Archive for the ‘Mothers & Fathers Humor’ Category
Saturday, August 19th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOARD or BORED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PITCH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PITCH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SINK, REFUSE, DAWN, ALARMING, CROWD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 17, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 16, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BOARD or BORED-Rhyme Limerick:
When a man reached an online accord
To buy wood, he was certain he’d scored.
But, alas, he had not;
He’d been duped by a bot
That sent rot and was NOT above board.
And here’s my PITCH-Themed Limerick:
Her singing was heartfelt and loud.
(With great volume that gal’s well-endowed.)
But her pitch was so sad,
The conductor (her dad)
Told his fans “It’s my bad,” as he bowed.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
It’s pre-dawn. I’m in front of the sink,
Washing up, while attempting to think
Of a rhyme. But my muse
Yawned and said, “I refuse.
Don’t abuse me. I’m NOT in the pink!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Business Humor, Competition Limerick, Creativity Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Intonation Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Muse Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Verse, Online Shopping, Pitch Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Singing Humor, Writing Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Business Humor, Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Writing & Publishing Humor | 129 Comments »
Sunday, August 13th, 2023
When a clever, inquisitive lad
Would pester and pepper his dad
With questions galore,
His dad would implore:
“Ask your mom. She knows more. She’s a grad!”
Tags: Children Humor, Children Limerick, Education & School Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parental Humor, Parental Limerick, Parenting, Parenting Humor, Parents
Posted in Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor | No Comments »
Thursday, April 7th, 2022
A young gal grabbed her daughter to scold ’er:
“You should know better, now that you’re older.
Throwing snack food is rude,
Also wasteful and crude,”
Said the mom with a chip on her shoulder.
Tags: Badly Behaved Children, Child Humor, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Parenting Humor, Parenting Limerick, Snack Food Humor
Posted in Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor | Comments Off on Snack Food Grievance (Limerick)
Saturday, August 1st, 2020
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DOPE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LOVE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LOVE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 16, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 15, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DOPE-rhyme limerick:
Wear a mask, please, and don’t be a dope.
Yes, it may be annoying, but cope.
Start now, and don’t wait;
You already are late…
And it also won’t hurt to use soap.
And here’s my LOVE-themed limerick:
“I’m in love,” said a gal to her mom.
“My boyfriend is great. He’s the bomb!”
But her mother replied:
“No, he’s conned you and lied;
He’s been featured in Sleazoids.com!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Covid-19, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Daughters Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Love Humor, Masks Humor, Mothering Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 223 Comments »
Saturday, August 27th, 2016
Parents dish out some phrases with glee:
“Just because!” “Cuz I said so!” “We’ll see!”
“Till you pay your own way,
You must do what I say!”
“Do you think money grows on a tree?”
Happy “Just Because Day!” (Aug. 27)
Tags: Child Humor, Children, Just Because Day, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Parents
Posted in Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor | Comments Off on Pat Parental Retorts (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
When I was a child, I hated the words “just because,” a favorite parental “explanation.” And yet there’s a “Just Because Day,” celebrated on August 27th by people who look at those words rather differently.
I Wrote This Limerick “Just Because”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The parental retort,”Just because,”
Is a stale and inadequate clause.
Moms might just as well say
“It’s the law, so obey!”
Or, hemmed in, just try hemming and haws.
Tags: Child Humor, Children, Just Because Day, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Parents
Posted in Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays | 10 Comments »
Wednesday, May 8th, 2013
Motherly Angst (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A mom at the end of her rope
Said “It’s hopeless! I simply can’t cope.
Both the food and the band
Appear to be canned.
The rest of my kids must elope!”
Happy Mother’s Day!
Tags: Food Humor, Marriage Limerick, May Holidays, Mother's Day, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Parenting Humor, Wedding Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor | 21 Comments »
Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
This feels vaguely appropriate for Mother’s Day:
Freelance Mothering (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Be it newspapers, Web, magazines,
Mistakes are in print and on screens:
Though I’ve NO kids to nag,
I once learned in a mag:
I’m the very proud mother of teens.
True story: Many years ago I wrote several freelance humor columns for Family Circle Magazine, one of which was a “humorous contract” between parents and their teen about learning to drive.
I’ll never forget standing on a long line at the supermarket and spotting the issue I was scheduled to appear in, near the cash register. I grabbed the magazine, turned to the back page and excitedly started to read.
Everything look great … until I got to the bio note, which should have read: “Madeleine Begun Kane is a New York-based freelance humor columnist and lawyer.”
Instead, it read, “Madeleine Begun Kane is the mother of teens.”
And no, I do NOT have any children … unless, of course, you count my hubby Mark.
Tags: Children Humor, Freelance Writing, Media Limerick, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Print Magazines, Teens, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Car & Driving Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Media Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Freelance Mothering
Wednesday, February 6th, 2013
Yesterday, when I posted this anecdote about my mother-in-law on Facebook, several friends urged me to turn it into a limerick. And so, I’ve done just that. (My limerick is right below the anecdote.)
True story: Sunday night, Mark kept anxiously re-dialing his elderly mother. When she finally answered, her voice sounded very upset as she said, “A terrible thing happened.” Then she paused, as Mark’s heart skipped several beats.
His mother’s next words were: “They stopped making my salmon.”
(She was referring to her favorite canned salmon, which actually is still available, but was out of stock in the two stores she’d been to.)
And now, the limerick:
A Fishy Tale (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Something awful has happened,” she cried,
And then paused. We thought someone had died.
That’s Mark’s mom at her best:
Her horror expressed
About salmon no longer supplied.
Tags: Behavior Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Fish Humor, Food Verse, Mother-in-Law Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Mothers & Sons Humor, Parental Humor, Phone Humor, Relationship Humor, Salmon, Shirley Kane, Shopping Humor, Telephone Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor, Shopping Humor | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, July 24th, 2012
Poets United has a fun vice-versa challenge this week: Use all four of these words in any type of poem: Allow, Deny, Harsh, & Gentle. Here’s what I came up with:
Mental Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who denied being “mental,”
Was at times rather harsh, sometimes gentle.
He had one sacred cow:
He would never allow
A critique of his units parental.
Tags: Behavior Humor, Mental Health, Parents, Poets United, Relationship, Vice-Versa
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, July 10th, 2012
Taking your baby son with you when visiting a hooker is probably unwise:
A man in Tuscaloosa may be charged with child endangerment after taking along his nine month old son during a meeting with a prostitute.
Once inside the motel room, another man entered and a fight broke out. Shots were fired while the baby was in the room, and a bullet grazed the father’s head.
Gunning For Father Of The Year?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear dads, if your kid’s under one,
And you’re looking for prostitute fun,
A sitter’s a must;
Else forget about lust,
Or be labeled a son of a gun.
Tags: Babies Humor, Bawdy Humor, Children Limerick, Crime, Dads Limerick, Family & Relatives Humor, Law Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Prostitutes Humor, Sex Humor
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor, Social Satire | 3 Comments »
Friday, June 15th, 2012
The Astute Dad (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A dad who was very astute
Always yearned for good Father’s Day loot,
But for decades got ties
That were hard on the eyes.
He exchanged forty ties for a suit.
(Linked at Poetry Jam, which asks us to celebrate.)
Tags: Clothes Shopping, Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Father's Day Humor, Gift Humor, Holiday Gifts, June Holidays, Men's Clothes Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Shopping Humor
Posted in Fashion Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor | 10 Comments »
Saturday, June 18th, 2011
Father’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Do not argue with me,” said the dad
To his son, who was making him mad.
“You are too disputatious,
Your point is fallacious,
And…” “Huh?” said the four-year-old lad.
Tags: Argument Verse, Dads Limerick, Family & Relatives Humor, Father's Day Humor, June Holidays, Parenthood Humor, Parenting Humor
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, General, Holiday Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor | 5 Comments »
Sunday, October 31st, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A frazzled new father named Jim…
Here’s mine:
Frazzled Limerick (Frazzled Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A frazzled new father named Jim
Bought his baby toy trains on a whim.
When his wife saw the gift,
She was terribly miffed,
So she yelled, “That’s for you. What’s for him?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Update: May 2 is Baby Day.
Tags: Baby Day, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, May Holidays, Model Trains Humor, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Thursday, May 6th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A hard-working mother named May…
Here’s mine:
Just In Time For Mother’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A hard-working mother named May
Had three children and twins on the way.
When her spouse heard the news,
He guzzled some booze
And grumbled, “I should have been gay.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Related Post: Mother’s Day Limericks
Tags: Children Humor, Holiday Verse, Marriage Limerick, May Holidays, Moms Humor, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Day, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Pregnancy Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 18 Comments »
Sunday, April 25th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A wealthy old woman named Kate…
Here’s mine:
A Dog Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Left her dog an enormous estate.
Her children all stewed
Till they finally sued.
Who won? Well, each lawyer did great.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Children Humor, Dog Verse, Estate Limerick, Inheritance Humor, Lawyers, Litigation Humor, Money Poems, Parental Humor, Pet Owners, Poetry & Prompts, Wealth, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 26 Comments »
Thursday, February 11th, 2010
I’m so sick of this snowy New York winter. And of all the fretful phone calls from my mother-in-law, warning hubby Mark about snow shoveling and heart attacks. Funny, she isn’t at all concerned about my heart.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Send Us Spring, STAT!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m achy from head down to toe.
The cause? I’ve been shoveling snow.
I wanted to punt,
But instead, did our front,
While my spouse did the rest — quid pro quo.
********
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the one up side of February which is coming up very soon: Valentines Day. And so happy Valentines day, especially to you fellows who may find this Valentines Day column helpful. Gals, you can thank me later.
Tags: Health Risks, Heart Attack Poetry, Mother-in-Law Humor, New York Weather, Seasonal Verse, Shoveling Snow, Snow Poetry, Snow Storm Poem, Snow Verse, Weather Poem, Winter Limerick
Posted in Chores Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Relationship Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 6 Comments »
Monday, January 5th, 2009
Thanks to all of you for your kind emails, comments, and Twitter tweets about my mother’s death. I really appreciate it!
In my mother’s honor, I’m posting a 1996 humor column she inspired during happier (and funnier) times:
Secret Shopper
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I’m not going in there. No way. Forget it.”
My seventy-something mother’s stance was as rigid as her words; arms folded across her chest, unyielding legs pointed away from the shop I’d just suggested.
She and I had spent the entire afternoon combing through three department stores for the definitive pair of panties. Or at least my mom’s idea of same. This illusive undergarment had to be loose, comfortable, 100% cotton, and totally devoid of lace. And that was just for starters. It also had to completely cover my mother’s hips and come in a large size, the exact number of which she resolutely refused to disclose. … (Secret Shopper is continued here.)
Tags: Clothes Shopping, Clothing, Department Stores, Fashion, Mothers, Parents, Style, Undergarments, Victoria's Secret
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Personal, Relationship Humor, Shopping Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, December 17th, 2008
“Dear Son” Letters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whenever my husband gets mail
From his mom, this is true without fail:
It concerns medications
And health aberrations.
Just reading her notes makes me pale.
Tags: Drugs, Health Limericks, Letters, Medications, Meds, Moms, Mothers, Sons
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Communication Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
A new limerick, haiku, and senryu prompt (at long last) whose theme is jewelry, crafts, and engagements. First, my limerick:
Engagement Bling
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I’m engaged,” said the gal to her mom.
“I’m in love and I’m marrying Tom.”
“But I don’t see a ring,”
Said her mom. “Get some bling.
Until then, I intend to stay calm.”
And now my haiku (senryu):
Craft show earrings
Once adorned the riverfront
And now grace my lobes.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about jewelry, crafts, or engagements. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until September 5th to post it.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your jewelry, crafts, and engagement-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
UPDATE 2: National Jewel Day is March 13th.
Tags: Crafts Fair, Earrings Haiku, Engagement Ring, Fashion Verse, Haiku Prompts, Jewel Day, Jewelry Humor, Love Humor, March Holidays, Mom Limerick, National Jewel Day, Odd Holidays, Writing Prompts
Posted in Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Fashion Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Romance Humor | 2 Comments »
