Archive for the ‘Language Humor’ Category

Pardon My French! (Limerick)

Monday, March 20th, 2023

I used to speak French fairly well,
But my accent is no longer belle,
And my “je ne sais quoi”
Is reduced to a blah.
(That damn phrase is a struggle to spell!)

(Happy UN French Language Day! — March 20)

Puzzling Limerick

Sunday, January 29th, 2023

It’s “National Puzzle Day,” which gives me a good excuse to post this limerick:

I never play Wordle in “hard mode.”
It feels like a feathered and tarred mode.
I would rather control
All my moves, on the whole.
It’s too bad they don’t offer a “bard mode.”

More Life With Mark And Madeleine

Tuesday, January 10th, 2023

Madeleine: Nice job on yesterday’s Bee! You got some great words I missed.

Mark: But that makes no sense! I learned them from you.

Madeleine: I didn’t teach you those words. I transferred them.

Happy “Word Nerd Day!” (Limerick)

Monday, January 9th, 2023

It’s “National Word Nerd Day.” Yay!
I’m a “word nerd.” It’s true. Ev’ry day
I try to learn new words,
Recalling but few words;
In my brain they’re reluctant to stay.

More “NYT Spelling Bee” Blues (Limerick)

Monday, October 24th, 2022

Dear Bee, though I hate to complain,
Your word list is clearly insane.
How dare you exclude
“Trayf” and “ranty!” That’s rude!
And no “tarty?” You’re taunting my brain!

“NYT Spelling Bee” Blues (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 19th, 2022

I’ve been bilked once again by the Bee.
It rejects kosher entries with glee.
My claim’s not debatable:
Spurning “deflatable”
Violates fairness! (Says Me!)

It’s “National Dictionary Day!” (Limerick)

Sunday, October 16th, 2022

It’s “National Dictionary Day,” which gives me a good excuse to post a limerick about another new-to-me term: “Dawn Chorus.”

(For the record, all the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)

“Let’s go back to that lovely ‘Fowl Inn,’”
Said my spouse, quite forgetting its din.
’Twas no use telling Boris
(A bull-headed Taurus)
That its dawn chorus drove us to gin.


Happy birthday to American lexicographer Noah Webster, of dictionary compilation fame. He was born October 16, 1758.

Mnemonic Nightmare (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 11th, 2022

“Nemonic” is tricky to spell,
And my efforts to spell it: Pell-mell!
Since my problem is chronic.
I’ve tried a “kneemonic,”
Which hurls me to memory hell.

Buttering Up A Farmer (Limerick)

Sunday, October 2nd, 2022

“After seeing your farm, I’m agog
At its beautiful pigpen. My dog
Doesn’t live half as well!
The big barn where pigs dwell
Is superb! They live high on the hog.”


Happy World Farm Animals Day! (October 2)

Yet Another “Punctuation Day” Limerick

Saturday, September 24th, 2022

How to punctuate: That is the query.
Ill-timed marks can be irksome and dreary.
Bangs, ellipses, and dashes
Add drama in flashes.
Overuse is abusive!!! — Be leery!!!!!

(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)

Trumpeting Leadership (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 14th, 2022

My self-challenge for today was writing a limerick using the new-to-me word “fugleman.”

An assertive, decisive, and frugal man
Was also an excellent bugle man.
He would make extra dough
Playing band gigs and so
In parades, he was always the fugleman.

Florid Failure (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 7th, 2022

I use new-to-me words in my verse;
Vain attempts to cajole and coerce
My old brain into learning
Their meaning. But spurning
Those efforts, my mind makes me curse.

So I’m forced to confess with veracity
That I wish I had greater capacity
To remember cool words,
But my brain’s for the birds,
Which explains all my failed orchidacity.

Today’s Rhyming Challenge (Limerick)

Monday, September 5th, 2022

Sometimes I challenge myself by using a hard-to-rhyme word in a limerick. In today’s case, it’s “latrinalia,” which means stuff written or drawn on bathroom walls.

Now before you say, “Lots of things rhyme with latrinalia, according to Rhymezone,” let me add that Rhymezone is WRONG!

Since the Final Stressed Syllable of latrinalia is NAL, true rhyme words must end in “alia” preceded by a Different Consonant, such as AuSTRalia, or mamMalia, or reGalia, or the two words I use in this limerick:

If you happen to read latrinalia,
You won’t find any sesquipedalia,
You’ll see swear words and gripes
Writ by marginal types,
But no poems inspired by Thalia.

Sound Revenge (Limerick)

Saturday, September 3rd, 2022

How can I resist using “bombilation” in a limerick?

Bombilation is driving me nuts,
And it comes from a home that abuts
My backyard. I complain,
But I’m met with disdain.
My revenge? A large doghouse with mutts.

Hotheaded Hugh (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 31st, 2022

Since Wordsmith’s “Word of the Day” today is “Hotheaded,” I decided to use it in a limerick:

A hotheaded fellow named Hugh
Was irked by a huge check-out queue.
To disperse the long line
He yelled “Gun!” — the damn swine.
He wears stripes now; “lines” up the wazoo!

The Confused Mom-To-Be (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 24th, 2022

A mother-to-be gave a shiver.
Her whole body was soon all-aquiver.
She sobbed: “As predicted,
My diet’s restricted.
Doc told me it’s time to de-liver.”

A Colorful Exchange (Limerick)

Sunday, August 7th, 2022

Sometimes, when I play with a new-to-me word, I get a bit silly:

“What color’s your purse?” asked a nurse.
“A deep purple?” The answer: “It’s ‘perse!’”
“Yes, I know. But what shade
Is your pocketbook’s suede?”
“I said ‘perse!’” (Plus a colorful curse.)

WordleBot Woes (3-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 21st, 2022

The WordleBot’s frequently callous
And when rating my play displays malice.
It shows frequent ill will;
Credits luck, rarely skill.
So it MUST have a miniscule phallus.

A Wordle solution in three
Brings me joy, so I’ll murmur: “Yay, me!”
Then I check with the Bot,
Who reviews what I got
And dispels any feelings of glee.

When I (rarely) solve Wordle in two,
All I get is a snide “Whoop Dee Doo!”
What’s it take for a pat
On the back from that rat?
This goes on too much longer? I’ll sue!

Do You Sanction Contronyms? (Limerick)

Monday, June 6th, 2022

Question: If someone says, “I sanction that sanction,” do you know what he means?

The word “sanction’s” an odd term to use
Cuz it’s prone to perplex and confuse.
It can mean an approval…
Or trade-list removal.
In other words: Good or bad news.

A Recipe For Trouble (Limerick)

Saturday, May 21st, 2022

An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.