Archive for the ‘Education & School Humor’ Category

A Major Confrontation (Limerick)

Friday, August 5th, 2022

When a gal switched her major to art,
Her parents’ responses were tart:
“Paying bills is a bitch,
So you’d best marry rich.”
“Are you planning to clerk at the mart?”

Practice, Practice, Practice! (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2022

When students are told to play scales,
You’re likely to hear lots of wails;
Scales are boring as hell,
But to ever play well
They’re a must! (Also trim your damn nails!)

The “Innocent” Punster (Limerick)

Friday, May 20th, 2022

A boy was bawled out by the nuns
For his sly use of off-color puns.
But he swore “I’m not punning!”
(The fellow was cunning.)
“Besides baking, just what’s done with buns?”

Happy Math Day!

Monday, March 14th, 2022

Today (March 14) is “International Day Of Mathematics,” which gives me a good excuse to post this limerick:

A professor would often deride
His students as slackers who lied:
“For math you need smarts.
You’ve no brains. Try the arts.
You want me to pass you? Denied!”

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DRONES at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: March 5, 2022)

Saturday, February 19th, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRONES at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to REJECTION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best REJECTION-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 6, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 5, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my DRONES-rhyme limerick:

The anatomy prof provokes groans;
He tells anecdotes (endless) and drones.
Students stare at the clock,
Read their email, and mock
Him for tales that are never bare bones.

And here’s my REJECTION-themed limerick:

A man had a bee in his bonnet
About writing a humorous sonnet.
No one cared for his style,
So he built a flop-pile
Of rejections and plopped down upon it.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Disappointing Limerick

Tuesday, September 21st, 2021

A bee expert’s promised appointment
To be Dean di’n’t pan out — no anointment;
Some serious flaws
In his thesis, the cause…
And so that was the fly in the ointment.

Blind To The Truth (Limerick)

Monday, September 6th, 2021

This is a true, personal story. And it remains a vivid memory:

My teacher in pre-school would whine:
“Is your coloring off by design?
You must crayon within
The lines, or your kin
Will be called. I am drawing the line!”

Seems it never occurred to my teacher
That I’m naught but a near-sighted creature,
Who could NOT see those lines.
She missed all the signs.
To this day, I would love to impeach her.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: QUEST or REQUEST or BEQUEST at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: June 26, 2021)

Saturday, June 12th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using QUEST or REQUEST or BEQUEST at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TIMING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TIMING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on June 27, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 26, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my QUEST or REQUEST or BEQUEST-rhyme two-verse limerick:

A man was consumed and obsessed
With his passionate study of EST.
He threatened divorce
In order to force
His spouse to embrace the same quest.

His wife in response said, “You’re mad!
And that fad’s turned you into a cad.
It’s controlling your mind.
We’re no longer aligned.
Quit that cult, or I’ll marry your dad.”

And here’s my TIMING-themed limerick:

A pianist who hailed from Venango
Was teaching while munching a mango.
“Your timing is off,”
She said with a scoff:
“It’s a waltz in 3/8; NOT a tango!”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: NOTE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Sept. 28, 2019)

Saturday, September 7th, 2019

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NOTE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GRAMMAR, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GRAMMAR-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on September 29, 2019 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. (Due to my travel schedule you’ll have one extra week to submit your clever, polished verse.) Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 28, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my NOTE-rhyme limerick:

A man who was singing by rote
Kept hitting an out of tune note.
But nobody cared;
Instead, they just stared.
He was cute, which “earned” everyone’s vote.

And here’s my GRAMMAR-themed limerick:

A woman encountered an ad
Whose grammar was markedly bad.
So she dashed off a note
To the sponsor and wrote:
“Are you even a middle school grad?”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To The School Nurse

Wednesday, May 11th, 2016

Gals remember your trusty school nurse?
You’d tell her, “I’m sick. It’s ‘the curse.’
I have to skip gym
And lie down. All my vim
Has vamoosed and the pain’s getting worse!”

(National School Nurse Day falls on the Wednesday of National Nurse Week, which is May 6 through May 12.)

Limerick Ode To Teachers

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016

A professor, while teaching a class,
Called one of his students an ass;
Not a classy remark,
But his class (this is stark)
Loudly cheered his assessment en masse.

National Teacher Day, also known as Teacher Appreciation Day, is celebrated during the first full week of May, on a Tuesday.

Badly-Behaved Parents (Limerick)

Friday, March 25th, 2016

Today’s Crazy Headline of the Day deserves a limerick.

“Kindergarten play gets broken up by police after parents brawl over best seats.”

Most brawling takes place on the street
And in bars, but some cops on the beat
Had to break up a fight
At a school play one night:
Parents fighting to get the best seat.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SNIPE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Sunday, November 8th, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SNIPE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Give me substance! Do NOT type up tripe,
Said the law prof, who’d frequently snipe
At his class, which thus far
Set a very low bar
And seemed likely to stay true to type.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Yoga Tale (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 13th, 2015

Yoga Tale (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A student was learning a stretch
From her yoga instructor — a lech
Who made passes in classes;
He loved fetching asses.
A class action’s been filed v. that wretch.

*****
View my Yoga Tale Limerick image here.

Limerick Virtuoso

Wednesday, January 7th, 2015

Limerick Virtuoso
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A famed violin virtuoso
Said his student’s performance was “so-so.”
“You were NOT even there,”
She replied in despair.
The response from her prof: “I just know so.”

(Inspired by Merriam-Webster Word of the Day – VIRTUOSO)

View my Virtuoso Limerick image here.

Limerick Ode To Pi Day (March 14th)

Friday, March 14th, 2014

Happy Pi Day! (The last time I wrote a limerick for Pi Day, I was one day late. But this time I decided to be as precise as Pi.)

Limerick Ode To Pi Day (March 14th)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The math’matical constant called “Pi”
Is Greek to your average guy.
“Transcendental,” some call it,
But most people maul it;
Comprehension is pie in the sky.

Spellbinding Changes (Limerick)

Friday, April 12th, 2013

Computers and spell-check have been turning spelling prowess into a quaint art. So it’s no wonder that the people behind the 2013 Scripps National Spelling Bee have upped the ante, now requiring competitors to actually know what the words they’re spelling mean.

Needless to say, this is controversial. And although I think the idea’s a good one, I sympathize with the contestants. Why? Because the change is rather last minute. The contest starts this May 28th, and the change was announced just a couple of days ago, on April 9th.

It’s the very definition of I-N-I-Q-U-I-T-O-U-S.

Spellbinding Changes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

They’re making the Spelling Bee tougher–
Decidedly meaner and rougher:
It’s no longer enough
To learn spelling of stuff–
Master meanings, or rankings shall suffer.

Limerick Ode To Unemployed Lawyers

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Okay, nobody’s going to boo hoo over unemployed lawyers. In fact, some may even secretly (or not so secretly) cheer for news that getting a legal job is harder than ever. (And it wasn’t exactly easy a zillion years ago when I went to law school.)

Though the Bureau of Labor Statistics expects 73,600 new lawyer jobs to be created in the U.S. in the current decade, American law schools graduate about 44,000 new JDs each year. So averaged over the decade, there are six new lawyers for each new job.

Limerick Ode To Unemployed Lawyers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’re planning on law school, beware:
Those legal spots just aren’t there.
For each new lawyer job,
Six new lawyers named Rob
Or Roberta will vie for the chair.

Nabbed By A Typo (Limerick)

Thursday, March 8th, 2012

A teachable moment: When committing crimes, be sure to use spell-check:

Nabbed By A Typo (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man may end up in a cell
Cuz his parking permit had a tell:
There was one extra letter
In “parking.” It’s better
When forging to learn how to spell.

(This is based on an actual news story: A driver in Hoboken, New Jersey forged a parking permit on his home computer. He might have even gotten away with his scam, had he not spelled “parking” as “parkting.”)

Limerick Degree (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, February 19th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who had a degree…*

or

A woman who had a degree…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Degree
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who had a degree
In law, yes, the dreaded JD,
Found the market dried up,
So he sang for his sup
On a ship after going to sea.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!