Archive for the ‘Idiom Humor’ Category

The Brawl (Limerick)

Thursday, January 25th, 2024

A powerful felon named Paul
Got embroiled at a bar in a brawl.
It’s still going on now.
Root against him? And how!
He is headed, I hope, for a fall.

A Maddening Phrase (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 19th, 2023

“Let’s circle back later,” they say.
That phrase tries my patience, so NAY!
It’s a roundabout ploy
To evade and annoy…
Plus I’m dizzy. The answer’s NO WAY!

Dickering Over Dining (Limerick)

Saturday, December 16th, 2023

“Let’s not eat here,” said Brad. “It’s for nerds.
And I’ve heard that the food tastes like turds.”
But Brad’s meal-mate insisted
And raved: “Can’t resist it!”
Brad ended up eating his words.

Naysayer Ray (Limerick)

Friday, December 1st, 2023

“Do I eat like a horse? Nay,” said Ray.
“So stop saying I do, right away!
I stand falsely accused
And feel bruised, yet amused,
For the truth is I never touch hay!”

Celebrate Cliché Day? No way!

Friday, November 3rd, 2023

I’m compelled to condemn the cliché.
When I hear one, I’m rubbed the wrong way,
Also irked and annoyed.
They are best to avoid
Like the plague … at the end of the day.

(Cliché Day is always observed on November 3rd.)

The Frustrated Teacher (Limerick)

Sunday, October 29th, 2023

The driving instructor Jerome
Bellowed “Look what you’ve done to the chrome!
You have bashed in the grille!
Though I’ve tried to instill
Safety skills, seems I can’t drive them home!”

The Nasty Conductor (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 20th, 2023

A nasty conductor named Flynn
Yelled, “What in the hell was that din?”
“Not my fault,” said a drummer.
“That gong is a bummer!”
“I’ve warned you,” said Flynn. “Don’t chime in!”

The Weary Weatherman (Limerick)

Sunday, September 10th, 2023

Said a weatherman, weary and old,
“I’m bored with my job, truth be told.
I’d prefer to report
On the news or some sport;
About weather I blow hot and cold.”

Going In Circles (Limerick)

Thursday, March 9th, 2023

Since I couldn’t find a prompt that tickled my muse today, I used an idiom list instead. Here’s the result:

I’m going in circles. Not fun!
It’s late and I’m irked — job’s undone.
Starting over’s upsetting;
I’m tense, anxious, fretting,
And fear that it’s back to square one.

The Concert Kerfuffle (Limerick)

Monday, September 19th, 2022

A British guitarist named Stan
Was playing a concert in Cannes,
When an audience member
Threw rocks and an ember…
And that’s when the Brit hit the fan.

Wedding Interruptus? (Limerick)

Thursday, June 9th, 2022

“My niece Mary’s a likeable lass
Who, alas, is engaged to an ass.
Though I’ve warned her, ‘Be wary,’
She’s anxious to marry.
What I need is a ‘Hail Mary pass.'”

An Apt Tag (Limerick)

Thursday, June 2nd, 2022

When I heard that a neighborhood bum
Had been nicknamed “Free Spirit” by some
Of his pals, I asked “Why
Give that tag to the guy?”
Their response? “He enjoys stealing rum.”

A Recipe For Trouble (Limerick)

Saturday, May 21st, 2022

An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.

The Incompetent Felon (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 18th, 2022

A would-be attacker named Bill
Is disguised and in black, but lacks skill:
He trips on his way
To assaulting his prey.
Though inept he’s, at least, dressed to kill.

Driven Mad (Limerick)

Friday, May 6th, 2022

Some drivers don’t signal at all
And will speed right through stop signs. What gall!
Some honk for no reason,
Treat merge-tries like treason,
And, on purpose, drive ME up the wall.

A Dickish Limerick

Wednesday, April 27th, 2022

The aptly named newlywed, Dick,
Refers to his bride as a “chick”
And never extols her.
He boasts he “controls her”
By using “both carat and stick.”

Cloaked In Bravado (Limerick)

Sunday, April 24th, 2022

He showed off his coat with a swagger:
“It’s a one-of-a-kind,” said the bragger.
Then he brandished a knife:
“I’ll use THIS on the wife!”
His behavior? Sub-par cloak-and-dagger.

NOT On The Fence (Limerick)

Thursday, April 21st, 2022

“I don’t mind that my new husband hoards
His numerous fencing awards.
But his weapon collection
Incites my objection…
And that’s where we often cross swords.”

Cornered (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 20th, 2022

Harold hadn’t cut corners in ages,
Despite his reduction in wages.
When told he should do it,
His answer was “Screw it!
That makes it too hard to turn pages.”

Snack Food Grievance (Limerick)

Thursday, April 7th, 2022

A young gal grabbed her daughter to scold ’er:
“You should know better, now that you’re older.
Throwing snack food is rude,
Also wasteful and crude,”
Said the mom with a chip on her shoulder.