Archive for the ‘Crime & Punishment Humor’ Category
Saturday, September 16th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FIND or FINED or DEFINED or REFINED or CONFINED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FEET, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FOOT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
FAINT, GLARE, CORRUPT, COMB, STREAM.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 15, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 14, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my FIND or FINED or DEFINED or REFINED or CONFINED-Rhyme Limerick:
Please don’t whine about being entwined
In indictments. You’ve caused your own bind.
In your quest for more wins,
You seem blind to your sins,
But you’ll soon be in prison confined.
And here’s my FOOT/FEET-Themed Limerick:
A bad snowstorm — we can’t use our wheels.
And my boots are a wreck, so the deal’s
That I’ll just have to wait
For the storm to abate.
Until then, I’ll be cooling my heels.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
While I stood on a rather long line,
I felt shaky and faint — too much wine!
Plus the sun-glare was strong,
And I DID smoke that bong.
(I was otherwise perfectly fine.)
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Crime Limerick, Fainting Humor, Footwear Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Lines Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Prison Limerick, Snow Humor, Sun Humor, Weather Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Light Verse Contest, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Weather Humor | 48 Comments »
Thursday, August 31st, 2023
There’s no evidence here! Not a shred
That the “victim” is actu’lly dead,
Let alone that her spouse
Is a murdering louse;
This poor widower LOVED being wed!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Crime Humor, Crime Limerick, Lawyer Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Murder Humor, Trial Humor, Trial Limerick
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | No Comments »
Wednesday, June 14th, 2023
I have strange next-door neighbors; they’re freaks,
Whose house is arrayed with antiques.
Its look is forbidding;
Muse’m-like — not kidding!
(I’m in jail now for “peeping tom” peeks.)
Tags: Antiques Humor, Antiques Limerick, House Decorating Humor, House Humor, Jail Humor, Jail Limerick, Neighbor Humor, Neighbor Limerick, Peeping Toms, Prison Humor, Prison Limerick
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Neighbors Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, March 4th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SCENE or SEEN or OBSCENE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WHEELS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best WHEEL-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
MEAL, FAN, WATCH, BUSINESS, SLEEP
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 2, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 1, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SCENE or SEEN or OBSCENE-Rhyme Limerick:
A young fellow, no more than nineteen,
Would steal golf carts and often be seen
Careening around
On his campus. He’d found
A trump card: His dad was the Dean.
And here’s my WHEELS-Themed Limerick:
When I ask for the wheel, you refuse me.
“Backseat driver,” you say? Don’t accuse me!
I’m in front, so your claim
Is abusive and lame.
It’s so foolish, you almost amuse me.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
Ever been to a bus’ness lunch? Yuk!
You’ve one scheduled? You’re stuck? Well, good luck!
I’m no fan of such meals,
Where you’re s’pposed to make deals,
Watch your manners, and NEVER say “Fuck!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Business Humor, Business Limerick, Competition Limerick, Dining Humor, Driving Humor, Driving Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Golf Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Poetry Prompt, Theft Humor, Theft Limerick, Wheels Humor, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Business Humor, Car & Driving Humor, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 148 Comments »
Wednesday, August 31st, 2022
Since Wordsmith’s “Word of the Day” today is “Hotheaded,” I decided to use it in a limerick:
A hotheaded fellow named Hugh
Was irked by a huge check-out queue.
To disperse the long line
He yelled “Gun!” — the damn swine.
He wears stripes now; “lines” up the wazoo!
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Gun Humor, Gun Limerick, Hotheaded, Language Humor, Lines Humor, Lines Limerick, Prison Humor, Prison Limerick, Queues Humor, Stripes, Word of the Day, WordSmith, WOTD
Posted in Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Guns & Safety Humor, Language Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Word of the Day | Comments Off on Hotheaded Hugh (Limerick)
Saturday, July 23rd, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BARS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BARS-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SHOP, RUN, NEWS, WARNING, FIRST.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 21, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 20, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE-rhyme limerick:
A man who was rather a flake
Would beef about folks eating steak:
“When you chew, cows can feel it,”
He’d hiss. “As for veal, it
Is worse, so I cotton to snake.”
And here’s my BARS-themed limerick:
A pub owner often stole cars,
Pricey paintings, and sometimes guitars.
He neglected his tavern,
Which looked like a cavern.
Fin’lly caught, he is now behind bars.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
“Don’t go running with knives,” parents warn.
Their children’s response? Often scorn:
“How ’bout scissors?” they query,
Which makes one mom weary:
“Should have stopped with my very first born.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Badly Behaved Children, Beef Eaters, Children Humor, Competition Limerick, Flakes Humor, Food Poem, Food Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Snake Limericks, Steak Humor, Steak Limerick, Vegetarians Humor, Warnings Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 177 Comments »
Thursday, June 2nd, 2022
When I heard that a neighborhood bum
Had been nicknamed “Free Spirit” by some
Of his pals, I asked “Why
Give that tag to the guy?”
Their response? “He enjoys stealing rum.”
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Alcohol Limerick, Beverage Humor, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Nickname Humor, Nickname Limerick, Rum Humor, Rum Limerick, Theft Humor, Theft Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on An Apt Tag (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 18th, 2022
A would-be attacker named Bill
Is disguised and in black, but lacks skill:
He trips on his way
To assaulting his prey.
Though inept he’s, at least, dressed to kill.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Dress Humor, Dress Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Ineptness, Violence Humor, Violence Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on The Incompetent Felon (Limerick)
Saturday, May 14th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WIRE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WATER, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best WATER-related limerick.
And if all that isn’t enough, I’m adding an EXTRA, EXPERIMENTAL LIMERICK CHALLENGE TODAY! If it works out well, it may become an occasional, or perhaps even a regular Limerick-Off feature:
I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
RETIRE, ARROGANT, MISCREANT, SHOES, THINK.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 29, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 28, 2022, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WIRE-rhyme limerick:
This disbursement is urgent. It’s dire!
If it’s late, there’s no quelling the ire
Of a violent man
With a life-or-death plan.
Send it pronto. It’s down to the wire.
Here’s my WATER-themed limerick:
“The first time I jogged wasn’t fun.
I was parched when I’d barely begun;
I’d forgotten to heed
The “must bring water” creed
So, alas, ’twas a dreadful dry run.”
And here is my own RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
I think that my arrogant boss
Should retire already. No loss
Would be felt by his staff
We would all simply laugh,
Throw a party and roast him with sauce.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bad Bosses, Boss Humor, Competition Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Dry Humor, Exercise Humor, Jogging Humor, Jogging Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Random Words, Random Words Generator, Running Humor, Running Limerick, Thirst Humor, Urgency Humor, Urgency Limerick, Water Humor, Water Limerick, Wire Humor, Wire Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Exercise Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 159 Comments »
Saturday, April 30th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DEEDS or MISDEEDS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INVENTIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INVENTION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 15, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 14, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DEEDS or MISDEEDS-rhyme limerick:
A bomber (uncaught) is aghast:
He’d been certain his freedom would last.
But some fresh cold-case leads
To his evil misdeeds
Mean a trial for a blast from the past.
And here’s my INVENTIONS-themed limerick:
When informed his design was unsound,
An inventor’s distress was profound:
“The unfairness is blatant!
Their bias is patent!
My grinder has broken new ground!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Coffee Beans, Coffee Grinder Humor, Cold-Case Humor, Competition Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Gadget Humor, Gadget Limerick, Grinder Humor, Grinder Limerick, Inventions Humor, Inventions Limerick, Inventors, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Patent Humor, Patent Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Trial Humor, Trial Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Guns & Safety Humor, Inventions Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Weapons Humor | 159 Comments »
Sunday, March 27th, 2022
An old-fashioned barber (and knave)
While at work, tried his best to behave.
But alas, he went nuts;
Stabbed two customers’ guts…
And a third had a very close shave.
Tags: Barber Humor, Barber Limerick, Beard Humor, Beard Limerick, Close Shave, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Barbaric Limerick
Monday, March 21st, 2022
This is what happens when I play with idioms:
“Your home sale is under suspension,”
Read the notice, provoking dissension.
“Human bones have been found
In your yard, underground,
And those bones are the bone of contention.”
Tags: Bones Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Home Humor, Home Limerick, House Humor, House Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Real Estate Humor, Real Estate Limerick
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Crime & Punishment Humor, House & Home Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Real Estate Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, January 22nd, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PRIME at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ACCUSATIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ACCUSATIONS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 6 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 5, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my PRIME-rhyme limerick:
A dishonest young fellow named Lance
Stole some wallets and handbags in France.
Though his theft skills were prime,
(This was not his first crime)
Lance was caught quite by chance at a dance.
And here’s my ACCUSATION-themed limerick:
A tense spouse warned her husband, “No joke!
You must give up cigars, or you’ll croak.”
He replied with a shriek:
“But I stopped just last week.”
“You’re lying,” she said. “Don’t blow smoke.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Accusations Humor, Accusations Limerick, Cigars, Competition Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Lies Humor, Lies Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Lying, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Smoking Humor, Smoking Limerick, Theft Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Smoking Humor | 211 Comments »
Friday, November 5th, 2021
A lawyer was cooling his heels,
Awaiting the Court of Appeals.
A ruling was due
Any day — one he’d rue:
Soon in prison he’ll take all his meals.
Happy “Love Your Lawyer Day!
Tags: Law Humor, Lawyers, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Love Your Lawyer Day, November Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To “Love Your Lawyer Day” (1st Friday of November)
Saturday, July 27th, 2019
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BITE or BYTE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to THREATS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best THREAT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 11, 2019 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 10, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BITE/BYTE-rhyme limerick:
A fellow who’d spent his last dime
On a reference book about rhyme,
Wrote light verse day and night.
Some was trite. Some had bite.
But none sold, so he moved on to crime.
And here’s my THREAT-themed limerick:
“Kindly don’t call me ‘Ms.’ Call me ‘Miss,’
Said a gal with a rather loud hiss.
“All that feminist crap
Makes me sick,” went her rap.
“And I’ll sue you cuz ‘Ms.’ is a diss.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Feminism, Feminism Humor, Feminism Satire, Humor Writing, Light Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Feminist Satire, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Writing & Publishing Humor | 143 Comments »
Thursday, July 25th, 2019
Happy “National Culinarians Day!” (July 25) Here’s a limerick to celebrate:
A chef who was sly and ambitious
Ensured that each dish was delicious
By theft from the best.
But he fin’ly confessed…
To disclaim a review that was vicious.
Tags: Chef Humor, Chefs, Cooking Humor, Culinarians Day, Culinary Humor, Food Holidays, July Holidays, National Culinarians' Day, Odd Holidays, Stealing Humor, Theft
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Ambitious Limerick
Sunday, May 27th, 2018
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FILE or DEFILE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PARENTING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PARENTING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 10, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 9, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I could break out of jail with a file.
I could talk my way out, using guile.
But I’d rather get loose
Riding out on a moose,
Cuz my motto is “do things in style.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Crime and Punishment, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Prison Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 147 Comments »
Monday, April 23rd, 2018
Happy World Laboratory Day! (April 23)
A fellow who worked in a lab
Helped discover a cure rather fab.
But alas he was bought;
He blabbed and got caught.
Now his body’s laid out on a slab.
Tags: April Holidays, Discovery Humor, Inventions Humor, Lab Humor, Laboratory Humor, Odd Holidays, Science Humor, Science Limerick, Theft
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Science Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To World Laboratory Day
Saturday, April 14th, 2018
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TEASE or TEAS or TEES at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to EGO, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best EGO-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 29, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 28, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A gal who loved flirting with guys
Indulged in behavior unwise.
She would do a striptease
And then mockingly squeeze
Their crown jew’ls. In the ground she now lies.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Competition Limerick, Crime, Dating, Flirting, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Stripping Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Dating Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 123 Comments »
Saturday, September 17th, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FRAME at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to EXERCISE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best EXERCISE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 2, 2016 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 1, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
An artist was caught in a frame,
Which painted him worthy of blame;
When a woman was killed,
Some blood that was spilled
Helped to pigment his portrait “Dead Dame.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Art Humor, Artist Humor, Competition Limerick, Criime, Criminals, Frame-Ups, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Murder Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 83 Comments »
