Archive for the ‘Music Humor & Verse’ Category
Wednesday, November 15th, 2023
What’s my excuse for posting this limerick? It’s November 15th, National Drumming Day.
A drummer had hoped to ensnare
An au pair in a sordid affair:
“Your breasts are so sweet.
May I fondle each teat?”
“You’ve some pair,” she said. “Beat it! No! Ne’er!”
Tags: Au Pair Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Childcare, Drumming Day, Drums Humor, Drums Limerick, National Drumming Day, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sex Humor, Sex Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Children Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holdays | 2 Comments »
Friday, September 29th, 2023
A musician enjoying a fling
With a gal, almost bought her a ring.
What changed the man’s mind?
He was saddened to find
She mistakenly thinks she can sing.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Music Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Singing Humor, Singing Limerick, Vocal Humor, Voice Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, September 20th, 2023
A nasty conductor named Flynn
Yelled, “What in the hell was that din?”
“Not my fault,” said a drummer.
“That gong is a bummer!”
“I’ve warned you,” said Flynn. “Don’t chime in!”
Tags: Conductor Humor, Conductor Limerick, Drum Humor, Drummer Humor, Drums Humor, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Music Humor, Music Limerick, Musical Instruments, Noise Humor, Noise Limerick, Percussion Humor, Percussion Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Noise Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, August 19th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOARD or BORED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PITCH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PITCH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SINK, REFUSE, DAWN, ALARMING, CROWD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 17, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 16, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BOARD or BORED-Rhyme Limerick:
When a man reached an online accord
To buy wood, he was certain he’d scored.
But, alas, he had not;
He’d been duped by a bot
That sent rot and was NOT above board.
And here’s my PITCH-Themed Limerick:
Her singing was heartfelt and loud.
(With great volume that gal’s well-endowed.)
But her pitch was so sad,
The conductor (her dad)
Told his fans “It’s my bad,” as he bowed.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
It’s pre-dawn. I’m in front of the sink,
Washing up, while attempting to think
Of a rhyme. But my muse
Yawned and said, “I refuse.
Don’t abuse me. I’m NOT in the pink!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Business Humor, Competition Limerick, Creativity Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Intonation Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Muse Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Verse, Online Shopping, Pitch Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Singing Humor, Writing Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Business Humor, Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Writing & Publishing Humor | 129 Comments »
Wednesday, July 12th, 2023
“My career choice was NOT the astutest;
There are very few jobs for a flutist.
How I wish that I heeded
My parents, who pleaded:
‘Don’t toot on that flute. Be a lutist!'”
Tags: Advice, Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Career Humor, Career Limerick, Flute, Flute Humor, Music Humor, Music Limerick, Musician Humor, Musician Limerick, Parents
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Parenting Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Musical Lament (Limerick)
Monday, May 22nd, 2023
I’ve been a fan of Keith Olbermann for as long as I can remember. And Mark and I have been enjoying his new podcast version of Countdown, ever since he launched it last August on iHeartMedia — Beethoven theme music and all.
But speaking of Beethoven, I have just one quibble: Although Keith has an outstanding speaking voice, his singing voice leaves a lot to be desired. So I’ve written this limerick in hopes of persuading Keith to cease singing Beethoven’s “Ode To Joy” whenever he’s overcome by schadenfreude … or at any other time, for that matter.
(Here’s a link to one of his “Ode To Joy” renditions, just in case you’re in a masochistic mood. It starts at minute fifteen of that podcast episode.)
Dear Keith, you’re a podcasting king.
I relish your wit and your zing.
And when you deploy
Your rants, I feel joy.
But PLEASE stop attempting to sing!
Tags: Beethoven Humor, Keith Olbermann, Music Humor, Music Limerick, Ode To Joy, Podcast Humor, Singing Humor, Voice Humor
Posted in Limericks, Media Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Music Reviews | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Keith Olbermann
Saturday, January 28th, 2023
I am NOT a big fan of kazoos.
The mere sound of one makes me think “Booze!”
What loser invented
That plaything demented?
Buzz off, cuz I’m getting the blues!
(Happy “National Kazoo Day,” if you insist.)
Tags: Kazoo Humor, Kazoo Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Noise Humor, Noise Limerick, Nuisances
Posted in Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Noise Humor, Odd Holidays | 2 Comments »
Saturday, January 7th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RUDE, RUED or ROOD at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DESTRUCTION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DESTRUCTION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: STRIDE, HANDY, PUNISH, FLY, BAIL.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 5, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 4, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my RUDE, RUED or ROOD-Rhyme Limerick:
I am stunned by the way you behave.
It appears you were raised in a cave.
You’ve a terrible tude
And you’re crude, lewd, and rude.
So there’s only one word for you: KNAVE!
And here’s my DESTRUCTION-Themed Limerick:
Here’s a factoid not everyone knows:
Perfectionist Brahms alas chose
To destroy some great stuff
He thought NOT up to snuff.
How I wish that he di’n’t decompose!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
I tried to play “stride,” but I failed.
My small hands lacked the reach, so I bailed.
But I still remain sold
On stride pianists of old,
Whose fingers would fly, as they wailed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brahms Humor, Brahms Limerick, Competition Limerick, Composer Humor, Composer Limerick, Composers, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Music, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Pianist Humor, Pianist Limerick, Piano Humor, Piano Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Rudeness Humor, Rudeness Limerick, Stride Pianist, Stride Piano, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 173 Comments »
Tuesday, December 13th, 2022
A fellow who plays violin
Bears his neck pain with grace and a grin:
“Yes the problem is big,
But it comes with the gig;
I must take all my aches on the chin.”
(December 13th is National Violin Day.)
Tags: December Holidays, Music, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Instruments, Musical Instruments Humor, Musical Verse, Musician Humor, National Violin Day, Odd Holidays, Violin Day, Violin Humor, Violin Limerick, Violin Verse
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on The Violinist’s Plight (Limerick)
Monday, November 7th, 2022
When I priced grand pianos today,
I heard quotes, grandiose, with dismay.
They cost too many grand,
And my right and left hand
Lack the cash to buy keyboard cachet.
*****
Happy World Pianist Day! (November 8)
Tags: Grand Piano, Money Humor, Money Limerick, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Pianist Day, Pianist Humor, Pianist Limerick, Piano Humor, Piano Limerick, Shopping Humor, Shopping Limerick, World Pianist Day
Posted in Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on Grand Shopping Plans (Limerick)
Sunday, November 6th, 2022
A limerick in honor of National Saxophone Day:
A fellow was feeling distressed;
He was restless and NOT at his best.
So he pulled out his axe
And at midnight played sax.
As house-guests go, THAT guy’s a pest!
Tags: Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sax Humor, Sax Limerick, Saxophone Humor, Saxophone Limerick
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, House & Home Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Noise Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Sax Day Blues
Monday, October 10th, 2022
Most orchestra members would groan
At the principal trumpeter’s tone.
But his job was secure,
Cuz his lips held allure
For the maestro, a horny old crone.
*****
National Trumpet Day falls on October 10.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Brass Players, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Instrument, Musician Humor, Musician Limerick, National Trumpet Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Trumpet Day, Trumpet Humor, Trumpet Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Yet Another Brassy Limerick
Monday, September 19th, 2022
A British guitarist named Stan
Was playing a concert in Cannes,
When an audience member
Threw rocks and an ember…
And that’s when the Brit hit the fan.
Tags: Audience Humor, Audience Limerick, Guitar Humor, Guitar Limericks, Guitars, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limericks, Violence Humor, Violence Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Wordplay | Comments Off on The Concert Kerfuffle (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 14th, 2022
My self-challenge for today was writing a limerick using the new-to-me word “fugleman.”
An assertive, decisive, and frugal man
Was also an excellent bugle man.
He would make extra dough
Playing band gigs and so
In parades, he was always the fugleman.
Tags: Band Humor, Band Limerick, Bugle Humor, Bugle Limerick, Frugality, Fugleman, Marching Humor, Marching Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Parade Humor, Parade Limericks
Posted in Language Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2022
When students are told to play scales,
You’re likely to hear lots of wails;
Scales are boring as hell,
But to ever play well
They’re a must! (Also trim your damn nails!)
Tags: Music Education, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Piano Humor, Piano Limerick, Scales Humor, Scales Limerick
Posted in Education & School Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | Comments Off on Practice, Practice, Practice! (Limerick)
Saturday, July 2nd, 2022
A would-be musician was lax
About practicing scales on his sax.
Yet he landed a seat
In a band — no mean feat,
But then blew it and soon got the axe.
Tags: Band Humor, Band Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Sax Humor, Sax Limerick
Posted in Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | Comments Off on The Not-So-Sharp Musician (Limerick)
Friday, July 1st, 2022
A minor composer named Bea
Only wrote in A Minor. “You see,
Its sound is the best,”
She’d respond when a pest
Asked her why. “It’s my signature key!”
Tags: Composer Humor, Composer Limerick, Composition Humor, Composition Limerick, Creativity Humor, Creativity Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick
Posted in Creativity Verse, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, March 29th, 2022
A woman with awesome technique
(On the piano I mean, you damn freak)
Would caress all the keys
With both power and ease,
Till she brought ev’ry piece to its peak.
(World Piano Day is celebrated on the 88th day of each year.)
Tags: March Holidays, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Odd Holidays, Piano Day, Piano Humor, Piano Limerick, World Piano Day
Posted in Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on A Tale Of Technique (Limerick)
Monday, March 28th, 2022
A crazy conductor named Dick
Had a fondness for “food on a stick.”
The guy was far gone;
Used his skewer-baton
To throw food at the winds with a flick.
*****
Happy “Something On A Stick Day.” (March 28)
Tags: Baton Humor, Baton Limerick, Conductor Limerick, Conductors Humor, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Food On A Stick, Food On A Stick Day, March Holidays, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musicians Humor, Odd Holidays, Orchestra Musicians, Skewer Humor, Something On A Stick Day, Woodwinds Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, February 8th, 2022
“The soprano attempted a note
That is out of her range,” went the quote
From the Op’ra Review.
“It was shrill, like a shrew.” —
A critique that still sticks in her throat.
(Opera Day is celebrated on two different days: February 8 and October 25.)
Tags: February Holidays, Music Humor & Verse, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Opera Companies, Opera Day, Opera Humor, Reviews Humor, Reviews Limerick, Singing Humor, Vocalists
Posted in Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Unnoteworthy Limerick