Archive for the ‘Behavior & Personality’ Category

Limerick Gymnastics

Wednesday, January 26th, 2022

Two newly-wed gymnasts were sacked
And told it was time to get packed:
“Since the pair of you wed,
You are always in bed.”
Their defense? “Life’s a balancing act.”

Unsolicited Advice (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 25th, 2022

If you’re someone who blows your own trumpet,
It’s a terrible habit. Please dump it!
You’ve let loose with a hiss?
I won’t sugarcoat this;
You will just have to like it or lump it.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PRIME at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 5, 2022 )

Saturday, January 22nd, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PRIME at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ACCUSATIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ACCUSATIONS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 6 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 5, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my PRIME-rhyme limerick:

A dishonest young fellow named Lance
Stole some wallets and handbags in France.
Though his theft skills were prime,
(This was not his first crime)
Lance was caught quite by chance at a dance.

And here’s my ACCUSATION-themed limerick:

A tense spouse warned her husband, “No joke!
You must give up cigars, or you’ll croak.”
He replied with a shriek:
“But I stopped just last week.”
“You’re lying,” she said. “Don’t blow smoke.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Blathering Limerick

Tuesday, January 18th, 2022

A talkative tailor named Chip
Dished the dirt at a spirited clip.
Some patrons with clout
Got the babbler bawled out;
He was ordered to “button his lip.”

“Bucket Lists” Leave Me Listless (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 11th, 2022

There are folks who develop a bucket list;
Pre-death dreams, goals, and treks to Nantucket list.
But to heck with that checklist!
I don’t need a trek-list!
I DO have a chuck-it and fuck-it list.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BOLD or BOWLED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 22, 2022 )

Saturday, January 8th, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOLD or BOWLED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INJURIES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INJURY-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 23, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 22, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my BOLD or BOWLED-rhyme limerick:

“You are scantily clad, which is bold,
Cuz I’ve just been outside, and it’s cold.
Your dress seems designed
To freeze your behind,
So you’d best put that ‘hot’ garb on hold.”

And here’s my INJURY-themed limerick:

A young man hurled a tool and yelled, “Catch it.”
And his friend somehow managed to snatch it,
But he’s terribly mad;
He was injured. It’s bad!
No surprise, he won’t bury the hatchet.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RIGHT or WRITE or RITE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 8, 2022)

Saturday, December 25th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RIGHT or WRITE or RITE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SHOTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SHOTS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 9, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 8, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my RIGHT or WRITE or RITE-rhyme limerick:

I do NOT do a lot of conversing;
Too much small talk will likely spur cursing.
Why prattle, or fight?
I would much rather write
And indulge in some rhyme-world immersing.

And here’s my SHOTS-themed limerick:

“My boss enjoys calling the shots.
And he likes to tie staff up in knots.
He’s a dim bulb and dolt,
Who once caused a revolt.
Seems at birth he was shorted some watts.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Out Of Sorts About “Jorts” (Limerick)

Friday, December 17th, 2021

When I learn a new word like “jorts,” I feel compelled to use it in a limerick:

“Don’t you dare wear those frumpy old jorts,”
A gal to her husband exhorts.
“Making shorts out of jeans
Is a well-designed means
To induce me to take to the courts.”

Limerick Confusion

Wednesday, December 15th, 2021

“Oh my goodness, my gosh, and my heavens,”
Said a fellow who called himself Evans.
He repeated this twice,
As he juggled some dice,
Adding “Yikes! I’m at sixes and sevens.”

Exit Interruptus

Wednesday, December 15th, 2021

We were packed and all ready to jet
To a beachfront resort, when “Not yet,”
Said my wife. “I must go
Get my hair curled by Flo.”
Hours later: “Let’s leave. I’m all set.”

(For the record, I don’t have a wife. But I do have a procrastinating husband with no concept of time.)

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SPACE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 25, 2021)

Saturday, December 11th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SPACE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FISH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FISH-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 26, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 25, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SPACE-rhyme limerick:

My best friends love a catering space,
And they book it whenever they face
An important affair.
But not me, cuz I swear
That it sucks. I’m fed up with the place.

And here’s my FISH-themed limerick:

Female twins host a podcast that’s odd:
Ev’ry week they talk “veggies and scrod.”
And each meal that they eat
Features fish. Never meat!
They are just like two peas in a pod.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Limerick Ode To Dice

Saturday, December 4th, 2021

“Our son has a terrible vice;
He’s a gambler and not very nice.
When we tell him to stop,
He says, ‘Mother and Pop,
All my cards on the table: No dice!'”

(December 4 is “National Dice Day.”)

A Knotty Issue (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 30th, 2021

“Though it’s fine that my boyfriend is naughty,
A bit bossy and bad-ass and dotty,
His obsession with bots
Has me tied up in knots.
So I can’t tie the knot with that hottie.”

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CRUDE or CREWED or ACCRUED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 11, 2021)

Saturday, November 27th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CRUDE or CREWED or ACCRUED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CRIME, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CRIME-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 12, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 11, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my CRUDE/CREWED/ACCRUED-rhyme limerick:

A comic was starting to freak
Cuz his comedy future looked bleak.
He turned morbid and crude
And increasingly lewd,
And was panned cuz he joked a blue streak.

And here’s my CRIME-themed limerick:

Said the sous-chef, “Don’t make me relive
The attack that killed chef/owner Viv.
I’m exhausted and drained,
And my recall has waned…
Cuz my mem’ry is much like a sieve.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

The Blathering Botanist (Limerick)

Saturday, November 20th, 2021

John the botanist’s dull as can be.
His life is a blathering spree.
He ignores all my pleas
To stop shooting the breeze,
And can talk all the bark off a tree.

A Sardonic Bloke (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 17th, 2021

An angry, sardonic young bloke
Lost his job and was utterly broke.
He tried standup, but failed
To get laughs, so he bailed.
Yelled the ‘comic,’ “You can’t take a joke!”

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Cruise or Crews or Cruse at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 27, 2021)

Sunday, November 14th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Cruise or Crews or Cruse at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Retirement, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Retirement-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 28, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 27, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my CRUISE or CREWS or CRUSE-rhyme limerick:

My muse often gives me the blues.
When I ask her for help, she’ll refuse.
She’ll mock me and roast me
And frequently ghost me.
She’s AWOL right now — on a cruise.

And here’s my RETIREMENT-themed limerick:

“It is best to acknowledge the truth
And retire; you’re way past your youth,”
Said a gal to her spouse,
Who’s a dentist. “Don’t grouse!
Just face facts: You are long in the tooth.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Longing For A Bong (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 10th, 2021

Happy Bong Day! (November 10)

A singer who longed for a bong
(Though it’s bad for her voice and so wrong)
Called a seller she knew.
They met up at the zoo,
Where a bongload was bought for a song.

Indifferent Limerick

Sunday, November 7th, 2021

If you utter the sentence “So what?”
Your meaning is open and shut.
“I don’t care” is the gist
Of those words — can’t be missed.
So brace for a fist and a “But.”

When I Rise, I Don’t Shine (Limerick)

Monday, November 1st, 2021

Ev’ry day when I rise, hubby greets me
With political news, which depletes me.
He’s eager to share it,
But I just can’t bear it,
Cuz pre-caffeine info defeats me.