Archive for the ‘Games Humor’ Category

Please Don’t Suggest Chess! (Limerick)

Thursday, September 1st, 2022

I count “chess” among the many things I’m bad at. But to those who enjoy it, happy “American Chess Day!”

I hate losing, so playing a game
That I’m poor at feels foolish and lame,
Which is why I avoid
Playing chess. I’m annoyed
When I look like a dim-witted dame.

WordleBot Woes (3-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 21st, 2022

The WordleBot’s frequently callous
And when rating my play displays malice.
It shows frequent ill will;
Credits luck, rarely skill.
So it MUST have a miniscule phallus.

A Wordle solution in three
Brings me joy, so I’ll murmur: “Yay, me!”
Then I check with the Bot,
Who reviews what I got
And dispels any feelings of glee.

When I (rarely) solve Wordle in two,
All I get is a snide “Whoop Dee Doo!”
What’s it take for a pat
On the back from that rat?
This goes on too much longer? I’ll sue!

Chastened Chess Player (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 20th, 2022

When I learn a new word, I sometimes feel compelled to use it in a limerick:

At chess, he is far from adept;
He’s slow-moving, sloppy, inept.
Many call him a patzer;
An apt term at that, sir.
When he gave up the game, no one wept.

(Today, July 20th, is International Chess Day.)

Wordle Downers (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 4th, 2022

Frustration’s a puzzling norm
When in word games like Wordle you’re warm:
You need one letter more
And you’re pissed to the core;
You’ve guessed “story” and “stork,” but it’s “storm.”

My Latest Addiction (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022

Please help! I’m addicted to word games.
One might argue that some are absurd games.
I also play cards,
But (like linguists and bards)
Prefer verbal brain-teasers — my nerd games.

Yet Another Wordle Limerick

Monday, January 31st, 2022

Though he’s brilliant, my husband can’t spell.
And his less/fewer usage? Pell-mell!
But despite his word-hurdle,
He beats me at Wordle
And kvells as I yell, “What fresh hell!”

Limerick For A Puzzling Day

Saturday, January 29th, 2022

It’s “Puzzle Day.” Which one’s your fav?
I’ll try the Times Crossword, when brave.
I’m better at Mini;
Don’t feel like a ninny.
But it’s Wordle I savor and crave!

National Puzzle Day is celebrated each year on January 29.

A Colo(u)rful Complaint (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 12th, 2022

After encountering a colo(u)rful complaint about my new favorite word game “Wordle,” I felt compelled to write this limerick:

Some harbo(u)r a gripe against “Wordle,”
Cuz their labo(u)rs encounter a hurdle:
Just one “u” used in rumo(u)r?
This causes ill humo(u)r…
And apparently makes their blood curdle.

A Heart To Heart About Bots (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 28th, 2021

I enjoy playing Hearts against bots.
Do they win many times? Alas, lots!
But they don’t stop to snack,
And they never talk smack.
They don’t gloat or take shots or share thoughts.

(Happy Card Playing Day! It falls each year on December 28.)

A Limerick Ode To Dice

Saturday, December 4th, 2021

“Our son has a terrible vice;
He’s a gambler and not very nice.
When we tell him to stop,
He says, ‘Mother and Pop,
All my cards on the table: No dice!'”

(December 4 is “National Dice Day.”)

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GAME at the end of any one line

Saturday, November 25th, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GAME at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COWARDICE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COWARDICE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 10, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 9, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Relaxation’s your aim? Play a game!
You say Sorry’s “too tame?” Scrabble’s “lame?”
Check out Uno, chess, gin.
Try for fun; not to win.
You flame out? Don’t go blaming this dame!

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Stiffed (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

Stiffed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A collector was conned by a scam;
His “antique” poker chips were a sham.
So he decked the old dealer
And called him a “stealer,”
Which is one way to get a grand slam.

UPDATE: April 9 is Cherish An Antique Day.

Limerick Riddle

Friday, November 9th, 2012

Can you guess the last line (or last word) of this limerick? I’ve left empty spaces between lines 4 and 5, so you can guess before reaching the end. (If Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me! can do this, why can’t I?)

Limerick Riddle
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s often left after a flood.
When you throw it, I might say, “Oh, crud!”
I’m beginning to fear
That my meaning’s unclear…

     

     

     

The word that I’m slinging is “mud.”

     

(Thanks to Sunday Scribblings for the inspiration.)

Gamey Limerick

Wednesday, August 15th, 2012

This week’s challenge over at Poetry Jaam is to write something related to games. I hasten to add that the person described in my limerick is fictitious … at least I hope he’s fictitious.

Gamey Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who often played darts
Hated card games, especially hearts.
He threw like a pro,
Beating most every foe,
And distracted opponents with farts.

A Game Limerick

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

One of my favorite weekly prompts is Three Word Wednesday. This week, it asks us to use the following three words in any sort of poem: Crumble, Drawn and Uneasy. Well, I managed to squeeze them all into this limerick:

A Game Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A chess player, looking quite drawn,
Was caught in an uneasy yawn.
“My game skills have crumbled,”
The man weakly mumbled.
“I feel like I’m naught but a pawn.”

UPDATE: July 20th is International Chess Day, and the 2nd Saturday of October is National Chess Day.

Ginning Up Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, March 4th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s who won last week.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was partial to gin…*

or

A gal who was partial to gin…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Ginning Up Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was partial to gin
Played it often and tended to win.
When encouraged to switch
And play poker, he’d bitch:
“Gin is wholesome, but poker’s a sin.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Super Bowl 2012 Limerick

Saturday, February 4th, 2012

While hubby Mark and I are New Yorkers, Mark went to college in Boston — Northeastern University. So, with the New York Giants and the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, you’d think he might be conflicted. My limerick explains why he isn’t:

Super Bowl 2012 Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband is ready to gaze
At the Super Bowl game in a haze.
With junk food and beer,
For New England he’ll cheer.
We’re New Yorkers. The Giants are strays.

Yet Another 2011 Super Bowl Limerick

Saturday, February 5th, 2011

Help! I can’t stop writing Super Bowl limericks! After reading about the disastrous Dallas weather leading up to tomorrow’s Super Bowl game, I felt compelled to write this limerick. (Full disclosure: Roughly a zillion years ago I lived in Dallas, played oboe in the Dallas Symphony, and taught oboe at SMU.)

Yet Another 2011 Super Bowl Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A friend of ours living in Dallas
Likes to brag that his city’s a palace,
Taunting “Never get snow!”
Then it snowed (don’t you know)
On the game. I won’t laugh cuz it’s callous.

Not Souped Up By The Super Bowl

Saturday, February 5th, 2011

If you read my limerick about the NFL playoffs, you probably assume I won’t be watching tomorrow’s Super Bowl game in snow-challenged Dallas. And you’d be right:

Not Souped Up By The Super Bowl (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are those who find football a gas.
But when football’s on, I take a pass.
I treat baseball the same.
Just don’t like any game
That has balls. I would rather mow grass.

Ugh!

Saturday, January 8th, 2011

My pal Pat McGuire’s latest Unfinished Limerick Contest involves football, the NFL playoffs, and a disgusting-sounding drink called glug.

Since I hate football and would much rather drink tequila than glug, I wrote my own limerick, instead of finishing Pat’s:

Ugh!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You can’t tempt me with something called glug
In a glass or a cup or a mug.
Plus I hate watching sports
Played on fields or on courts.
So the playoffs? Won’t cheer — I’ll just shrug.

(I won’t be watching The New Orleans Saints play the Seattle Seahawks; or The New York Jets play the Indianapolis Colts; or The Baltimore Ravens play the Chiefs; or The Green Bay Packers play the Philadelphia Eagles. But if you’re a football fan, I hope you enjoy yourselves … and that you don’t lose any big bets.)