Archive for the ‘Language Humor’ Category

Do You Sanction Contronyms? (Limerick)

Monday, June 6th, 2022

Question: If someone says, “I sanction that sanction,” do you know what he means?

The word “sanction’s” an odd term to use
Cuz it’s prone to perplex and confuse.
It can mean an approval…
Or trade-list removal.
In other words: Good or bad news.

A Recipe For Trouble (Limerick)

Saturday, May 21st, 2022

An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.

The “Innocent” Punster (Limerick)

Friday, May 20th, 2022

A boy was bawled out by the nuns
For his sly use of off-color puns.
But he swore “I’m not punning!”
(The fellow was cunning.)
“Besides baking, just what’s done with buns?”

Wordle Downers (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 4th, 2022

Frustration’s a puzzling norm
When in word games like Wordle you’re warm:
You need one letter more
And you’re pissed to the core;
You’ve guessed “story” and “stork,” but it’s “storm.”

Cornered (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 20th, 2022

Harold hadn’t cut corners in ages,
Despite his reduction in wages.
When told he should do it,
His answer was “Screw it!
That makes it too hard to turn pages.”

Snack Food Grievance (Limerick)

Thursday, April 7th, 2022

A young gal grabbed her daughter to scold ’er:
“You should know better, now that you’re older.
Throwing snack food is rude,
Also wasteful and crude,”
Said the mom with a chip on her shoulder.

Long-Winded Limerick

Wednesday, April 6th, 2022

A marathon runner named Ace
Loved to brag about every damn race.
His long-winded tales
Would induce plaintive wails:
“Stop meandering. Cut to the chase!”

More Idiom Idiocy (Limerick)

Monday, April 4th, 2022

To cross ev’ry “T” ain’t just fine;
It’s required — not merely benign.
But by crossing a “U,”
You have set it askew…
And in fact you are crossing the line.

Retaining Your Sense Of Humor (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022

A man did his best to disguise
His retinal issues with lies.
When at last he sought ocular
Aid, he was jocular:
“Doc, you’re a sight for sore eyes!”

(March 23 is World Optometry Day.)

More Idiom Madness (Limerick)

Monday, March 21st, 2022

This is what happens when I play with idioms:

“Your home sale is under suspension,”
Read the notice, provoking dissension.
“Human bones have been found
In your yard, underground,
And those bones are the bone of contention.”

My Latest Addiction (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022

Please help! I’m addicted to word games.
One might argue that some are absurd games.
I also play cards,
But (like linguists and bards)
Prefer verbal brain-teasers — my nerd games.

Buzzy Quatrain

Tuesday, February 8th, 2022

Here’s a quatrain for a change of pace:

Be careful when using
A popular buzzword.
You’re likely to learn it’s
A “formerly-was-word.”

Yet Another Wordle Limerick

Monday, January 31st, 2022

Though he’s brilliant, my husband can’t spell.
And his less/fewer usage? Pell-mell!
But despite his word-hurdle,
He beats me at Wordle
And kvells as I yell, “What fresh hell!”

Limerick For A Puzzling Day

Saturday, January 29th, 2022

It’s “Puzzle Day.” Which one’s your fav?
I’ll try the Times Crossword, when brave.
I’m better at Mini;
Don’t feel like a ninny.
But it’s Wordle I savor and crave!

National Puzzle Day is celebrated each year on January 29.

Blathering Limerick

Tuesday, January 18th, 2022

A talkative tailor named Chip
Dished the dirt at a spirited clip.
Some patrons with clout
Got the babbler bawled out;
He was ordered to “button his lip.”

A Colo(u)rful Complaint (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 12th, 2022

After encountering a colo(u)rful complaint about my new favorite word game “Wordle,” I felt compelled to write this limerick:

Some harbo(u)r a gripe against “Wordle,”
Cuz their labo(u)rs encounter a hurdle:
Just one “u” used in rumo(u)r?
This causes ill humo(u)r…
And apparently makes their blood curdle.

Ban This Holiday? (Limerick)

Saturday, December 4th, 2021

Of the many odd hol’days I find,
There are some that I can’t get behind:
Today’s “Cheater Day!” Why
Salute such a guy?
Oh, it’s “Cheetah” Day? Oops! Never mind!

The Shiftless Chef (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 9th, 2021

The restaurateur was irate
Cuz his chef was, as usual, late.
“You must clean up your act,
Or expect to be sacked.
It’s time you step up to the plate!”

Happy “Abet and Aid Punsters Day!” (Limerick)

Monday, November 8th, 2021

Today, November 8, is “Abet and Aid Punsters Day.” So I thought I’d celebrate with a limerick, even though it should really be called “Aid and Abet Punsters Day.”

Though punsters are often accorded
Acclaim for their skill and awarded
Applause for their verse,
Sometimes even a purse,
Grinches bitch that their wordplay is sordid.

Timeless Limerick

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2021

Bought a grandfather clock — famous brand.
(It is lauded throughout our great land.)
But the time it displays
Has been faulty for days.
That’s the last time I buy secondhand.