Archive for the ‘Clothing Humor’ Category
Sunday, November 24th, 2024
After learning that today is National Sardines Day, I felt compelled to pen this limerick:
How I loathe the vile smell of sardines.
It’s far worse than the farts caused by beans.
When my spouse grabs a can
Of those critters… oh, man,
I must flee, lest I sully my jeans.
Tags: Food Humor, Food Limerick, Marriage Humor, Sardines, Sardines Humor, Sardines Limerick, Smell Humor, Smell Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Smell Humor | No Comments »
Thursday, May 9th, 2024
The next time you hear about or (even worse) run across a disembodied foot that’s washed ashore, there’s a solid scientific explanation: “Feet easily disarticulate and when they are attached to a flotation device such as a running shoe, they are easily washed ashore…”
This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
You wear running shoes? Try not to drown!
If you do while they’re on, you’ll stay down,
Except for your feet,
Which will fall off — not neat —
Float to shore and draw many a frown.
Tags: Pacific Northwest, Science Humor, Science Limerick, Shoes Humor, Shoes Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Limericks, Science Humor | Comments Off on Footloose Limerick
Saturday, April 6th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TACK or ATTACK at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ANNOYANCES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ANNOYANCE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
FALL, FREAKY, GLAMOROUS, LONGER, POINTLESS.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa, and use any other variant of the random words. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 5, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 4, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my TACK or ATTACK-Rhyme Limerick:
In the summer, mosquitoes attack.
(Seems my blood, alas, makes a good snack.)
They hang out in our yard,
Hungry, always on guard
For their “meal” to take one step out back.
And here’s my ANNOYANCE-Themed Limerick:
My enjoyment of scat singing’s scant.
I’m averse to Gregorian Chant.
Bagpipe bands drive me mad!
Vuvuzelas are BAD!
This concludes my unmusical rant.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An ambitious young woman named Kyle
Found her trend-setting efforts a trial.
One fall evening, she freaked
When this fashion news leaked:
Her new gown was no longer in style.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off Post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bagpipe Humor, Bagpipe Limericks, Competition Limerick, Gregorian Chant, Insect Humor, Insect Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Mosquitoes, Music Humor, Music Limerick, Noise Humor, Noise Limerick Scat Humor, Outdoors Humor, Outdoors Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Seasonal Verse, Vuvuzelas, Writing Prompts, Yard Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Fashion Humor, Insect Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Seasons Humor, Trends Humor | 105 Comments »
Tuesday, October 10th, 2023
Can’t recall the last time I wore shoes.
They’re too painful; it’s sneakers I choose.
I like comfort — not style,
And will NOT walk a mile
(Or a foot) wearing shoes. I refuse!
(National Sneakers Day is celebrated on October 9.)
Tags: Footwear Humor, Footwear Limerick, National Sneakers Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Shoes Humor, Shoes Limerick, Sneakers Day, Sneakers Humor, Sneakers Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Walking Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, September 3rd, 2023
When I’m asked, “What’s your least fav invention?”
I waver: “Too many to mention!”
But when pressed, I select
The stiletto; feet wrecked
By the score just for leggy extension!
(National High Heels Day is celebrated on May 20.)
Tags: Feet Humor, Foot Humor, High Heels, Inventions, Shoes Humor, Shoes Limerick, Stilettos
Posted in Clothing Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on What Heel Invented Stilettos? (Limerick)
Saturday, July 22nd, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SUEDE, SWAYED, PERSUADE, or DISSUADE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TESTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TEST-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: DUCK, GIFTED, JITTERY, MERGE, STAR.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 20, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 19, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SUEDE, SWAYED, PERSUADE, or DISSUADE-Rhyme Limerick:
A woman would always wear suede,
Head to toes, both in sun and in shade.
Her spouse fin’ly snapped
Cuz her nighties were napped:
“Our marriage’s fabric is frayed!”
And here’s my TEST-Themed Limerick:
I once took an aptitude test
To learn what I’d likely do best.
The results? Useless crap!
‘Twas all over the map:
“NEVER NAVIGATE!” That’s what it stressed.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
When a jittery mother was told
That her daughter was gifted, she polled
All the parents she knew:
“Could it really be true,
Or do ALL kids get stickers of gold?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Aptitude Tests, Children Humor, Clothing Humor, Competition Limerick, Education Humor, Exams Humor, Fashion Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Navigation Humor, Poetry & Prompts, School Humor, Test Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Clothing Humor, Contests, Education & School Humor, Fashion Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 116 Comments »
Tuesday, October 18th, 2022
This limerick is a very compressed version of a necktie adventure with hubby Mark. And I can’t think of a better way to celebrate “International Necktie Day.”
“You MUST wear a necktie to enter,”
Mark was told. He’s a necktie dissenter,
But he re-tied his tie
Till our drinks were dropped by,
Then removed it — my waitress tormenter.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, International Necktie Day, Necktie Day, Necktie Humor, Necktie Limerick, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Tie Humor, Tie Limerick, Ties
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 17th, 2022
“I’ve a hunch you had pasta for brunch.
There are stains on your clothing — a bunch.
And they’ll never come out;
Of that fact there’s no doubt.
You should learn not to leak when you lunch.”
*****
Happy National Pasta Day! (October 17)
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, National Pasta Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Pasta Day, Stains, Stains Humor, Stains Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Celebrating Pasta (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 31st, 2022
Since Wordsmith’s “Word of the Day” today is “Hotheaded,” I decided to use it in a limerick:
A hotheaded fellow named Hugh
Was irked by a huge check-out queue.
To disperse the long line
He yelled “Gun!” — the damn swine.
He wears stripes now; “lines” up the wazoo!
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Gun Humor, Gun Limerick, Hotheaded, Language Humor, Lines Humor, Lines Limerick, Prison Humor, Prison Limerick, Queues Humor, Stripes, Word of the Day, WordSmith, WOTD
Posted in Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Guns & Safety Humor, Language Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Word of the Day | Comments Off on Hotheaded Hugh (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 18th, 2022
A would-be attacker named Bill
Is disguised and in black, but lacks skill:
He trips on his way
To assaulting his prey.
Though inept he’s, at least, dressed to kill.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Dress Humor, Dress Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Ineptness, Violence Humor, Violence Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on The Incompetent Felon (Limerick)
Sunday, April 24th, 2022
He showed off his coat with a swagger:
“It’s a one-of-a-kind,” said the bragger.
Then he brandished a knife:
“I’ll use THIS on the wife!”
His behavior? Sub-par cloak-and-dagger.
Tags: Braggart Verse, Bragging Humor, Bragging Limerick, Cloak And Dagger, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Coat Humor, Coat Limerick, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Knife Humor, Knife Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Weapons Humor, Weapons Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Idiom Humor, Marriage Humor, Weapons Humor | Comments Off on Cloaked In Bravado (Limerick)
Saturday, April 16th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WASTE or WAIST at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COMMUNICATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COMMUNICATION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 1, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 30, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WASTE or WAIST-rhyme limerick:
Said a fellow, “Alas and alack,
My new pants are too tight in the back
And the front of the waist.
(They were ordered in haste.)
I need someone to cut me some slack.”
And here’s my COMMUNICATION-themed limerick:
Dear hubby, you’re right in the kitchen,
And I’m elsewhere, so though you are itchin’
To share rumors or views,
A complaint or the blues,
I can NOT hear your news, schmooze, or bitchin’.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alterations Humor, Clothing Humor, Communication Humor, Communication Limerick, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Pants Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Slacks Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Communication Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 157 Comments »
Thursday, March 17th, 2022
I always wear socks inside out.
That’s unseemly to many, no doubt.
But my feet ain’t discreet:
“Scratchy sock-seams,” they bleat.
How I hate when extremities shout!
May 9 is National Lost Sock Memorial Day. And December 4 is National Sock Day.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Comfort Humor, Comfort Limerick, Fashion Humor, Feet Humor, Feet Limerick, Foot Humor, Footware Humor, Lost Sock Memorial Day, National Sock Day, Seams, Sock Day, Socks, Socks Humor, Socks Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, January 18th, 2022
A talkative tailor named Chip
Dished the dirt at a spirited clip.
Some patrons with clout
Got the babbler bawled out;
He was ordered to “button his lip.”
Tags: Clothing Humor, Communication Humor, Gossip Humor, Gossip Limerick, Idiom Humor, Tailor Humor, Tailor Limerick, Talkativeness
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Blathering Limerick
Saturday, January 8th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOLD or BOWLED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INJURIES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INJURY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 23, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 22, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BOLD or BOWLED-rhyme limerick:
“You are scantily clad, which is bold,
Cuz I’ve just been outside, and it’s cold.
Your dress seems designed
To freeze your behind,
So you’d best put that ‘hot’ garb on hold.”
And here’s my INJURY-themed limerick:
A young man hurled a tool and yelled, “Catch it.”
And his friend somehow managed to snatch it,
But he’s terribly mad;
He was injured. It’s bad!
No surprise, he won’t bury the hatchet.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Competition Limerick, Hatchet Humor, Injury Humor, Injury Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Tool Humor, Tool Limerick, Weather Humor, Weather Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Fashion Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Weather Humor | 238 Comments »
Friday, December 17th, 2021
When I learn a new word like “jorts,” I feel compelled to use it in a limerick:
“Don’t you dare wear those frumpy old jorts,”
A gal to her husband exhorts.
“Making shorts out of jeans
Is a well-designed means
To induce me to take to the courts.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Jeans Humor, Jorts Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Shorts Humor, Style Humor, Style Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Out Of Sorts About “Jorts” (Limerick)
Friday, December 17th, 2021
Dump redundancy!
U̷g̷l̷y̷ ̷C̷h̷r̷i̷s̷t̷m̷a̷s̷ ̷S̷w̷e̷a̷t̷e̷r̷ ̷D̷a̷y̷
Christmas Sweater Day.
*****
Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is celebrated each year on the 3rd Friday of December.
Tags: Clothes Humor, Clothes Limerick, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, December Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sweater Humor, Sweater Limerick, Ugly Christmas Sweater Day
Posted in Clothing Humor, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, December 1st, 2021
Shop online? Have a clothes-buying spree?
It has always seemed risky to me.
But I gave it a try;
Bought some tees on the fly,
And was floored when they fit to a T.
Tags: Clothes, Clothes Humor, Clothes Limerick, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Online Shopping, Shopping Humor, Shopping Limerick, Tees Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on A Suitable Limerick
Saturday, November 20th, 2021
“Wet clothes in the hamper? That’s foul!”
Said a gal to her spouse, with a scowl.
“What is wrong with you men!?
If you do it again,
I’ll divorce you and throw in the towel.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Clothes Humor, Clothes Limerick, Clothing Limerick, Cothing Humor, Divorce Humor, Divorce Limerick, Hamper Humor, Hamper Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Laundry Humor, Laundry Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick, Relatives Humor, Relatives Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on A Hampered Relationship (Limerick)
Saturday, August 21st, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MEMORY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MEMORY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 5, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 4, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my LOON/LUNE/BALLOON/SALOON-rhyme limerick:
A fellow, as mad as a loon,
Would strip naked outside ev’ry noon,
Till a note came. ’Twas snide:
“Were I you, I would hide
All my privates; your prick’s picayune.
And here’s my MEMORY-themed limerick:
Once again, I am drawing a blank.
My recall’s, alas, in the tank.
My brain feels bombarded
By facts, soon discarded.
So Google’s my memory bank.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Blank Memory, Brain Humor, Brain Limerick, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Competition Limerick, Google Humor, Google Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Memory Humor, Memory Limerick, Naked Humor, Naked Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Memory Humor, Mental Health Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 256 Comments »