Archive for the ‘Guns & Safety Humor’ Category

Gunning For Trouble? (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 28th, 2024

“At the moment we met, I was charmed.
But my mood swiftly moved to alarmed
When my date turned irate
Without cause, while she ate,
As she brandished hard proof she was armed.”

The Frustrated Teacher (Limerick)

Sunday, October 29th, 2023

The driving instructor Jerome
Bellowed “Look what you’ve done to the chrome!
You have bashed in the grille!
Though I’ve tried to instill
Safety skills, seems I can’t drive them home!”

The Charmer (Limerick)

Monday, June 5th, 2023

A woman who’s bubbly and charming,
With a manner that’s outright disarming,
Will never take guff.
She’s surprisingly tough
And her bearing, when armed, is alarming.

Hotheaded Hugh (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 31st, 2022

Since Wordsmith’s “Word of the Day” today is “Hotheaded,” I decided to use it in a limerick:

A hotheaded fellow named Hugh
Was irked by a huge check-out queue.
To disperse the long line
He yelled “Gun!” — the damn swine.
He wears stripes now; “lines” up the wazoo!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DEEDS or MISDEEDS) at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 14, 2022)

Saturday, April 30th, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DEEDS or MISDEEDS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INVENTIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INVENTION-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on May 15, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 14, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my DEEDS or MISDEEDS-rhyme limerick:

A bomber (uncaught) is aghast:
He’d been certain his freedom would last.
But some fresh cold-case leads
To his evil misdeeds
Mean a trial for a blast from the past.

And here’s my INVENTIONS-themed limerick:

When informed his design was unsound,
An inventor’s distress was profound:
“The unfairness is blatant!
Their bias is patent!
My grinder has broken new ground!”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

The Definitive Bad Date

Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

The Definitive Bad Date (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A salty young gal is enraged
When she learns that her date is engaged,
So she curses the fellow—
Spews hate with a bellow,
Then shoots. Guess her anger ain’t staged.

NOTE: This limerick was loosely inspired by the inaugural edition of Totally Optional Prompts, which is an outgrowth of the late, lamented Poetry Thursday.

(You can find more of my dating humor here.)

Bulletproof Backpacks: In Case Your Kid’s Classmate Is Packing

Monday, August 20th, 2007

It’s mid-August, which means back-to-school day is just around the corner.  And that in turn means it’s time to start shopping for school supplies: rulers and notebooks and pens and lunch boxes and calculators and computers and school clothes and … bulletproof backpacks???

“We’re just trying to give kids a defensive tool to use in case something does happen,” Curran said of the backpacks, which sell for $175 US. …

Since they started selling online last week, they’ve sold out of their initial stock of several hundred backpacks and are now ordering a new shipment from Massachusetts.

Methinks this calls for a limerick:

Bulletproof Backpacks: In Case Your Kid’s Classmate Is Packing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Selling bulletproof backpacks?  How sad!
Could the safety of schools be so bad,
That parents must buy
Such an item? Oh my!
Are they needed, or just a mad fad?

(You can find more of my school and education humor here.)