 27th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DO or DUE or DEW or ADO at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BUGS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BUGS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 14, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 13, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my DO or DUE or DEW or ADO-rhyme limerick:

On the verge of proclaiming, “I do,”
The bride nearly fell off her shoe.
“It’s a message from God.
Don’t marry this clod!”
Yelled her mom. “God likes Stu better too!”

And here’s my BUGS-themed limerick:

“This software is buggy as hell.
How dare you maintain it works well!
I’m bugged, so don’t shrug;
I’m pulling the plug
In a week, if the code doesn’t jell.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (464)

Saturday, February 27th, 2021

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

The stuff we call Time can’t be seen;
One instant it’s here, – then it’s been.
When you kiss on a hill,
It sublimely stands still,
But in Greenwich, U.K. it’s just mean.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special Weed(s)-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

Tim James:

How’s a gardener battling weeds
Like a john craving sexual deeds?
Answer: Each has a goal
At the end of a pole.
A ho(e) will serve both of their needs.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Rudy Landesman, John Edwards, Sondra Landin, Kirk Miller, Thomas Vincent, Tim James, David Friedman, Dave Johnson, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Suzanne Heymann, Jean McEwen, Bob Turvey, and Tony Holmes. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: “MEAN or MIEN or DEMEAN” RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO “WEEDs” LIMERICKS)

Brian Allgar:

At last, it’s stopped freezing and snowing;
It’s Spring, and my garden is growing …
Bloody hell! I’ve just seen
Mother Nature’s been mean –
It’s only the weeds that are showing!

Rudy Landesman:

My last lim’rick, I now must concede
Did not mention a single wild weed.
And I’m sure you have seen
My misplacement of “mean,”
Two egregious transgressions, indeed.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“MEAN or MIEN or DEMEAN” RHYME DIVISION)

John Edwards:

There once was a weedy old dean
Who made up a lewd mondegreen.
His crude oronym,
He penned on a whim.
But what, you might ask, did demean?

Sondra Landin:

My dishwasher’s gone on the blink,
Dirty dishes piled high in the sink.
And I find it so mean:
There’re no guests to be seen;
They fled fast after food and last drink!

Kirk Miller:

There once was a woman named Jean
Who had the most dignified mien.
“I’m addicted to soap,”
She admitted. “I hope
That with treatment, I’ll soon become clean.”

Thomas Vincent:

Ophelia’s a regular teen
Whose grades always fall in between;
Not high and not low,
Just average, although
To note it still seems pretty mean.

Tim James:

A woman whose skin is bright green
Is the nastiest witch ever seen.
She will terrorize you
(And your little dog, too).
Her behavior in toto is mean.

David Friedman:

The wife of poor Jeremy Green
Is the nastiest bitch ever seen;
To hell she’d subject him,
Then offer her rectum,
The end justifying the mean.

Dave Johnson:

The former guy’s angry and mean;
Still constantly venting his spleen.
But lately the spew
Is no longer in view;
His Twitter bird flew from the scene.

Tim James:

Right-wing hacks used to hurry to score
Angry points in their “cultural war” —
To be first on the scene
With their rage, loud and mean.
But today? There’s no Rush anymore.

Dave Johnson:

He shows a cantankerous mien;
Intent on provoking a scene.
He’s letting us know
Just who’s running the show:
Our cat, when his box isn’t clean.

Sjaan vandenBroeder:

My retriever is halfway between
Pale yellow and orange in sheen.
If you think he’s a cur,
Take a look at his fur —
He’s authentic. A real Golden Mean.

Bob Turvey:

Six women, all young, fit and keen
Wanted ACTION (you know what I mean) –
Now they all loved one guy,
And he said he would try –
The fun’ral’s next week in Racine.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (WEED(s) LIMERICK DIVISION)

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:

I admit that I lose all control
When I’m dancing to rock or to soul.
Then I get me some weed.
(Satisfaction indeed!)
It’s so cool when I rock and then roll.

Suzanne Heymann:

If you give groups of boys each a gun,
Pretty soon they will shoot ev’ryone.
But put weed in their hand
And they soon form a band
And spread peace in the land, having fun.

Jean McEwen:

The brownies I bake? Guaranteed
To please the whole crowd. I’ll concede:
They can taste a bit grassy,
But folks find them classy.
My secret? I spike them with weed!

Bob Turvey:

Said a nudist, “I love to sting nettles –
And I sting both their leaves and their petals
With a weed killer spray,
Which just burns them away.
How I relish those old scores it settles!

Sjaan vandenBroeder:

The weeds in my yard make me leery;
Tall creatures that stalk me — it’s eerie.
They hide pistils that shoot
Through my foil hazmat suit.
(It’s true. Not conspiracy theory.)

Tony Holmes:

Lawn perfectionist, Emerson Flaunts,
Would wake screaming. “The image! It haunts!
Grinning up from the sward,
Like a Mardi Gras horde,
Dandelions and daisies hurl taunts.”

David Friedman:

The drug couns’lor asked, “Who would need
This bud or this leaf or this seed?
And who’d waste an hour
Just smoking this flower?”
We speedily answered him: “We’d!”

Sjaan VandenBroeder:

What with weeds, germs, and virus galore,
I was sure we had ev’ry known spore.
But it seems we are short
The microbial sort,
So we’ve flown off to Mars to get more.

Dave Johnson:

When deer are out doing their deeds,
This guideline each one of them heeds:
“We’re claiming these flowers
And yard plants as ours;
Those humans can have all the weeds.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MEAN or MIEN or DEMEAN at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 27, 2021)

Saturday, February 13th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MEAN or MIEN or DEMEAN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WEED(s), using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best -related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 28, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 27, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my Mean/Mien/Demean-rhyme limerick:

A man who had long gone to seed,
Once was hunky and handsome, indeed.
But no more; he is mean,
Vain, and even obscene,
And his visage now mirrors his greed.

And here’s my Weed(s)-themed limerick:

I’m irate and upset: I’ve been sued
By a cranky, litigious old dude,
Who claims that my weeds
Wrecked his lawn with their seeds.
He’s a lawyer, which means that I’m screwed.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (463)

Saturday, February 13th, 2021

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

The plumber piped up, speaking plain,
“All this crap here has blocked up your main.”
So I paid him to break
Up the clog with his snake.
But the thing fell asleep in the drain.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special BILLS-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

At the zoo, all the rents steeply rose;
Now each beast strains to pay what it owes.
Ev’ry gator and croc
Had to go into hock,
And the elephants paid through the nose.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Thomas Vincent, Sondra Landin, Tim James, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sue Dulley, Bob Turvey, Brian Allgar, Jean McEwen, Rudy Landesman, and Paul Haebig. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (MAIN or MANE or MAINE or DOMAIN-RHYME DIVISION)

Thomas Vincent:

If your horse looks too drab and too plain,
Wax its saddle and stirrups and rein.
You can brush its tail too,
But whatever you do
Don’t forget to remember the mane.

Sondra Landin:

I knew a nice farm girl in Maine
Who was seeking a swain, but in vain.
She would grumble and mumble
While swiping on Bumble:
“On-line dating is barren terrain!”

Tim James:

The company’s problem was plain:
How to make a loss look like a gain?
So the numbers were cooked
And the “profits” were booked.
’Twas a nice feat of ledgerdemain.

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:

At “Old Biddy Hill” here on Main,
The senior folk groan and complain.
And year after year,
I repeatedly hear:
“Just who in the hell stole my cane?”

Sue Dulley:

Allan Sherman wrote home to complain
Camp was hard to endure in the rain,
But much worse for Joe Spivey
Who caught poison ivy,
And Skinner, who’s sick with ptomaine.

Bob Turvey:

An out-of-doors dancer from Maine
Once had a rough time in the rain.
A bad skid in the dance
Left a knot in his pants
And his poor penis purple with pain.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (BILLS-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION)

Brian Allgar:

“Tubman’s face on a twenty, that pill?”
Whines Donald, splenetic and shrill.
“It shoulda been me!”
And I almost agree –
Put his face on a three-dollar bill.

Tim James:

My proctologist hasn’t much class:
After treatments, he lets no time pass
Before sending his bill.
(Of compassion there’s nil.)
The guy’s just a pain in the ass.

Jean McEwen:

Watching bills (much like sausage) get made
May be all that it takes to persuade
Folks to roundly reject
The dumb pols they elect
And then send them right back to first grade.

Sue Dulley:

A Bill is by no means unique:
It’s a name, or a debt to pay (eek!)
Or it could be a law;
On a bird it’s the jaw
But for that there’s a better word: Beak.

Lisi Nortman:

The hooker I meet gives me thrills.
She knows all those cool naughty skills.
“Wifey” found my receipt
And screamed, “You’re a cheat!”
So now I pay Lulu in bills.

Rudy Landesman:

A person from Beverly Hills
Had frequently altered his wills.
His heirs were bereft,
For nothing was left:
The lawyers had padded their bills.

Paul Haebig:

I’ve heard of unusual wills
But nothing to top my friend Jill’s:
The language provides
For limousine rides
For her pug, and to pay all his bills!

Thomas Vincent:

A football fanatic named Stills
Who got caught with his hand in the tills
Said, “Judge, let me go
Cause I need all this dough
To pay off my Buffalo Bills.”

Brian Allgar:

“This creature is weirdly designed,
Like a beaver and otter combined,
With a bill like a duck,”
Darwin said. “WTF?
God must have been out of His mind!”

Tim James:

Mr. Dunn chases folks on the run;
At his job he is second to none.
He collects unpaid bills,
And it gives him great thrills.
Dunn has fun till he’s done with the dun.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MAIN or MANE or MAINE or DOMAIN at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Feb. 13, 2021 )

Saturday, January 30th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MAIN or MANE or MAINE or DOMAIN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BILLS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BILLS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 14, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 13, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my MAIN/MANE/MAINE/DOMAIN-rhyme limerick:

A wicked young woman from Maine
Had a mane that was dyed “pink champagne.”
Her name was Rosé
“No not ‘Rose,'” she would say
With disdain, being prickly and vain.

And here’s my BILLS-themed limerick:

The hall had a lovely array
Of flowers on fragrant display.
But the bride wasn’t pleased,
“I’m allergic,” she wheezed.
“If I’m dead, don’t expect me to pay.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Locks or Lox or Lochs or Lawks at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 30, 2021)

Saturday, January 16th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Locks or Lox or Lochs or Lawks at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Instruments, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Instruments-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 31, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 30, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my Locks/Lox/Lochs/Lawks-rhyme limerick:

“See that gal over there? What a fox!”
Said a man of a woman whose locks
Were curly and long
And worthy of song.
But the rest of her? More like an ox.

And here’s my Instruments-themed limerick:

A musician I know plays the lute,
And her husband is gifted on flute.
They duet ev’ry day
On their instruments. Hey!
Your mind OUT of the gutter, you brute!

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: COLD at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Jan. 16, 2021)

Saturday, January 2nd, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using COLD at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to KNITTING, SEWING, and/or OTHER NEEDLEWORK CRAFTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best KNITTING, SEWING, and/or OTHER NEEDLEWORK CRAFTS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 17, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 16, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my COLD-rhyme limerick:

A lamb on the lam disappeared;
“I’ll be eaten for dinner,” it feared.
But when found, wet and cold,
“You’re not food,” it was told.
“But we DO need our weeds and brush cleared.”

And here’s my KNITTING, SEWING, & OTHER NEEDLEWORK CRAFTS-themed limerick:

I’m begging: Don’t ask me to knit,
Cuz whatever I make, it won’t fit.
I am dreadful at “throwing.”
The same goes for sewing.
(But my nitpicking’s often a hit.)

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MOUSSE or MOOSE or VAMOOSE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 2, 2021)

Saturday, December 19th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MOUSSE or MOOSE or VAMOOSE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ART, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ART-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 3, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 2, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my MOUSSE/MOOSE/VAMOOSE-rhyme limerick:

I encountered a moose and a goose
On the roadway and told them, “Vamoose!”
They ignored me, alas,
So my car could not pass.
(I’m still there shouting verbal abuse.)

And here’s my ART-themed limerick:

The wall had an animal frieze;
Cows and goats, with occasional trees–
Mostly evergreens — laurel —
And images floral.
Lovely art, but one look made me sneeze.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MODE/MOWED/COMMODE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 19, 2020)

Saturday, December 5th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MODE or MOWED or COMMODE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MARKETS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MARKET-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 20, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 19, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my MODE/MOWED/COMMODE-rhyme limerick:

I failed to gain ground as I rowed;
When it’s windy and rainy this mode
Of transit is risky.
Boat’s frisky. Craved whiskey!
But mostly I longed to be towed.

And here’s my MARKETS-themed limerick:

I’m amazed when I see people graze
At the market, as if at buffets.
It is one thing to try
A sample, but why
Eat enough food to last them for days.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (458)

Saturday, December 5th, 2020

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

“To my girlfriend,” wrote ardent Bernard
(Who considered himself quite the bard),
“You’re a treasure, sweet Jo;
You make love like a pro.”
He got dumped. Writing poetry’s hard!

Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER, who wins the Special LITIGATION-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

I’m poor now, but boy, if you knew me
When I was still rich, that’s the true me!
I said, “I’m the king!
Bow down! Kiss my ring!”
But I shouldn’t have added, “So sue me!”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sjaan VandenBroeder, Dave Johnson, Mark Mironer, Brian Allgar, Tony Holmes, Sharon Neeman, Terry Marter, Tim James, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, and Konrad Schwoerke, Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“BARD, BARRED, DISBARRED, or BOMBARD” RHYME DIVISION)

Sjaan VandenBroeder:

You can use it for salads or stock;
You can smoke it like pot (that’s no crock.)
You can even bombard
Streets with petrified chard
To keep leaf blowers off of your block.

Dave Johnson:

Our nation is limping and scarred
By his criminal lack of regard.
With Trump on the way
Out the door, I do pray
That his next house is walled-off and barred.

Mark Mironer:

Poor Donnie is taking it hard
So he’s hunting for votes to discard.
Sent his crooked A.G.
On a fraud faking spree.
Certifiably Barr’ll be disbarred.

Sjaan VandenBroeder:

“Would you care for a piece of my chard?”
(But by “piece” I was sure he meant “shard.”)
“Not one fragment, one sliver,”
Said I with a shiver.
(From my table these days Sade is barred.)

Brian Allgar:

The windows were padlocked and barred.
The detectives were stumped; Scotland Yard
Called a private detective
Who’d prove more effective:
“Sherlock Holmes” was the name on his card.

Inspector Lestrade was quite shocked
By how quickly the case was unblocked.
Said Holmes, “Element’ry!
The burglar gained entry
By op’ning this door – it’s not locked!”

HONORABLE MENTIONS (LITIGATION LIMERICK DIVISION)

Tony Holmes:

Two confectioners rushed into court,
Each demanding, “You must try my torte!”
“Let the jury decide,”
Said the judge. “I’ll preside.
We’re in session. Let counsel exhort!”

Brian Allgar:

Rudy cries “I’ll continue to sue
Ev’ry state that attempts to vote blue!
And as for my face,
It’s a total disgrace,
So I’m suing those dye-makers too.”

Sharon Neeman:

It behooves the American nation,
In this era of grave infestation,
To wash hands and wear masks,
Avoid crowds and shared flasks,
And refrain from inane litigation.

Terry Marter:

It’s goodbye to that house you’re vacating
And straight to that cell block awaiting.
You can pout, you can frown,
But you’re still goin’ down.
It’s over, — no courtroom debating.

Tim James:

A man filing suit after suit
Found that none of them bore any fruit.
Plus, his client, a jerk,
May not pay for the work.
Rudy couldn’t have been less astute.

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:

“Did you kill that girl some folks called Flo?
Whose cheeks were so pink that they’d glow?”
“Well, I chopped off her head
And then left her for dead.”
“Mr. Johnson, please say, “yes” or “no.”

Sjaan VandenBroeder:

A young con man who knew no chagrin,
Told his dad, “I’m so practiced at spin,
I should go into Law.”
“That sounds good,” said his paw.
“I was hoping you’d turn yourself in.”

Konrad Schwoerke:

I’d not promised a thing when she blew me,
So her lawyer’s curt letter sure threw me.
I don’t fathom what HE meant
By “oral agreement,”
But I’ll lick her in court should she sue me.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BARD, BARRED, DISBARRED, or BOMBARD at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 5, 2020)

Saturday, November 21st, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BARD, BARRED, DISBARRED, or BOMBARD at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LITIGATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LITIGATION-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 6, 2020 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 5, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my BARD, BARRED, DISBARRED, or BOMBARD-rhyme limerick:

Don’t make me eat chard that’s been charred.
Even non-charred, I find it quite hard
To eat and digest.
At my tastebuds’ behest,
Be on guard against chard. It’s been barred.

And here’s my LITIGATION-themed limerick:

The litigants reached an accord;
One that none of the parties adored.
“That’s as it should be,”
Said the judge. “I decree
This case closed. None too soon! I was bored.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (457)

Saturday, November 21st, 2020

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to SHARON NEEMAN, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

This may not be a subject for jokes,
But I’m one of a whole bunch of folks
Who’d be pleased if a spell
Turned the Leader from Hell
To a frog… and won’t mind if he croaks.

Congratulations to TONY HOLMES, who wins the Special CONFESSION-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

“As I watched Mrs. Smithers undress,
I confess, I was under duress.
Were it not for the ropes
That now shackled my hopes,
I would leap to her side and transgress.”

Congratulations to RICHARD CAMPBELL, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award, occasionally given to a clever multi-verse limerick.

Hi, I’m Rick; I’m a lim’rickaholic.
Through these fun little verses I frolic,
Neglecting my wife
And all else in my life.
(These poems are so damn diabolic!)

As I lie awake nights, I confesses
I am not counting sheep, only stresses.
Is that line “da da DUM?”
Will the rhyme to me come?
All my lims seem meandering messes.

Is there help somewhere, ’fore I just drop?
I feel like my brain’s gonna pop.
So I must get away,
At least for one day.
(What the heck. Just one more. Then I’ll stop!)

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Paul Haebig, Doug Harris, Jean McEwen, Fred Bortz, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Brian Allgar, Tim James, Sharon Neeman, and Tony Holmes. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“SPELL or DISPEL OR MISSPELL” RHYME DIVISION)

Paul Haebig:

I call, um, the powers of hell…
I can never remember this spell!
To mix up the potion,
Which way is the motion?
And how many tolls of the bell?

Doug Harris:

Old Merlin ain’t feeling too well:
“This brewing of leeches is hell.
Dismembering toads
Is disturbing me loads.
I think I’ll lie down for a spell …”

Jean McEwen:

One word I routinely misspell
Is the proper noun “Madduhmoyzell.”
Native French speakers hiss
At my substitute (“Miss”)–
But it covers my deficit well.

Fred Bortz:

In wizard school I have done well.
I’m super at casting a spell.
Though she barks like a dog,
And he croaks like a frog,
My Bubbie and Zadie still kvell.

Lisi Nortman:

Some foreigners try hard to spell.
Yet with plurals they’ll never excel.
If “mouses” are mice,
But “houses” ain’t “hice,”
What’s the diff’rence, and how can they tell?

Sjaan VandenBroeder:

They’re too much for mere mortals to handle —
Ceaseless lies and continuous scandal.
So for Joe to dispel
All these demons from Hell,
He’ll be needing a bell, book and candle.

Brian Allgar:

my teechers complaned I cant spell
punktuashun is louzy as well
still evrywun sez
i desserve to be prez
but joe byden has cheeted like hell

Tim James:

Said the raconteur: “Come, set a spell.
Here’s a story I’ve wanted to tell:
This young gal — such a dream! —
Slipped and fell in a stream.
So I spent the day wringing that belle.”

Sjaan VandenBroeder:

I remember my skool days so well,
When lunch was anounced by a bell.
We’d sit in a grupe
Sharing alphabet supe.
And that’s where I lerned how to spel.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (CONFESSION LIMERICK DIVISION)

Lisi Nortman:

O Father, my life’s not fulfilling.
I obsess about things that are chilling.
I confess that I drink;
I can’t stop, cuz I think
That I just may replace it with killing.

Jean McEwen:

Priests must sublimate all their aggressions
And give up almost all their possessions.
But their job has one perk:
In the booth, they can jerk
Off discreetly to kinky confessions.

Sharon Neeman:

Someone here’s made an absolute mess!
Ate my sandwich, threw up on my dress,
Tracked in mud on my bed…
T.S. Eliot said,
“The cat knows, but will never confess.”

Lisi Nortman Ardissone:

Confession has sacred appeal.
You avow what you’ve tried to conceal.
It cleanses the soul.
Once again, you feel whole.
Then continue to lie, cheat and steal.

Brian Allgar:

The Bishop said: “Hear my confession …”
The priest wore a puzzled expression.
“But why come to me?”
Said the Bish, “Well, you see,
It was YOUR wife who caused my transgression.”

Tony Holmes:

Seems confession is good for the soul.
I, for one, have gained much on the whole.
I confessed what I’d seen
To my dad and Darleen,
And they added some cash to my roll.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SPELL or DISPEL OR MISSPELL at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 21, 2020)

Saturday, November 7th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SPELL or DISPEL OR MISSPELL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CONFESSIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CONFESSION-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 22, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 21, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SPELL or DISPEL OR MISSPELL-rhyme limerick:

A pickpocket, locked in a cell,
Describes it as “nitemarish hell.”
Now the skell’s penned a book;
Hopes to sell it by hook
Or by crook. But the schnook just can’t spell.

And here’s my CONFESSIONS-themed limerick:

A fellow confessed he was bi
To his wife, who replied “I won’t lie;
I’m upset.” (Her tears flowed.)
“So here’s what I’m owed:
A three-way with you and your guy.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Doze or Doughs or Does (the Deer kind) at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Nov. 7, 2020)

Saturday, October 24th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Doze or Doughs or Does (the Deer kind) at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DATING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DATING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 8, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 7, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my DOZE/DOUGHS/DOES-rhyme limerick:

When I’m trying to sleep and can’t doze,
I count does (and not sheep.) Heaven knows
That I’d rather see deer
Cuz they’re pretty. Don’t sneer;
I know someone who chose counting crows.

And here’s my DATING-themed limerick:

A young woman both lovely and chaste
Was chased by a fellow whose taste
Runs to innocent lasses
Who never wear glasses.
She’s insightful … so he’s unembraced.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SUIT/PURSUIT at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 24, 2020 )

Saturday, October 10th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SUIT/PURSUIT at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to NEIGHBORS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best NEIGHBOR-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on October 25, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 24, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SUIT/PURSUIT-rhyme limerick:

I’m fazed by my ex’s new phase:
He’ll stare at a puzzle for days.
It’s a puzzling pursuit
For a scatter-brained brute…
Though he DOES do it sprawled on a chaise.

And here’s my two-verse NEIGHBORS-themed limerick:

I was playing a Beethoven piece,
When a neighbor upstairs called the p’lice.
“She’s too loud. I can’t sleep,”
She complained. “I could weep.
She is breaching the peace. Make her cease!”

“It’s an odd time to sleep,” said the cop.
“You can hardly expect her to stop
Playing piano so soon.
It is mid-afternoon…
And be grateful she ain’t playing pop.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BAND or BANNED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 10, 2020)

Saturday, September 26th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BAND or BANNED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write GAME-themed limericks, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GAME-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on October 11, 2020 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 10, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my BAND/BANNED-rhyme limerick:

A Girl band, post-bombing, was banned.
Soon thereafter, its leader was canned.
A replacement was hired,
But swiftly was fired.
It’s disbanded now; silent — unmanned.

And here’s my GAME-themed limerick:

I encountered some ads for an “adze.”
Then I Googled the word and … Egads!
Seems it’s much like an ax.
(No I don’t mean a sax.)
And just how many Scrabble points? Scads!

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SEAT or DECEIT or RECEIPT OR CONCEIT at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Sept. 26, 2020)

Saturday, September 12th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SEAT or DECEIT or RECEIPT or CONCEIT at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ADVICE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ADVICE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on Sept. 27, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, Sept. 26, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SEAT/DECEIT/RECEIPT/CONCEIT-rhyme limerick:

“My husband in court must be beat.
Cuz I’m sickened by all his deceit.
He lies just for sport
And in bed he falls short…
So he needs to go down in defeat.”

And here’s my ADVICE-themed limerick:

“Loosen up. Time to let down your hair.”
“Take a risk, but don’t act on a dare.”
“Grow a pair. Roll the dice.”
Uninvited advice
Makes me wig out and bristle. Beware!

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WINE or WHINE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 12, 2020)

Saturday, August 29th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WINE or WHINE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DRIVING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DRIVING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on September 13, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 12, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my WINE/WHINE-rhyme limerick:

A fellow would often combine
Hard liquor, champagne and red wine,
But he rarely got kicks
From his regular fix…
Though he DID get a box made of pine.

And here’s my DRIVING-themed limerick:

A woman would often lambast
Her husband for driving too fast.
He responded “I drive
Really quick cuz I strive
For an end to the time I’m harassed.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SIGHT or SITE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: August 29, 2020)

Saturday, August 15th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SIGHT or SITE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CHILDREN, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CHILDREN-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on August 30, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 29, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SIGHT/SITE-rhyme limerick:

Though I hate to appear impolite,
Or petty and quick to indict,
Trump’s a blight on our nation;
A Trump relocation
To prison would be a fine sight.

And here’s my CHILDREN-themed limerick:

We adopted a pet at the pound;
An adorable, cuddly young hound.
The children both love her,
But run off for cover
When doggie-doo mishaps are found.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DOPE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: August 15, 2020)

Saturday, August 1st, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DOPE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LOVE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LOVE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on August 16, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 15, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my DOPE-rhyme limerick:

Wear a mask, please, and don’t be a dope.
Yes, it may be annoying, but cope.
Start now, and don’t wait;
You already are late…
And it also won’t hurt to use soap.

And here’s my LOVE-themed limerick:

“I’m in love,” said a gal to her mom.
“My boyfriend is great. He’s the bomb!”
But her mother replied:
“No, he’s conned you and lied;
He’s been featured in Sleazoids.com!”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!