Archive for the ‘Internet Humor’ Category
Thursday, May 19th, 2022
Dear Website, I’m caught in a snare
By your new “how’d we do?” questionnaire.
My goal is to pay
Your invoice, but NAY:
Seems I can’t, till I grievances air.
Your survey form’s blocking the page
Where the bill payer’s meant to engage.
Since it won’t let me do
What I’m here for, I’m blue,
And your webmaster’s not very sage.
You want my opinion? Here goes:
Your website’s horrendous — it blows!
Will you NOW let me pay
Your damn invoice today?
How does anyone pay what she owes!
Your rating is dreadful! Want more?
You should show all your web techs the door.
If you don’t fix your site
So your pay-page works right,
You will soon join the ranks of the poor.
Tags: Bad Websites, Bill Paying Humor, Bill Paying Limerick, Complaint Humor, Complaint Limerick, Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Questionnaire, Survey Form Humor, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick, Webmaster Humor, Webmaster Poetry
Posted in Computer Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Technology Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, December 1st, 2021
Shop online? Have a clothes-buying spree?
It has always seemed risky to me.
But I gave it a try;
Bought some tees on the fly,
And was floored when they fit to a T.
Tags: Clothes, Clothes Humor, Clothes Limerick, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Online Shopping, Shopping Humor, Shopping Limerick, Tees Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on A Suitable Limerick
Saturday, April 17th, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PLOT at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DRONES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DRONE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 2, 2021 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 1, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my PLOT-rhyme limerick:
A woman at work on a plot
For a book that she hoped would be hot,
Read an excerpt aloud
To a writers’ group crowd.
Someone scoffed: “Is the author a bot?”
And here’s my DRONE-themed Two-Verse limerick:
“I do NOT want to own a damn drone,
No matter how easily flown.
It’s the last thing I’d buy,
And I can’t fathom why
You keep spamming me. Leave me alone!
“How I got on your list, I don’t know.
Was my email supplied by a foe?
May your sales and drones crash!
And here’s a hot flash:
Do NOT hold your breath for my dough!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bot Humor, Competition Limerick, Drone Humor, Drone Limerick, Email Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Plot Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Spam, Spam Humor, Spam Limerick, Writers Groups, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Email Humor, Internet Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Robot Humor, Spam Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 312 Comments »
Sunday, April 11th, 2021
Had a four-day-long mess at my site;
Server upgrade (gone bad) caused the blight.
The encoding set wrong
Made me long for a bong.
But it’s fin’ly been fixed, bit by byte.
Tags: Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Encoding Humor, Internet, Internet Humor, Server Humor, Server Upgrade Humor, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick
Posted in Computer Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Technology Humor | Comments Off on A Grating Upgrade (Limerick)
Monday, October 29th, 2018
Is the Net good or bad at its core?
For it’s frequently hard to adore.
But on “Internet Day”
All in all, I must say
That it DOES make us hard to ignore.
Tags: Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Internet Day, Internet Humor, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick
Posted in Computer Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Technology Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 28th, 2015
Stop getting yourselves into jams
By falling for Internet scams.
If you’re lured by a post
Or an email, you’re toast.
So say bye to your bread. They’re all shams.
Tags: Advice Limerick, Hoaxes, Internet Humor, Internet Scams, Money & Finance Humor, Scams
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Internet Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Scams & Hoaxes | 1 Comment »
Friday, June 7th, 2013
I should probably write a serious limerick on my Political Madness Blog about the four P’s: Privacy, Prism, the Patriot Act, and Power. Because it’s becoming self-evident that whoever’s President (a bad guy or a theoretically good guy) will take whatever power his predecessor had and use it, exploit it, and expand it.
But I’m not in the mood to write a serious limerick, so I offer this one instead:
Big Brotherly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was going through hoops
To avoid being spied on by snoops.
He had nothing to hide,
But could never abide
His life being turned into scoops.
Tags: Big Brother Humor, Communication Satire, Government, NSA Patriot Act, Privacy Humor, Snoops Limerick, Spying Humor
Posted in Communication Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Privacy Satire, Social Satire | 11 Comments »
Wednesday, March 14th, 2012
The Encyclopaedia Britannica is the latest victim of the Digital Age:
Encyclopaedia Britannica Inc. announced Tuesday it will stop publishing print editions of its signature product for the first time in its 244-year history. In an acknowledgment of the shifting media landscape and the increasing reliance on digital references, the company said its current encyclopedia – the 32-volume, 129-pound 2010 edition – will be unavailable once the existing stock runs out. (If you’re interested, it’s yours for $1,395 and there are only 4,000 sets left.) The digital version of the encyclopedia, however, will live on.
This news saddened me. And it also reminded me about the obsolete, hand-me-down encyclopedia I grew up with in the Fifties and Sixties:
Limerick Ode To The Encyclopedia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Britannicas, World Books and more
Were common in households of yore.
But not in my home—
Just a hand-me-down tome
With entries, I swear, like “World War.”
Tags: Books Humor, Business Poem, Computers Verse, Digital Age, Encyclopaedia Britannica, Encyclopedias Humor, Internet Humor, Library Poetry, Media Limerick, Print Media Humor, Reference Books, Technology Humor, Web Humor
Posted in Books, Business Humor, Computer Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Technology Humor | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, December 21st, 2011
This is for everyone with holidayitis who’s playing online and posting on Facebook, while pretending to do real work at the office:
Limerick Ode To Holidayitis
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re busy pretending to work:
Reading Facebook’s the best way to shirk
All the tasks we’re assigned,
Cuz it’s more fun to find
Funny posts than to slave for a jerk.
Tags: Computer Verse, December Holidays, Facebook Humor, Holiday Humor, Holiday-itis, Internet Humor, Slacker Humor, Social Media Poetry, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Holiday Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Procrastination Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 5 Comments »
Saturday, December 17th, 2011
Each time I finally adjust to a Facebook “improvement,” Facebook mocks me by changing once again.
Have you seen Facebook’s latest profile redesign — the Facebook Timeline? It’s being rolled out this week, and it’s a doozy!
Timing Out On Facebook’s Timeline (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Facebook, stop changing, we pleaded.
Don’t “improve” things with stuff that ain’t needed.
Your Timeline’s annoying
And brainwave-destroying.
Once again, member input’s unheeded.
Tags: Computer Humor, Facebook Limerick, Facebook Profile, Facebook Timelime Humor, Social Media Poetry, Technology Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | Comments Off on Timing Out On Facebook’s Timeline (Limerick)
Thursday, July 14th, 2011
A Limerick Ode To My Husband Mark Kane
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re in Facebook at last — Hip Hooray!
Till this morning, you kept saying “Nay!”
The reason is clear
Why you’re finally here:
I’ve joined Google-Plus as of today!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Computer Humor, Facebook Limerick, Google, GooglePlus, Husbands & Wives, Internet Verse, Technology Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Google, Internet Humor, Marriage Humor, Personal, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, July 12th, 2011
Limerick Ode To Google+
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Would-be early adopters are pining.
For Google-Plus entry they’re whining.
Invitees get to brag:
“I got in, while you lag.”
A great come-on of Google’s designing.
(You can find me on GooglePlus here. And you always find my Google+ link on my right sidebar a bit below my photo.)
Tags: Computer Verse, Early adopters, Google, GooglePlus, Social Marketing, Social Media Poetry, Technology Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Google, Internet Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 8 Comments »
Thursday, April 21st, 2011
Digital Impasse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My brain is packed with secret codes
To access all my stuff,
Like bank accounts and sundry cards.
Recalling them is rough.
I pay my bills online and need
A PIN for each of those.
My website has a password too,
Protecting verse and prose.
These letters, numbers, symbols mix
In ways to stave off theft.
We’re warned to make them quite complex,
Defeating hackers deft.
We’re also cautioned, “Vary them.
Don’t make your codes the same.
A thief gets hold of only one —
You’re screwed and you’re to blame.”
So ciphers clutter up my mind.
I dare not write them down.
With paper bearing secrets dear,
A thief could go to town.
I’m forced to hide them in my brain —
A codified morass,
Despite my fear that one day soon
They’ll flee my mind en masse.
(Prompted by secrets at Poets United.)
Tags: Banking Humor, Bill Paying Poem, Brain Humor, Codes, Computer Humor, Computer Security, Cyber Crime, Hacker Humor, Memory, Online Humor, Passwords Humor, Privacy Humor, Secrets, Technology Verse, Theft
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Computer Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Internet Humor, Memory Humor, Privacy Satire, Technology Humor | 28 Comments »
Saturday, March 5th, 2011
I’ve just discovered a new search engine that, believe it or not, does stuff that Google can’t do. It’s the newly launched Greplin, and you can read all about its young founder Daniel Gross here.
So what’s the big deal about Greplin? It indexes and lets you search stuff that’s stored up in the “cloud.” Things like your Facebook posts, Twitter tweets, G-mail, Google Docs, LinkedIn posts, business applications I’m unfamiliar with, etc.
Let’s take its Facebook interface, for instance. Just put a key word or phrase into its search box and up pops a list of your posts (and your friends’ posts) using that word or phrase. I’m finding it so handy, I even wrote this haiku:
Forecast Not Cloudy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Greplin’s great engine
is searching what Google can’t,
and I’m on cloud nine.
Tags: Cloud Computing, Computer Software, Daniel Gross, Facebook, Gmail, Google, Greplin, Internet Humor, Linked-In, Search Engines, Technology Review, Twitter, Web Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Internet Humor, Search Engine Tools, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, March 9th, 2010
In simpler (pre-social networking) days, I suffered from just one web addiction — checking my email. And that was bad enough.
But now it’s Facebook and Twitter and blogging, oh my!
And for some people, it’s even worse. I guess I should be relieved that I don’t especially dig Digg, and that MySpace hasn’t invaded my brain space. And that (so far, at least) I’ve withstood the lure of most of the social networking and social media websites listed here in all their gory glory.
Because, as you can tell from this limerick, I don’t need any more web obsessions:
Feed Needs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m addicted to Facebook, it’s true,
And Twitter and weblogging too.
I’m desp’rately hooked.
All my hours are booked
On my quest to be fed something new.
Tags: Blogging Obsession, Email Limerick, Facebook Limerick, Social Media Poetry, Social Networking Humor, Twitter Verse, Web Addict
Posted in Addiction Humor, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Blogging Humor, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Email Humor, Facebook Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Social Satire, Technology Humor, Time Humor, Twitter Humor | 3 Comments »
Saturday, January 30th, 2010
My humorist pal Rose Valenta recently created a Kindle version of her blog and inspired me to do the same. Why? Because many employers are getting strict about web access, blocking employees from reading their favorite blogs and sites — even while they’re on a break or at lunch.
But your boss can’t control what you read on your Kindle. And Amazon makes it easy for bloggers to create Kindle blog editions, allowing fans to bypass their bosses and keep up with their reading.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Fight Firewalls With Kindle
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re at work, but on break — want to read.
But your boss did a dastardly deed:
Your fav’rites are blocked.
Your net access is locked.
But he can’t stop a Kindle blog feed.
My News: I’ve created Kindle versions of both my blogs. So if you’d like to read this general humor blog on your Kindle reader you can subscribe right here. And if you’d like to read my other political satire blog on your Kindle device, you can subscribe right here.
Attention Fellow Bloggers: If you’d like to publish your own blog on Amazon Kindle, Amazon makes it pretty easy and has a helpful Kindle Blog FAQ here. You can also find some useful info over at Mashable and some Kindle badges and icons here.
Warning: Reading blogs on Kindle isn’t free, except for the 14-day free trial for each blog. Monthly Kindle blog subscription fees are controlled by Amazon and priced at either $0.99 per month or $1.99 per month. Moreover, only 30% of the revenue goes to the blogger.
And Now For The Sales Pitch: Each of my two blogs is priced at $0.99 per month.
So if you’re a Kindle owner, I hope you’ll give the Kindle version of this humor blog and/or the Kindle version of my political satire blog a try.
Tags: Amazon Humor, Blogging Verse, Bosses, Computer Humor, Employer, Firewalls, Kindle Publishing, Kindles, Privacy Humor, Technology Advice, Web Access
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Blogging Humor, Blogging Tips, Computer Humor, Internet Humor, Kindle Humor, Limericks, Privacy Satire, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Fight Firewalls With Kindle
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
Are you suffering from Facebook friend envy? Do you have a few hundred spare bucks lying around? Then uSocial, an Australian marketing company, is eager to help you buy thousands of “targeted” Facebook friends and fans and Twitter followers.
Are you as creeped out about this as I am?
The Price Of Facebook Friendship (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Feeling lonesome? Don’t have enough friends?
You can try out this latest of trends:
Buy pals by the litter
At Facebook and Twitter.
Pay cash and your loneliness ends.
Tags: Facebook, Friendship, Money, Social Marketing, Twitter, uSocial
Posted in Facebook Humor, Friendship Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | 8 Comments »
Sunday, July 19th, 2009
It sounds like something out of George Orwell: E-book editions of 1984 and Animal Farm have been vanishing from people’s personal Kindles. I might add that these e-books have been purchased and fully paid for.
Amazon, at the request of an Orwellian publisher, has been repossessing these e-books without permission and refunding the purchase price. (More commentary here, plus my three verse limerick about this outrageous invasion of privacy, plus an update about Amazon’s welcome Kindle policy change.)
Update: If you would like to read this general humor blog on your Kindle reader you can subscribe right here.
If you would like to read my other political satire blog on your Kindle device, you can subscribe right here.
And my limerick about Kindle blogs is here.
Tags: E-Books, Kindles, Orwellian, Privacy
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Internet Humor, Kindle Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Privacy Satire, Technology Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 5 Comments »
Thursday, June 25th, 2009
My Advice To Spammers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear spammers, I wish you’d take heed.
A spell-check is something you need.
Though I’m surely no Freud,
You should really avoid
Sending “greeting” cards spelled more like “greed.”
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Computers, Email, Freud, Greeting Cards, Limericks, Spam, Spelling, Technology, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Email Humor, Internet Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | 14 Comments »
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
Aim for brilliant
In just one-forty characters.
Settle for inane.
Tags: Creativity, Microblogging, Twitter
Posted in Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Internet Humor, Mental Health Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on My Twitter Motto (Haiku)
