Did you know that “balter” means dance clumsily? I didn’t either. But now that I do, I can’t resist using it in a limerick:
On the dance floor, she’d frequently falter.
People tried not to laugh as she’d balter.
And once as she “danced,”
A man (not entranced)
Yelled from back in the crowd: “Kindly halt’er!”
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using ICE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SHOPPING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SHOPPING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 11, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 10, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I’m a klutz who used FIGURE skates twice.
Would I try again? Never! No dice!
I kept fretting I’d fall,
Hit the wall, and then sprawl,
As I skated on very thin ice.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Thumbs are handy for women and men;
So convenient when we have a yen
To shake hands, hitch a ride,
Grab and lift, move that slide.
I just wish I had fewer than TEN.
Happy Thumb Appreciation Day. (February 18)
Dear Klutzy Gift-Givers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Are your fingers all thumbs? Then beware!
Please don’t try to convince her you care
By wrapping your gift.
One quick look — she’ll be miffed:
“Why’s my present been mauled by a bear?”
Though I’m never safe,
his arms always comfort me,
and that must suffice.
*****
Ballroom dancing class—
learning creative ways to
defeat the rumba.
*****
Morning legs dangle
off the bed, as antique joints
brace for their touch down.
*****
Feeling elated—
great, yet dampened by knowing
what’s soon to follow.
*****
Poised atop mirage
of a career, gazing down
at life left behind.
*****
(I wrote the 1st haiku for We Write Poems’ safe prompt; the 4th haiku for Sensational Haiku Wednesday’s elation prompt; and the 5th haiku for One Single Impression’s top prompt and Haiku Heights’ mirage prompt.)
Airplane Piloting 101: If you must spill coffee, spill it on your co-pilot … and not on the plane’s communication’s equipment.
A United Airlines flight from Chicago to Frankfurt, Germany, was diverted to Toronto this week after the pilot dumped a cup of coffee on the plane’s communication’s equipment. The unwanted liquid triggered a series of emergency codes, including one for a hijacking, according to Transport Canada, the agency that regulates transportation in Canada.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Diversion Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A pilot with coffee needs skills
To captain his plane without spills.
So I don’t mean to grouse,
But kindly don’t douse
The controls, cuz that’s flying no-frills.
Slovenly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose shirt was all stained
Saw his lovely wife’s look — it was pained.
“You’re so messy with pasta,”
She chided him. “Basta!
You’re just like your dad — it’s ingrained.”
UPDATE: National Pasta Day is October 17 and World Pasta Day is October 25.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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